Hi Trisha,
I have a few questions to better understand the situation. Have the list of tools you mentioned (family picture, picture schedule, etc.) worked in the past for coping and now they're not working, or are they new strategies? For how long has the recent separation anxiety been happening?
If it's been two weeks or less, and without knowing anything else about the child and your classroom, my initial thought is that the child might be regressing because they are on the verge of a significant burst in literacy development. Every year that I taught four-year-olds there were multiple children who regressed in a notable way (with sleep, emotion processing, eating, toileting) for about two weeks before their burst in literacy development.
On the other hand, I wonder if something's going on at home to lead the child to feel more vulnerable. Have you asked the family about how things are going at home? I remember multiple times that when checking in with parents during times like these they would divulge that they're pregnant, or that their relationship or housing is unstable, and once someone told me the other parent had been traveling for work outside the country for a week and they didn't think to tell us about it. Even if no one has explicitly told the child they can feel that things are changing. How does the drop-off parent respond during the drop-off tenderness? Does the child have any siblings?
Any of the situations above can bring up big emotions or drain our reserves for handling them. Collaborative Emotion Processing (CEP) is always valuable. First simply allowing the emotion, then using pictorial cues to identify and validate sadness/worry/scared/etc. and then teach coping strategies that are directly related to processing those emotions for this child. Here is a link to some CEP resources which include the phases of emotion processing (slide 3). This is a guide for scaffolding.
No matter the reason for the separation anxiety there is a dysregulated nervous system to tend to. Adults provide co-regulation by calming our own nervous systems with the intention of soothing. This can mean soothing with a steady, calming presence. We do this naturally with infants but we forget that preschoolers (and even older children) need co-regulation at times, too. It can be exhausting to be this person all day. Soothing can also mean soothing the sensory system with activities that support the processing of information from the outside world (auditory, visual, proprioceptive, vestibular). If a child's sensory system is struggling to process all the information that's coming through the senses in a busy preschool classroom it can be overwhelming. It can be helpful to consult with an Occupational Therapist for specific techniques that would be a good fit for a certain child. I'm not sure that the ASQ would detect sensory processing challenges so it would be worth finding a checklist for this specific purpose (I have a paper copy of one that I don't have access to at the moment, but I can send you by email if you're interested).
In the meantime, I recommend communicating with your team to make sure teachers are prepared to help each other to tap out of providing this level of co-regulation when they need to, especially during the period of time that you're looking for strategies that work. Make sure you have a sturdy self-care practice to sustain your well-being.
Sincerely,
Lauren
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Lauren Stauble
Consultant/Faculty
Boston, MA
feelthinkconnect.com
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Original Message:
Sent: 04-24-2023 08:54 AM
From: Trisha Dart
Subject: Social Emotional development 4 year old
I have a child in my program, they turned 4 late 2022. They started my program in August 2022. The first 6 weeks of school they cried nearly all day. First time away from parents. They are 5 days a week, 7 hours a day.
After those 6 weeks the crying got much better, they started to engage well with other children and materials.
Fast forward to March 2023, separation anxiety has reemerged at drop off, nap time, and anytime they feel like they don't have anyone to play with or I haven't gotten a new activity out at the table. I have to help them facilitate play nearly every day when they are here.
I am at a loss right now on what to do. I have done the family pictures, individual picture schedule, comfort stuffy and blanket. This child can have these materials at any point in the day they need it.
I have done the ASQ and ASQ-SE and they fall within normal ranges.
Any ideas on what I can do to help this child?
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Trisha Dart
Owner/Teacher
Little Ones Learning Early Education
Comstock Park, MI
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