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Behaviors of Children in preschool

  • 1.  Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-21-2021 09:54 PM
    Good Evening! I am curious to find out how many PreSchool and Early Childhood Care Providers and parents of children in PreSchool and early Childhood Care are experiencing disrespectful attitudes from Children? High disrespect towards adults? I have witnessed the tolerance level in children as young as 3 years old.   Is there a collective solution to prevent these habitual behaviors???
    Cynthia J. Reed
    Glenside, PA

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    Cynthia Johnson-Reed
    Glenside PA
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  • 2.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-23-2021 12:48 AM
    Kids today are lacking the teaching from the Bible kids do not know who God is.

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    Julie Bankston
    President/CEO
    Amethyst Long Life Learning Center
    Fort Myers FL
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  • 3.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-23-2021 03:34 AM
    Hi Cynthia could you be more explicit regarding children who have disrespectful attitudes in preschool. Young children are like sponges. Therefore, we as adults should present ourselves as positive role models. As educators we should let the children know that we do not allow that type of behavior in our school. Please give an example of disrespectful behavior.

    Edna Brown
    Lancaster, CA

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    Edna Brown
    Lancaster CA
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  • 4.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-23-2021 09:14 AM

    Good Morning Ms Edna Brown,
         Thank you for your question 🙋🏽‍♀️!
    Disrespectful behavior has been occurring in some preschools with children calling other children and calling ADULTS !!, educator adults out of their names.! Disrespect by not following the rules. One case example  I know of was when an Educator was placed at the daycare as a substitute! I have always heard as a young adult (who never picked up her ID to be a substitute teacher),  that "those kids will eat you up!!!!
    This habitual behavior is coming from 3-5 year olds. 

    .
    Cynthia
    Glenside, Philadelphia area of Pennsylvania 



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    Cynthia Johnson-Reed
    Glenside PA
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  • 5.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-24-2021 10:40 AM
    Are you talking about children whose behaviors indicate developmental problems or are a reflection of growing up in a troubled home???

    On the other hand, how are these environments organized? How are routines developed and consistently enforced? Are these environments developmentally appropriate for the particular age group? Are the adults respectful to the children? Have the parents been consulted?

    There are so many questions that need to be explored here.

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    Nora Krieger, PhD
    Associate Professor Emerita/Past Chair NJEEPRE
    Bloomfield College/NJ Educators Exploring the Practices of Reggio Emilia
    Highland Park, NJ
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  • 6.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-25-2021 08:01 AM
    I am taking into consideration that children have been out of the social interaction arena for 19 months and this is the reason for such an outbreak of behavioral concerns.  We are trying everything I find myself being more of a social worker support for my team all through the building.
    All ages are acting out I do agree that some are in need of professional support and some are copying.

    If you are someone who can guide us to a support team please suggest. I think all programs are experiencing behavioral issues among students.


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    Avissa Beek Peniston
    Executive Director
    Neighborhood CCC
    Montclair NJ
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  • 7.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-26-2021 09:26 AM
    I saw aggressive behavior and lots of scream in the crying mainly in my 1 and 2 year old's. Those children did not socialize or go on errands with the parents. They are afraid. We gave those children extra attention and love until they felt safe and loved. All back to normal now. Give them time and attention. Imagine how they feel when being dropped off in a classroom setting with new faces of teachers and children when they have been in their home for so long. They need time to adjust.

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    Christine Saliba
    Palmer Catholic Academy Preschool
    Ponte Vedra FL
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  • 8.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-25-2021 10:34 AM
    I have even more concerns here than Nora's. Has this center had much recent training? We don't discipline children any more, not any form of punishment including any form of "time out" spaces. What age are these children? Even if they are all five, teaching them with words is not a successful-over-time approach. Children need to learn manners from modeling and reinforcement. Being upset with them is not a good model. Your group needs to learn some things about the children's brains. Their behaviors, as Nora points out, are the products of what they have already learned. They need to be loved, understood, and treated with behavior that is a good model for them.

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    Jack Wright
    Child Development Consultant
    Success With Children
    St Ignatius MT
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  • 9.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-25-2021 11:43 AM

    Hi all, and Nora, thanks for stepping in and flagging the tone of this thread; it is unusual for this forum. I think it reflects a level of frustration as well as different cultural assumptions and expectations about child rearing.

    I can sympathize with the unpleasant feeling of being treated rudely by the children in a classroom, and also the frustration I felt when my own child was rude to me.

    I read a very interesting book about dealing with teens (a period often seen as a recap of the early years with added terrors,) I'd Listen to My Parents If They'd Just Shut Up: What to Say and Not Say When Parenting Teens, by Anthony Wolf. This author did not shy away from a basic issue: once you decide to stop hitting children, you remove a level of fear from the relationship, in turn, children may behave more rudely. The book is about developing new and better skills, and he really emphasizes playing the long game. Most children who are not hit, do in fact grow up to be respectful, kind, helpful adults. (I hope that the statics of poor outcomes from hitting as a method of discipline speak for themselves.)

    It was important for me to hear that my experience was normal, my frustration was part of the learning curve, and that I was able to gain the skills to turn this situation around.

    Let's validate the adult frustration at being treated rudely and know that improved behavior will take time both for the child to grow and learn, and for the adult to learn and practice different skills.

    If the rude behavior is extreme, and not simply about the child/ren needing time to learn expectations around communication styles, I would reflect on the basic premise that any behavior is a form of communication. What is the child seeking by using this behavior? Perhaps they need attention? It may feel irritating, as if you are rewarding bad behavior by giving it attention, but the need will have to be answered in some meaningful way or it will persist and become worse. As we have all experienced, a child who needs attention will accept your angry attention and demand more of it when they aren't able to get positive attention.



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    Karen Lefkovitz
    Independent Consultant
    Philadelphia PA
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  • 10.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-26-2021 06:25 AM
    Words of wisdom Julie!!! Thanks for that response!!!

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    Cynthia Johnson-Reed
    Glenside PA
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  • 11.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-23-2021 06:24 PM
    I have witnessed disrespect for children in my class that I work in. We use what is called conscious discipline where we take them to a safe  cube and explain to them how to speak respectfully to others. we ask them why they are feeling the way they do.



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    Millie Pickelmann
    Teacher Aide
    Head Start
    Germfask MI
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  • 12.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-24-2021 12:46 AM
    Thanks Cynthia for clarifying what you meant by using the term disrespectful.  Where I came from we called it being rude. Training and respect begin at home. As well as at an early age. Certainly, I agree with you. Also some children will take advantage of a substitute teacher. I have seen that happen. Thanks for your reply to my question.

    Edna Brown,
    Lancaster, CA

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    Edna Brown
    Lancaster CA
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  • 13.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-25-2021 03:49 AM
    My question us why so many children have mental health issues is it because we take the behaviors and turn them into mental health issues?

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    Julie Bankston
    President/CEO
    Amethyst Long Life Learning Center
    Fort Myers FL
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  • 14.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-25-2021 10:17 AM
    Dear Julie Ann Bankston:

    I suggest reading this article from The Responsive Classroom even though it does not specifically reference 3 and 4 year olds.
    https://www.responsiveclassroom.org/redefining-student-success/?utm_campaign=Friday%20FUNdamentals&utm_medium=email&_hsmi=173712008&_hsenc=p2ANqtz--qUbzrAiG5E4MdKoSIgvfU4sn_GskT3UnbR_kajtmAUZKwpYaULJVfnpsGJyGuse0n19ooc05Bp26x17WGGjAQzrAAKg&utm_content=173716200&utm_source=hs_email

    In addition, I suggest that a review of child development trajectories and characteristics in the various developmental domains at these ages. Do not come at this topic from the perspective of an adult. And, yes, some of these behaviors may reflect developmental issues and reactions due to the Pandemic's ravages on all of us.

    If you suspect that there are developmental issues, the parents must be brought in as your partner (not as your adversary), brought in with empathy because you understand what this means to a family to process. Do not come to any conclusions before your concerns are fully confirmed. What you want to do is speak with empathy to families, describing the behaviors that you observed and how you have tried to work with their child (hopefully, in a DAP way). Find out if there is something going on at home that may be impacting their child's behavior. Then, hopefully, you will be able to bring the family along to understand the need for outside help to see what is going on if necessary.

    As for others who have written in this space, let us not forget that we are working as educators and caregivers, no matter what age child with whom we work. The younger the child, the greater the "care" role in the sense that we are in many ways you are that child's substitute mom while in your classroom. Remember also that children grow up under varying circumstances and stresses, which we all must seek to understand and interpret in order to deal with the exhibited behaviors appropriately.

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    Nora Krieger, PhD
    Associate Professor Emerita/Past Chair NJEEPRE
    Bloomfield College/NJ Educators Exploring the Practices of Reggio Emilia
    Highland Park, NJ
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  • 15.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-25-2021 10:21 AM
    Thank you for the information I will look it up

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    Julie Bankston
    President/CEO
    Amethyst Long Life Learning Center
    Fort Myers FL
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  • 16.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-24-2021 06:19 PM

    Hi Cynthia,
    it sounds like you are referring to social skills. I think it would be helpful to recall the different ways that children learn social skills in order to brainstorm the best approach...
    1. We know that children can learn social skills through modeling. I learned as a provider in my home that the children will speak to me exactly as I speak to them - they can hold up a mirror for us to see and hear ourselves. From then on I was extremely intentional about my choice of words and tried to phrase my communication in the way I prefer to be spoken to. It was an incredible experience for the children as well as myself.
    2. Another way children learn social skills is by testing theories about what kind of responses result from certain words or behaviors - they are the original behavioral scientists studying us as well as other children all the time. When we are trying to change children's behavior we first have to change our own behavior. Children's brains have an incredible capacity for change and can usually do it in about two weeks as long as the adults are consistent. As adults our brains can still change but we have to work much harder than children do. Sometimes it takes so long for children's behaviors to change because the adults keep doing the same unhelpful behaviors in response to children's serves!
    3. Some children have sensory processing challenges and the two approaches above may not be enough for them. They will need explicit instruction on appropriate responses. Sometimes all it takes is assuming their intention to connect or ask for space when they say something that we perceive as disrespectful and providing them a more pro-social phrase to replace it. For example if a child shouts, "Go away! I don't want to talk to you!" You can offer, "If you want me to go away you can say, 'I need some space, please.' Want to practice? Here, I'll pretend I don't know you want me to go away and you can say, 'I need some space.'" If you actually walk away when they say that then they will get the result they want and you will start to hear "I need space" instead of "Go away!". If a child doesn't greet people who speak to them then they may need some coaching for serve and return conversations. No matter which strategies you employ with children who need more refined coaching for social skills you must first establish trust with the child. No one will accept guidance from someone they don't trust.
    I do think Nora's questions are worth considering in terms of classroom culture and the teacher's intention for cultivating a community atmosphere: "How are these environments organized? How are routines developed and consistently enforced? Are these environments developmentally appropriate for the particular age group? Are the adults respectful to the children? Have the parents been consulted?" I would add, have the teachers met to discuss some common values that they have for the learning community? Have the children been invited to help determine the social agreements in the classroom? If not, I recommend starting here.
    I'm curious to hear about any strategies that you try and how it goes!
    Sincerely,
    Lauren



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    Lauren Stauble
    Consultant/Faculty/ECE Admin
    Boston, MA
    feelthinkconnect.com
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  • 17.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-26-2021 06:24 AM
    Thank you Lauren for your informative response !!!

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    Cynthia Johnson-Reed
    Glenside PA
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  • 18.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-26-2021 09:51 AM

    Hi Everyone.

    There is so much that does influence children's behaviors - families under stress, uncertainty over "the big germ" (what many children call COVID), and greater reliance on television and media for entertainment at home, rather than opportunities for genuine play. Many of the behaviors we observe in classrooms are reactive.
    These are times for educators to use consistency in routines and trauma informed practices, including monitoring the level of challenge and stimulation needed for each child, and modeling/supporting calming and soothing activities and interactions. This also includes helping children learn to express and manage feelings and teaching them how to get help and support when needed.

    Adults have to check their own emotional responses to children and intentionally offer a safe, steady, consistent set of responses - using authentic co-regulation and support for skills, along with real redirection. I say "real" related to redirection, because the classroom must have meaningful and relevant materials and activities prepared that are genuinely engaging and appropriately challenging for children to be redirected "to."  In order to redirect, there must be something children are genuinely interested in doing - materials and learning activities to explore that match their skills and interests.

    In the observation work of my team, we often (even usually) see classrooms without adequate verbal and cognitive challenge, and without fine motor and gross motor activities that are individualized to adequately challenge and engage children. During COVID, many classrooms have cut back on the number and type of materials available and limited/restricted play. Many have removed soft materials and soft, welcoming spaces, which truly provide safety and comfort for children in group settings.

    In addition, teachers need to evaluate the spaces and materials to see how children use them and whether these support the type of play in which children engage. And during play, teachers must observe carefully and look for children that are not engaged and seek to involve them in ways that they can be successful. Teachers can move towards revising their book area and book collections and spend individual time reading to children books that are engaging and meaningful - and then extending those themes and characters and activities/props into dramatic play. This takes time and planning. And we all recognize that this is challenging.

    This is such a difficult time for everyone. It requires determination and knowledge to reorient the classroom spaces and learning goals so that children can engage in what we call "joyful learning." My heart goes out to teachers, families, and to the children as they navigate these challenging times. There are so many wonderful resources available through NAEYC that can offer practical ideas. I'm sending a shout out to all the teachers that are making the classroom work for children during an uncertain and often unsettling time. 



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    Marie Masterson
    McCormick Center for Early Childhood Leadership
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  • 19.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-24-2021 07:26 PM
    I am both a teacher of prescchool aged children and a parent to a preschooler. In recent years the level of disrespectful attitudes and actions has definitely increased. I have noticed it come from children of all demographics and backgrounds. The usual tactics of calm down/time out spaces, notes and phone calls home do not seem to phase the majority of the children anymore and from my experience it is because more and more families gave reverted back to the mindset that childcare and early educators are just babysitting and not places of learning and development. Therefore the family members are disregarding concerns and comments made about the children's behaviors. I feel the mindset of educators has also shifted to being less important than district educators. We need to change the mindset and remind educators and families that we are teaching and the childcare center is a school learning environment, not just some place to keep children while families are busy else where.

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    Diane Wood
    Carbondale PA
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  • 20.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-26-2021 06:27 AM
    Diane!, thank you for your informative response!!

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    Cynthia Johnson-Reed
    Glenside PA
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  • 21.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-25-2021 11:33 AM

    Hello,
    There are a number of factors that could be leading to a child's behavior, both positive and challenging at times. It's important to communicate with families, the observations being made and to collaborate in strategies that work for that specific child and their family. NAEYC has a few resources that might help in explaining those strategies and implementing them in the classroom and at home. I look forward to seeing other resources from members that can help guide in redirecting these challenging behaviors.



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    Mary Samour
    Online Community Manager
    National Association for the Education of Young Children
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  • 22.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-26-2021 06:30 AM
    Thank you Mary!!!

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    Cynthia Johnson-Reed
    Glenside PA
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  • 23.  RE: Behaviors of Children in preschool

    Posted 10-26-2021 06:41 AM
    Actually everyone who responded supplied great information!!! The information proves to be very helpful to children whether in the classroom or not. And yes the 19 months of COVID lock down have taken the world to a new normal. We all have to have a new way of doing things! Appreciate all your info!

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    Cynthia Johnson-Reed
    Glenside PA
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