Open Discussion Forum

  • 1.  Kids pulling down their pants

    Posted 05-25-2023 02:04 PM

    Hi Everyone,
    Around once per year, a child decides that it is funny to pull their pants down and show the other kids their private parts.  I know it is completely age appropriate, but I would love to have a book or two that we could read with the kids that addresses it.  Every book I have found based on a web search focuses on "good touch/bad touch".  While these books are great, they are not what I am looking for.  Do any of you know of any books that just talk about keeping our private parts private and NOT good touch/bad touch?  Thanks in advance for your help!



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    Liz Ravitch
    Director
    Kol Emet Preschool
    PA
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  • 2.  RE: Kids pulling down their pants

    Posted 05-26-2023 06:56 AM

    Hi,
    You are right when you say this is normal for certain age groups of children. I believe if this behavior is ignored it will stop.
    Reading books is great if you can find a book about this topic. I was a Director of a preschool for many years. The first step was to tell our social worker and have the nurse along with the social worker speak to the parents/or guardians. Do they do this at home? Unfortunately, sometimes this behavior stems from what is witnessed at home. Parents may think this is cute or themselves allow the child to see their private parts. This is not our concern since it is done in the privacy of their home.
    I think parents need to talk to their children and explain about their bodies. Children need to know that exposing themselves in front of their peers is not appropriate behavior. My own grandchildren as they matured were taught that undressing even in front of family members is not appropriate and that their body parts are something that is theirs to be respected. A lesson about this is appropriate if it is done in a sensitive way. Our nurses would read books about going to the doctors and that it was fine to show a doctor their bodies. Also, we had a special program where our county would come and talk about this issue to the children using puppets.
    Please remember that you are the teacher along with your teacher assistant and must deal with this in your own way. You both set the tone. Children love talking the potty talk! Again, ignoring is a good action unless it gets out of hand.
    Setting boundaries from the beginning of the school year is the way to go. When I was a teacher, this was our first topic- being respectful of our bodies and our friends' bodies. Tracing their body with huge pieces of art paper and having the children decorate them is a great project. 
    I hope my advice has helped you.




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    Mary Ellen Allocca
    Early Childhood Educational Consultant
    NJ
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  • 3.  RE: Kids pulling down their pants

    Posted 05-26-2023 12:27 PM

    Hi Liz,

     

    This is not a book, but utilizing this Kids teach Kids video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6PFc-i_dUo&list=LL&index=7), we had great discussions with children at school during our circle time, which has been very helpful. If you wish, you can use the contents covered in the video to make your own book!

     

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

    River Yang, Ph.D.

    Director/Lead Teacher

    Montessori Plus International

    Missoula's Top-quality Bilingual Pre-K School

     


    Virus-free.www.avast.com





  • 4.  RE: Kids pulling down their pants

    Posted 05-29-2023 08:23 AM

    I have that problem occasionally in my classroom. I typically talk with the parents to let them know what is going on and see if similar behaviors are happening at home. Of course this behavior is age appropriate but it still needs to be addressed in a kind and non-shaming way.
    A book I like to use is called My Body is Special and Private (teacher edition).
    My Body is Special and Private - Teacher's Edition https://a.co/d/9OJXxl1
    This book helps teach children about what body parts are private, what the word private means, and that they are not for sharing with others. It does discuss too about adults should be keeping you safe and appropriate touches. 

    I find this book is helpful and provides a good way to discuss what is appropriate behaviors at school 8n regards to our body.

    ** there are 2 different editions of the book, make sure to get the teacher edition. The other edition is more for families at home and some of the things in it don't apply as well to a classroom setting.



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    Ilene Truongchu
    OH
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  • 5.  RE: Kids pulling down their pants

    Posted 05-30-2023 03:50 PM

    Thanks everyone.  I will look into those books!  We have discussed it with the parents and she is learning it from her older sister.  We reinforced to the family that it is completely age appropriate (they were worried it was a sign of a deeper problem).  The problem with her doing it in the classroom is that she gets the other girls to follow her.  She is smart enough to do it in the classroom reading nook which is off to the side.  It made a classmate uncomfortable so the classmate told her teachers otherwise I do not think we would have known it was happening.  I really appreciate all of your help and I research the books some of you suggested!!



    ------------------------------
    Elizabeth Ravitch
    Director
    Kol Emet Preschool
    PA
    ------------------------------



  • 6.  RE: Kids pulling down their pants

    Posted 05-31-2023 11:20 AM

    Hi! Childhood sexuality expert chiming in! Yes to pretty much all of this! This behavior is developmentally typical, for sure, however, there was some advice to ignore it. This isn't a good idea because kids need to know it's not OK or safe to show, look at, or touch (other people's) private parts. The only way for them to know this is if they are told in a kind way. A quick reminder about the body rules and a convo with parents is the way to go with something like this. Glad to hear that happened an you figured out what was going on a home. 

    So happy to hear you are looking for books that don't use "good touch / bad touch." Safe touch is what's said now, as "good touch" implies a value judgement, like being a good or bad kid. 

    As for books! 
    - I Can Play it Safe is great
    - It's MY Body (old but great - it looks like 1982 when it was written, but the messages are great)
    - C is for Consent

    This is a guide to sexual behavior in children that addresses this very topic and includes a script for talking with kids about this stuff. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1068YZc1rBFvqs7MOK7uMW69ymKH9_A_5/view?usp=sharing



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    Amy Lang
    Sexuality Educator
    Birds + Bees + Kids
    WA
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  • 7.  RE: Kids pulling down their pants

    Posted 05-31-2023 04:30 PM

    Dear Amy,

     

    Thank you so much for taking time to share your professional opinions and the great resources. I ordered the books and downloaded the file.

     

    Your expertise is very much appreciated!

     

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

    River Yang, Ph.D.

    Director/Lead Teacher

    Montessori Plus International

    1535 Cooper Street, Missoula MT 59802

    (406) 240-2523  MPI website  MPI Facebook Page

    Missoula's Top-quality Bilingual Pre-K School

     


    Virus-free.www.avast.com





  • 8.  RE: Kids pulling down their pants

    Posted 05-31-2023 04:52 PM

    I second what River said!!  Thanks so much for your help and these resources!



    ------------------------------
    Elizabeth Ravitch
    Director
    Kol Emet Preschool
    PA
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  • 9.  RE: Kids pulling down their pants

    Posted 06-01-2023 08:24 AM

    Yes, thank you Elizabeth, Amy and others for this thread!  I will training staff on this topic and likely include this on our next parent meeting agenda.  Thank you again for these succinct, helpful resources.



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    Shantel Ingram-Gholston
    Director
    Joyful Blessings
    MI
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