Open Discussion Forum

  • 1.  Child Behavior

    Posted 02-20-2019 03:29 PM
    Hello!
    I am writing to get feedback on a child who is currently in my preschool program. She is 5 years old, almost 6, and displays daily behavior that is disruptive to our classroom environment. This child resists when we ask her to wash her hands, use the bathroom, etc... but we only ask at time when other children are- for example when we are washing hands to get ready for morning snack, she says NO and then whines at the end after everyone has washed their hands, saying that she hasn't gotten a chance to yet. 

    Anytime my co-teacher and I announce that a transition is coming, she resists, screaming, crying, yelling- "time to put books away", "time to go inside", "time to go outside" there is a constant battle and struggle.

    We give her a heads up as to when the transitions are coming "in 5 minutes we will be cleaning up"... 
    We have also worked with her to come up with strategies for when she is upset, ways she can manage herself that is safe for her and the other children in the classroom.

    I don't feel supported by her family- she has 2 homes, and her mother hasn't allowed us to talk with her play therapist about anything. 

    I'm looking for resources my co-teacher and I can read about to better serve this child, while being fair to her and the other children in our care.

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    Kasia Beznoska
    Director/Head Teacher
    Little Swans Preschool
    Sanbornton NH
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  • 2.  RE: Child Behavior

    Posted 02-20-2019 03:45 PM
    Has mom given a reason for not wanting you to speak with the play therapist? That would probably be the best way to work out exactly what is happening. Maybe you can ask for a meeting with all three of you? Maybe mom is afraid of being left out of the loop where her child is concerned?

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    Temesha (Ms. Tessie) Ragan
    Family Child Care IF Facilitator
    Perfect Start Learning
    Family Child Care Provider
    Edwards, CA
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    Original Message


  • 3.  RE: Child Behavior

    Posted 02-21-2019 09:48 AM
    Hi Kasia,
    sounds like you have your hands full and are trying your best for this student. It's hard to say what might work best without actually seeing the situation.There are a lot of issues that could be driving her anxieties and behaviors. One addition to the "heads up" you are already giving her is simple picture cards. Try posting a visual calendar  for the whole class, and using smaller picture cards in a flip book when you are speaking to her about the schedule. Sometimes children can focus on picture cues easier than verbal directions in classroom setting with so much to process. Also, whatever pattern you choose, be consistent!  Make one or 2 changes, and then stick with them, gently but firmly, for at least a week if not longer, before you try another tactic.  For example, you decide she will be the last one to wash her hands, give her a visual and verbal heads up at the beginning of hand washing, another just a couple kids before her turn, and then when it is her turn, tell her,"we always wash hands before snack.  now it is your turn to wash hands" and show her visual cue, take her to wash hands. Don't change the pattern just because she whines or cries, but don't fuss at her for it either. If she really refuses to wash hands, try a wipe instead. Whatever you pick, give it time. Children really need consistency. Hope this helps.

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    Margro Purple
    Rockville MD
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    Original Message


  • 4.  RE: Child Behavior

    Posted 02-21-2019 01:41 PM
    Kasia, below I have listed questions I would be asking myself (and my co-teachers, and likely others at the center) if she were in my classroom.  Please know that I expect you have already thought of many of these but...just in case...  :-}.....here you are!

    1.  How new is she to my program (is that a factor?  Am I expecting too much from her too soon?  Or is this new behavior)?
    2.  What trauma has this child experienced that leads her to respond in these ways?  Am I showing empathy to her?
    3.  How is my relationship with this child?  Does she trust me?  How might I build our relationship?  Does she need something more from me? 
    4.  What answers would she have if I asked her what would help her with the handwashing situation or with transitions?  Could we come up with things to try that SHE thinks of?  Does she need more control over herself and/or her day?
    5.  Who could I have (someone objective) observe over several different activities/days to see things I may not be seeing, such as how I am responding to this child, and if I am treating her differently than the other children, and am I treating her equitably (does she seem to need more patience, more time, or something else that the other children don't seem to need that we might provide to her to make it better for her)?  
    6.  Is there something in my environment that is making things difficult for this child (again an objective observer may be able to see this when I cannot)?

    I tend not to see patterns in behavior, and my co-teacher was often able to point things out to me that I couldn't see myself when I was deeply engaged with the children.  I wonder if your answers to the above questions will match those of your co-teacher.  I hope there is something here that might be helpful to you, Kasia, in this challenging situation.  Please keep talking to us as you try different things.  Andrea

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    Andrea Dekker
    Technical Assistant
    Quality First Redesign (QIRS)
    Tucson AZ
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    Original Message


  • 5.  RE: Child Behavior

    Posted 02-21-2019 07:41 PM
    I have a child who recently joined my class that exhibits behavior similar to what you are describing.  (He is 4 1/2, very bright, resists transitions and can be very volatile, attempts to hit me,  I don't see any signs of him being on the spectrum and the child had no history of trauma)  We have a long ways to go but here i what  I've done so far that has been effective. 

    I requested a conference with the parents (not the play therapist).  I asked them to meet so we could share information to together.  I prepped that I would share my observations and they share what the play therapist is recommending and how it is going at home..  I began the conference with a list of 10 strengths I saw in their child with some very specific examples.  Next I asked them to share why they had sought out a play therapist, what the therapist was recommending and what they were doing at home.  Luckily, I had the same concerns that the therapist did that this child felt that he needed to always be in control.  We needed to give him opportunities when he could be in control and learn that there were times that adults could be in control. Conference took 20 minute and was invaluable. 

    Transitions - I give a 5 minute class notice,  1 minute personal reminder to him (kind touch or getting at his eye level). I also flex my transition times by what he and other children are doing (who wants to begin clean up when two children just sat down to do art?).   When I begin the transition, I am always close to him to praise his efforts (or to walk away if he turns to protesting and focus my attention on others).   While I announce it's clean up time, I sing what we'll be doing next-  going to the playground, eating snack etc- basically something to look forward to. 

    I try to focus on moving things along rather than focusing when he is delaying cleaning up or not joining us in line but if I keep moving along he hurries up and joins us. (It did take one time of us walking out of the class without him.... of course pre-planned with an aide in the hallway to oversee him.

    Finally, I'm spending lots of positive time with him when he is playing well.  Praising him in front of the other children.  Today he told his Mom,  these kids love me and I love Mrs.....

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    Kathy Carver
    Teacher
    Rainbow Connection Preschool
    Plano TX
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    Original Message