Open Discussion Forum

  • 1.  hurting friends

    Posted 02-28-2023 07:31 PM

    Hello! I have a child in my class who really needs help with controlling his urges to hurt friends. Most times it seems to be from frustration, inability to use his words first, and reacting from the brain stem/inability to control his body; other times, he is calm and seemingly in control of himself and will do something hurtful in a "calculated" way, even though he's only 4. Any advice?

    Stacey Parker
    Falls Church VA

  • 2.  RE: hurting friends

    Posted 03-01-2023 11:48 PM

    It sounds like you're figuring out what is underneath the behavior, which is right on. Can you try assisting their communication via physical supports, such as problem-based picture cards? You could keep them handy for them to grab when frustrated and to show the other student (and you) what they are wanting or avoiding.  The group overall might benefit also from some Emotions/Feelings Cards or Charts, to help express anger or sadness without hurting physically.

    Mars April Caulton

    Chicago IL

  • 3.  RE: hurting friends

    Posted 03-02-2023 12:43 PM

    I would suggest keeping an observation log, talking to the parents about how they handle this behavior at home and then shadowing this child for 4 to 5 days to help him/her use behaviors that are more gentle.

    Susan Smith
    Heart and Hands Montessori
    Lafayette CO