Sue Miller's letter sparked a very valuable discussion. It's impossible not to feel for this child and for everyone who cares about the child. The behavior described is very concerning.
There seems to be agreement about the child's deep distress, and the dilemma for the adults around the child. Root causes might be anger, extreme anxiety, unmet needs, harshness and lack of safety in the environment, and/or exposure to over-powering expressions of feeling – whether directly experienced or observed on media platforms… The list makes clear the puzzle – as Sue Miller put it – of understanding root causes; motivation is complex and can have multiple roots. We can usefully teach children many social skills, but for some troubled children, a primary focus on teaching "replacement" social skills may get in the way of attending to the individual child's unique and deeper challenges.
As many writers here note, we can work to provide positive interactions. Still, despite our concerns, and actions, it may not be possible to significantly improve a child's life, and we remain responsible for the other children in the group. Child, family, and teachers may benefit from sensitive and consistent outside help. It's especially important to remember this now when the pandemic and social ills have had exacerbated families' difficulties.
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Julie Diamond
Adjunct professor, field supervisor, CCNY, New York
Author, "Kindergarten: A Teacher, Her Students, and a Year of Learning"
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Original Message:
Sent: 01-02-2023 02:20 PM
From: Sue Miller
Subject: forum
I would like to thank all who have responded with viewpoints and suggestions on my post. I think it is a topic that we are going to see more and more of as processes determining what constitutes early interventions and these types of behavior issues continue to rise. I am very thankful for this forum - to get issues & struggles out into the open, learn from others, and help other educators as well. Thank You Hello! for giving us this meeting place!
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Sue Miller
team leader
Child Development Center
Remsen IA
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