I'm new to this program and LOVE the discussion option! I'm going back through previous topics so I can do some leaning and responding.
We all have to adhere to dress codes in one sense or another, right?
BUSINESS: If your employee wears a dress or blouse, that's within the norms of a typical dress code, but if he started to wear something provocative, like skimpy or suggestive clothing; or, from another angle, sweats or filthy/smelly clothes -- that should be addressed -- those are not appropriate examples of attire for the work environment no matter who you are. If the clothing isn't appropriate for the work environment (an environment with kids, parents, teaching) it can't be allowed. If the clothing
is within dress code norms but it is a male in clothing a woman would typically wear, or vice-versa --
(I know this wasn't the basis of your question but I just wanted to clarify) -- in a public place of employment, I don't think that's up for comment, and I imagine it could get ugly if it
were commented on.
PERSONAL: However, given
a) the reality that you've known this person for 22 years and you never had reason to wonder what color heels he might wear with the flower-print dress; and
b) that the job you offered is with children and the parents they have -- two kinds of people each with their own sensitivities, and yes, the latter more than the former -- he certainly should have mentioned something at the very least, to give you a head's up, heck, I don't know... Personally, I would be upset, but it's business. Would it have been a show of responsibility on his part to check with you, first, and see how
you felt about
his dress habits as he worked with
kids at
your business? I think so. It doesn't sound like he had any guarantee that parents wouldn't care that he dressed as a woman.
Some jobs/careers are more about the people we serve -- we may have to keep our unique inner-self at home during the work day; while and other jobs
can be about just about
us -- we can say what we want, wear what we want, and not think twice about it.
Teaching kids,
they come first. This is not to say that your employee can't wear a dress or that he should hide himself at all -- and, as you see, he
is dressing how he wants and legally there's nothing that can or should be done about that. I guess what I'm saying is, not everyone is on the same page; and it takes some people more time than others to adapt to social changes, like having no second thought when you see that the man who is teaching your child is wearing a dress. Some people need more time with that, and that's OK. We're not all the same and we don't all have the same beliefs and principles -- and what a boring world it would be if we did!
I just think it would have been a responsible move to mention it first. It would have shown that he cared about your business -- a business that relies on keeping parents happy as you care for their most precious possession. Some parents could have blown a gasket and left. Maybe some did. I hope no one did. I hope no one reacted negatively. I know most people feel that parents would have had no right to react negatively in a situation where we need to be accepting and affirming and celebrate our differences. "Good riddance to the Karens!" Am I right? But the thing is, people may need more time, simple as that.
I think we'd travel leaps and bounds with being inclusive if we, I don't know, did our best to include
everyone. ------------------------------
Lindsay
Billings, MT
------------------------------
Original Message:
Sent: 05-18-2021 07:25 AM
From: Veronique Liebmann
Subject: Cross dressing in childcare centers settings
While I will consult with an attorney to get proper guidance on an HR standpoint, I would love to hear from your experiences in your centers.
I hired 6 months ago a former student (my first kindergartner 22 years ago when I opened my center!) as an assistant teacher for my afternoon extended care program. He is a wonderful addition to my team and my little ones look forward to see him every day. Over the past few weeks, I noticed some changes in his appearance: nail polish on a few nails, ponytail, ears piercings, and more recently a woman's blouse over his pants. Yesterday he arrived wearing a long summer dress.
I have personally no problem with cross dressing and transgender. However is it appropriate to expose young children in a childcare center setting? I am concerned about my student's exposure and the image of my center.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences.
------------------------------
Veronique Liebmann
Minnetonka MN
------------------------------