Open Discussion Forum

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

Thanks so much for responding. I have found some more sources and a Working Bibliography that would provide fabulous scholarly information I could use. However, I must find a library through which I can access the journal articles. I am thinking I will need to find a college or university library that will give me access as a taxpayer. Iowa State University is only about 30 minutes from my home in the Des Moines suburban area.

The book is meant to be for women's literature / popular fiction. It focuses on the aunt who reluctantly takes on the five kids terrified she cannot do the job right.  One of the hardest pieces of her journey with them is helping them handle their grief, especially the 9-year-old, 6-year-old, and 3-year-old. The 2-year-old is not strongly verbal, so he is trying to process why he misses his Mommy and Daddy. He knows things aren't right but, of course, is mostly immersed in play but picks up on the 3-year-old's "grief attacks." And he often is irritable and crying for his mommy when overly tired. The 3-year-old has trouble remembering what "permanent" or "forever" mean. He is certain his mommy will come back for him. I'm planning, at least at the moment, to have him run away sometime in the early summer to find Mommy and Daddy and help them find their way back to his house where they are supposed to be. That's his extreme inability to understand that death is permanent. The 6-year-old is the only girl; I'm toying with having her just stop being able to read a couple months after losing her parents. I'd like a bit of research info to confirm for me that such a problem might be possible in a child's grief process at the age of 6. The 9-year-old, the most able to understand what death means, is seemingly coping well and leads the kids wonderfully through the visitation and funeral. They draw pictures to put in the caskets at visitation and play in a room off of the chapel. During the funeral, the children's director from the church reads a wonderful picture book to them. They say a prayer together and then each child lays a rose on each closed casket and returns to their seat with aunt and grandparents. I found info through funeral home continued education info to support that as the current thinking about having children participate in these stages of the American grief/funeral traditions, especially if it is the death of a parent. I cannot find anything about the sudden loss of both parents. I guess that is too traumatic to even think about, but it must happen, especially with plane crashes, car crashes, etc. In the book, the parents are killed by a drunk driver who, ironically, is grieving the loss of his wife to cancer.  And I purchased a couple children's books--one is, I think, outstanding. I will try to remember to get the author and title for you. It might be a book to have at a day care just to have it tucked away to pull out if needed for a child or the child and his/her age group friends. 

At any rate, the 9-year-old boy does well for a few months but then begins venting his anger by getting into fights with his friends at school. So he is going to need help of some sort as well. The aunt is not fond of teacher conferences since she is so short on parenting skills, learning them on the fly, so to speak. She is a college English professor, roughly based on my experiences. They say to write about what you know. 😉 I, however, have been caring for babies since I was 2 years old and wanting to take care of my baby brother.

I am also planning to have some adults, mostly the family's friends from neighborhood and church who will stumble all over themselves and say some pretty bizarre things like your dreadful experience! I have been through and divorce and have lost both parents and all in-laws. I think people either come up with some bizarre comments or avoid you entirely because they have no idea what to say. I don't know why they can't just keep it simple and ask, "How are you doing? I've been thinking of you." Or they could ask if there is something they could do that would help you this afternoon? . . . or I'm going for groceries, are there some things I could get for you while I am there?

Thanks for your comments and have a lovely holiday season and a great new year. I must get on with writing my book; I am 74, so I need to see if I can get it published before I am gone! 😊
Peggy

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

Thanks so much for responding. I have found some more sources and a Working Bibliography that would provide fabulous scholarly information I could use. However, I must find a library through which I can access the journal articles. I am thinking I will need to find a college or university library that will give me access as a taxpayer. Iowa State University is only about 30 minutes from my home in the Des Moines suburban area.

The book is meant to be for women's literature / popular fiction. It focuses on the aunt who reluctantly takes on the five kids terrified she cannot do the job right.  One of the hardest pieces of her journey with them is helping them handle their grief, especially the 9-year-old, 6-year-old, and 3-year-old. The 2-year-old is not strongly verbal, so he is trying to process why he misses his Mommy and Daddy. He knows things aren't right but, of course, is mostly immersed in play but picks up on the 3-year-old's "grief attacks." And he often is irritable and crying for his mommy when overly tired. The 3-year-old has trouble remembering what "permanent" or "forever" mean. He is certain his mommy will come back for him. I'm planning, at least at the moment, to have him run away sometime in the early summer to find Mommy and Daddy and help them find their way back to his house where they are supposed to be. That's his extreme inability to understand that death is permanent. The 6-year-old is the only girl; I'm toying with having her just stop being able to read a couple months after losing her parents. I'd like a bit of research info to confirm for me that such a problem might be possible in a child's grief process at the age of 6. The 9-year-old, the most able to understand what death means, is seemingly coping well and leads the kids wonderfully through the visitation and funeral. They draw pictures to put in the caskets at visitation and play in a room off of the chapel. During the funeral, the children's director from the church reads a wonderful picture book to them. They say a prayer together and then each child lays a rose on each closed casket and returns to their seat with aunt and grandparents. I found info through funeral home continued education info to support that as the current thinking about having children participate in these stages of the American grief/funeral traditions, especially if it is the death of a parent. I cannot find anything about the sudden loss of both parents. I guess that is too traumatic to even think about, but it must happen, especially with plane crashes, car crashes, etc. In the book, the parents are killed by a drunk driver who, ironically, is grieving the loss of his wife to cancer.  And I purchased a couple children's books--one is, I think, outstanding. I will try to remember to get the author and title for you. It might be a book to have at a day care just to have it tucked away to pull out if needed for a child or the child and his/her age group friends. 

At any rate, the 9-year-old boy does well for a few months but then begins venting his anger by getting into fights with his friends at school. So he is going to need help of some sort as well. The aunt is not fond of teacher conferences since she is so short on parenting skills, learning them on the fly, so to speak. She is a college English professor, roughly based on my experiences. They say to write about what you know. 😉 I, however, have been caring for babies since I was 2 years old and wanting to take care of my baby brother.

I am also planning to have some adults, mostly the family's friends from neighborhood and church who will stumble all over themselves and say some pretty bizarre things like your dreadful experience! I have been through and divorce and have lost both parents and all in-laws. I think people either come up with some bizarre comments or avoid you entirely because they have no idea what to say. I don't know why they can't just keep it simple and ask, "How are you doing? I've been thinking of you." Or they could ask if there is something they could do that would help you this afternoon? . . . or I'm going for groceries, are there some things I could get for you while I am there?

Thanks for your comments and have a lovely holiday season and a great new year. I must get on with writing my book; I am 74, so I need to see if I can get it published before I am gone! 😊
Peggy

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

Thanks so much for responding. I have found some more sources and a Working Bibliography that would provide fabulous scholarly information I could use. However, I must find a library through which I can access the journal articles. I am thinking I will need to find a college or university library that will give me access as a taxpayer. Iowa State University is only about 30 minutes from my home in the Des Moines suburban area.

The book is meant to be for women's literature / popular fiction. It focuses on the aunt who reluctantly takes on the five kids terrified she cannot do the job right.  One of the hardest pieces of her journey with them is helping them handle their grief, especially the 9-year-old, 6-year-old, and 3-year-old. The 2-year-old is not strongly verbal, so he is trying to process why he misses his Mommy and Daddy. He knows things aren't right but, of course, is mostly immersed in play but picks up on the 3-year-old's "grief attacks." And he often is irritable and crying for his mommy when overly tired. The 3-year-old has trouble remembering what "permanent" or "forever" mean. He is certain his mommy will come back for him. I'm planning, at least at the moment, to have him run away sometime in the early summer to find Mommy and Daddy and help them find their way back to his house where they are supposed to be. That's his extreme inability to understand that death is permanent. The 6-year-old is the only girl; I'm toying with having her just stop being able to read a couple months after losing her parents. I'd like a bit of research info to confirm for me that such a problem might be possible in a child's grief process at the age of 6. The 9-year-old, the most able to understand what death means, is seemingly coping well and leads the kids wonderfully through the visitation and funeral. They draw pictures to put in the caskets at visitation and play in a room off of the chapel. During the funeral, the children's director from the church reads a wonderful picture book to them. They say a prayer together and then each child lays a rose on each closed casket and returns to their seat with aunt and grandparents. I found info through funeral home continued education info to support that as the current thinking about having children participate in these stages of the American grief/funeral traditions, especially if it is the death of a parent. I cannot find anything about the sudden loss of both parents. I guess that is too traumatic to even think about, but it must happen, especially with plane crashes, car crashes, etc. In the book, the parents are killed by a drunk driver who, ironically, is grieving the loss of his wife to cancer.  And I purchased a couple children's books--one is, I think, outstanding. I will try to remember to get the author and title for you. It might be a book to have at a day care just to have it tucked away to pull out if needed for a child or the child and his/her age group friends. 

At any rate, the 9-year-old boy does well for a few months but then begins venting his anger by getting into fights with his friends at school. So he is going to need help of some sort as well. The aunt is not fond of teacher conferences since she is so short on parenting skills, learning them on the fly, so to speak. She is a college English professor, roughly based on my experiences. They say to write about what you know. 😉 I, however, have been caring for babies since I was 2 years old and wanting to take care of my baby brother.

I am also planning to have some adults, mostly the family's friends from neighborhood and church who will stumble all over themselves and say some pretty bizarre things like your dreadful experience! I have been through and divorce and have lost both parents and all in-laws. I think people either come up with some bizarre comments or avoid you entirely because they have no idea what to say. I don't know why they can't just keep it simple and ask, "How are you doing? I've been thinking of you." Or they could ask if there is something they could do that would help you this afternoon? . . . or I'm going for groceries, are there some things I could get for you while I am there?

Thanks for your comments and have a lovely holiday season and a great new year. I must get on with writing my book; I am 74, so I need to see if I can get it published before I am gone! 😊
Peggy

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

Thanks so much for responding. I have found some more sources and a Working Bibliography that would provide fabulous scholarly information I could use. However, I must find a library through which I can access the journal articles. I am thinking I will need to find a college or university library that will give me access as a taxpayer. Iowa State University is only about 30 minutes from my home in the Des Moines suburban area.

The book is meant to be for women's literature / popular fiction. It focuses on the aunt who reluctantly takes on the five kids terrified she cannot do the job right.  One of the hardest pieces of her journey with them is helping them handle their grief, especially the 9-year-old, 6-year-old, and 3-year-old. The 2-year-old is not strongly verbal, so he is trying to process why he misses his Mommy and Daddy. He knows things aren't right but, of course, is mostly immersed in play but picks up on the 3-year-old's "grief attacks." And he often is irritable and crying for his mommy when overly tired. The 3-year-old has trouble remembering what "permanent" or "forever" mean. He is certain his mommy will come back for him. I'm planning, at least at the moment, to have him run away sometime in the early summer to find Mommy and Daddy and help them find their way back to his house where they are supposed to be. That's his extreme inability to understand that death is permanent. The 6-year-old is the only girl; I'm toying with having her just stop being able to read a couple months after losing her parents. I'd like a bit of research info to confirm for me that such a problem might be possible in a child's grief process at the age of 6. The 9-year-old, the most able to understand what death means, is seemingly coping well and leads the kids wonderfully through the visitation and funeral. They draw pictures to put in the caskets at visitation and play in a room off of the chapel. During the funeral, the children's director from the church reads a wonderful picture book to them. They say a prayer together and then each child lays a rose on each closed casket and returns to their seat with aunt and grandparents. I found info through funeral home continued education info to support that as the current thinking about having children participate in these stages of the American grief/funeral traditions, especially if it is the death of a parent. I cannot find anything about the sudden loss of both parents. I guess that is too traumatic to even think about, but it must happen, especially with plane crashes, car crashes, etc. In the book, the parents are killed by a drunk driver who, ironically, is grieving the loss of his wife to cancer.  And I purchased a couple children's books--one is, I think, outstanding. I will try to remember to get the author and title for you. It might be a book to have at a day care just to have it tucked away to pull out if needed for a child or the child and his/her age group friends. 

At any rate, the 9-year-old boy does well for a few months but then begins venting his anger by getting into fights with his friends at school. So he is going to need help of some sort as well. The aunt is not fond of teacher conferences since she is so short on parenting skills, learning them on the fly, so to speak. She is a college English professor, roughly based on my experiences. They say to write about what you know. 😉 I, however, have been caring for babies since I was 2 years old and wanting to take care of my baby brother.

I am also planning to have some adults, mostly the family's friends from neighborhood and church who will stumble all over themselves and say some pretty bizarre things like your dreadful experience! I have been through and divorce and have lost both parents and all in-laws. I think people either come up with some bizarre comments or avoid you entirely because they have no idea what to say. I don't know why they can't just keep it simple and ask, "How are you doing? I've been thinking of you." Or they could ask if there is something they could do that would help you this afternoon? . . . or I'm going for groceries, are there some things I could get for you while I am there?

Thanks for your comments and have a lovely holiday season and a great new year. I must get on with writing my book; I am 74, so I need to see if I can get it published before I am gone! 😊
Peggy

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

Hello all,
As part of my Master's program in EC-SPED years ago, I did research on children's grief reactions for a course on social-emotional development (Diane Levin was the instructor :<) ) That was in the electric typewriter days and I don't have the paper any more. My topic choice was in part because I experienced the death of a sibling when I was 4 years 10 months old. He died 2 weeks before another sibling (also a brother) was born. I can share personal stories about nightmares about drowning or falling, certain locations that threw me into almost rabid fear reactions, and my anger at my new brother for displacing the old one - irrational for sure, but I was almost 5! It took until I was in my 20s to understand my fears and overcome them, but I would say that this experience shaped my life.

I will also say that one doesn't get back to what was before with a significant death, because life is changed and it can't go back. My brother who died never came back. The parents in your novel won't come back either. It does however move forward with the understanding of the loss, as best as the child can understand it. When the child is old enough to remember (so your 7 week old character isn't likely to remember, but they need to receive responsive, consistent caregiving), the knowledge of the tragedy won't disappear, but it will fade and become accepted if the child is well cared for. Preschoolers need reassurance that they didn't cause the death because of a behavior or misbehavior. Primary grades children may not show grief the way one thinks they 'should' because they may be tamping it down in order to cope, be with friends, forget for the moment, be strong for the younger siblings. Children may never introduce the topic, but that doesn't mean they aren't feeling the loss or feeling emotions they can't understand.

There is no 'normal' way that grief happens for every child. Every person experiencing grief looks and acts uniquely, despite the various stage theories that are out there. But I appreciate that you want to get the themes to be in line with what's known. A couple of good books that incorporate the child's perspective - Jill Krementz, How it Feels When a Parent Dies (interviews with actual children age 7 and up). J. William Wordon's Children and Grief: When a Parent Dies, report of a longitudinal study interviewing children about the death of their parents. Wordon reminds us that the grief reaction changes as the child matures through different developmental stages, something I know about myself as I look back. There is something called the Good Grief Program at the Boston Medical Center (an internet search will bring you to their website) has good tips for helping children deal with grief.

I applaud you for taking up this theme/topic. It's something that needs to be talked about, and is a lot easier to discuss through fiction and BEFORE you are in crisis!
Best wishes,
Dottie Bauer

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver

I am retired, most recently as a community college English professor. Before those years, I was in Early Childhood Education for several years, professionally as the Director of a relatively small preschool that was part of a church's community outreach program. We were one of the programs to be accredited when Accreditation was still very new. I also spent 13 years at home with young children of my own, able to afford the privilege of being an at-home mom by choice. Part of that privilege, for me, was the opportunity to devour every book about child development I could buy or borrow (repeatedly) from the three libraries we frequented. That education is what ultimately qualified me to be the Director of the preschool. This is just to explain why I'm here. My grandson, 15 months old, has revived my desire to find out all I can about child development today. My son spent the first year as an at-home fulltime father. They have a beautiful bond that I love to watch at work.

OK--to my question. I have begun thinking about grief in very young children recently because of some family tragedies I've read about or heard about on the news. I am also a writer, still working to be published, but, hey, I've only been intentionally working at writing every day for a few months. The novel I am working on explores the grief process for the five children (from 9 yrs. to 7 weeks) and the aunt who "inherits" them, reluctantly at first. I've explored children's literature for some outstanding books about grief, some for toddlers and preschoolers. But I am not finding much information about the psychology and sociology of the grief process for toddlers and preschoolers. I want to be certain I am presenting that part of the novel accurately. One of the major characters is a 3 yrs. old boy who is very verbal and intensely emotional. He is having a very hard time figuring out what to do, think, put words to, etc. about the freak accidental death of both parents caused by a grieving drunk driver. The little boy has deep, racking, sobbing "grief attacks," as his aunt calls them, which I want to describe accurately. Do any of you know about any resources (books, articles, etc.) to help me get this done "right." It is fiction, but I don't want to gloss over or present a child's grief process inaccurately. One of the book's themes is the rough and bumpy grief journey one must get through to begin returning to a relatively normal life. I want the novel to carry a realistic and believable experience for the children and their aunt who is totally without parental experience.

Or has anyone worked with grieving children in your daycare setting?

I will of course document any resources I use to educate myself for writing this book. And I will definitely document to this Discussion Board.
Peggy Fish-Oliver