Open Discussion Forum

If I had a dollar for every time a parent has told me, "He's mature for his age" I could solve our State's budget deficit single-handed. It doesn't matter if it's a parent wanting his child to start Little League early, enter pre-school a year early, or even advance from the church nursery to a standard classroom six months early, there is a constant push, push, pushing kids ahead.  How do we combat (yes, combat) this?

As a home visitor I've tried to have questions like, "What type of messages are you getting about this subject?" or "Are you getting pressure from friends and family members to sign him up for this?" I even say, "Let's look at his milestones and see if he's met all them before moving on to other skills." As a pre-school teacher I just said, "I'm sorry but our entrance policy is firm" but families always found another preschool that took them early.

And this trend is continuing even out of the first years of life.  We dress night year old girls in short skirts and makeup. My 14 year old told me that he gets asked all the time about his plans for college and a career and then asked if he was suppose to have all that figured out by now. 

How do we help parents and other adults understand that's it's okay to be normal, to be exactly the age a child is?  Any ideas?  For example, tomorrow I'm taking an info graphic from readingrockets.org that explains that there are many steps of phonological awareness before learning letter sounds to a family who is using flashcards with a 2.5 year old to start teaching him to read. 

Thanks!

------------------------------
Heather Foxworthy
Parent Educator
Kodiak AK
------------------------------

You're absolutely right, Heather.  Parents and children are inundated with media discouraging the joys of childhood – of letting kids be kids and letting parents appreciate each stage of their child's life.  There is no rush.  And there are reasons for all the research on child development.

About the flash cards – here are some things I tell parents about how to develop their little ones' literacy and cognitive skills:

Babies and toddlers can't read. Reading is a complex process, and it is cognitively demanding. Babies do not have the cognitive skills to actually read, and there is no indication that holding flash cards up for your baby will accelerate her ability to read. Babies can be trained to clap their hands when they see the word CLAP on a card, and it's great to have the attention of a parent while playing this kind of game together, as long as it's fun. Babies do not have the phonemic awareness, knowledge of the alphabet, vocabulary or sentence structure to actually read. It is entirely possible, though, that parents who use such programs also spend a lot of time playing with and talking with their babies – and that is the best indicator of a child's success in language learning, the necessary prerequisite to reading.

When babies hear interesting language and get an opportunity to interact linguistically with others, they develop better vocabularies, grammar, and other linguistic and cognitive skills. These skills then support their efforts in becoming good readers and writers as soon as they are cognitively ready to do so. But since children notice all ways that written language is used in their environment, it is important to model using reading and writing in different ways each day. Toddlers will notice this and will eventually want to begin reading and writing themselves.  Parents can write notes to each other, use sticky notes to remember things, make grocery lists, send email, type computer searches, compose Word documents and print them out. When there are so many instances of adults and older siblings writing and typing, children enter school already motivated to learn how to do this. Pencils, markers, keyboards and pens are tools that your child will be excited to use.

Young children need love, attention, conversation and modeling – not flash cards and insistent parents.

I hope this helps a little, Heather!

Tara
Author, The Joy of Language: The Guide to Language and Literacy for Parents and Caregivers

------------------------------
Tara Tuck
Owner/Author
The Joy of Language
Marco Island FL
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 02-19-2019 01:36 AM
From: Heather Foxworthy
Subject: If I had a dollar...

If I had a dollar for every time a parent has told me, "He's mature for his age" I could solve our State's budget deficit single-handed. It doesn't matter if it's a parent wanting his child to start Little League early, enter pre-school a year early, or even advance from the church nursery to a standard classroom six months early, there is a constant push, push, pushing kids ahead.  How do we combat (yes, combat) this?

As a home visitor I've tried to have questions like, "What type of messages are you getting about this subject?" or "Are you getting pressure from friends and family members to sign him up for this?" I even say, "Let's look at his milestones and see if he's met all them before moving on to other skills." As a pre-school teacher I just said, "I'm sorry but our entrance policy is firm" but families always found another preschool that took them early.

And this trend is continuing even out of the first years of life.  We dress night year old girls in short skirts and makeup. My 14 year old told me that he gets asked all the time about his plans for college and a career and then asked if he was suppose to have all that figured out by now.

How do we help parents and other adults understand that's it's okay to be normal, to be exactly the age a child is?  Any ideas?  For example, tomorrow I'm taking an info graphic from readingrockets.org that explains that there are many steps of phonological awareness before learning letter sounds to a family who is using flashcards with a 2.5 year old to start teaching him to read.

Thanks!

------------------------------
Heather Foxworthy
Parent Educator
Kodiak AK
------------------------------

A very good book to I recommend to those who are willing to read it:

"The Hurried Child"  by David Elkind.  

Great saying:  Childhood should be a journey, not a race.


I think that many parents have been programmed by our competitive culture, and tend to compete with their kids without even realizing what they are doing.  

Also, I think that it is natural for parents to be impressed with the learning that takes place in their toddler.  Those who have not been around toddlers very much until their parenting experience could easily interpret a typical toddler's learning ability as genius!

Those young children placed on the "fast track" at an early age often have not built a strong foundation in the emotional and social domains of development.  They are at risk for crumbling later in life, typically the teen years, because their foundation was weak.  





------------------------------
Elizabeth Werner
Blessed Beginnings
Cody WY
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 02-19-2019 01:36 AM
From: Heather Foxworthy
Subject: If I had a dollar...

If I had a dollar for every time a parent has told me, "He's mature for his age" I could solve our State's budget deficit single-handed. It doesn't matter if it's a parent wanting his child to start Little League early, enter pre-school a year early, or even advance from the church nursery to a standard classroom six months early, there is a constant push, push, pushing kids ahead.  How do we combat (yes, combat) this?

As a home visitor I've tried to have questions like, "What type of messages are you getting about this subject?" or "Are you getting pressure from friends and family members to sign him up for this?" I even say, "Let's look at his milestones and see if he's met all them before moving on to other skills." As a pre-school teacher I just said, "I'm sorry but our entrance policy is firm" but families always found another preschool that took them early.

And this trend is continuing even out of the first years of life.  We dress night year old girls in short skirts and makeup. My 14 year old told me that he gets asked all the time about his plans for college and a career and then asked if he was suppose to have all that figured out by now.

How do we help parents and other adults understand that's it's okay to be normal, to be exactly the age a child is?  Any ideas?  For example, tomorrow I'm taking an info graphic from readingrockets.org that explains that there are many steps of phonological awareness before learning letter sounds to a family who is using flashcards with a 2.5 year old to start teaching him to read.

Thanks!

------------------------------
Heather Foxworthy
Parent Educator
Kodiak AK
------------------------------

Thank you for the book recommendations; I have requested them through inter-library loan.  I'm also thinking of hosting a showing of "Won't You Be My Neighbor" either here at our center or at our church.  Who is a better example of the benefits of slowing down than Fred Rogers?

------------------------------
Heather Foxworthy
Parent Educator
Parents as Teachers
Kodiak AK
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 02-20-2019 01:20 PM
From: Elizabeth Werner
Subject: If I had a dollar...

A very good book to I recommend to those who are willing to read it:

"The Hurried Child"  by David Elkind.

Great saying:  Childhood should be a journey, not a race.


I think that many parents have been programmed by our competitive culture, and tend to compete with their kids without even realizing what they are doing.

Also, I think that it is natural for parents to be impressed with the learning that takes place in their toddler.  Those who have not been around toddlers very much until their parenting experience could easily interpret a typical toddler's learning ability as genius!

Those young children placed on the "fast track" at an early age often have not built a strong foundation in the emotional and social domains of development.  They are at risk for crumbling later in life, typically the teen years, because their foundation was weak.





------------------------------
Elizabeth Werner
Blessed Beginnings
Cody WY

Original Message:
Sent: 02-19-2019 01:36 AM
From: Heather Foxworthy
Subject: If I had a dollar...

If I had a dollar for every time a parent has told me, "He's mature for his age" I could solve our State's budget deficit single-handed. It doesn't matter if it's a parent wanting his child to start Little League early, enter pre-school a year early, or even advance from the church nursery to a standard classroom six months early, there is a constant push, push, pushing kids ahead.  How do we combat (yes, combat) this?

As a home visitor I've tried to have questions like, "What type of messages are you getting about this subject?" or "Are you getting pressure from friends and family members to sign him up for this?" I even say, "Let's look at his milestones and see if he's met all them before moving on to other skills." As a pre-school teacher I just said, "I'm sorry but our entrance policy is firm" but families always found another preschool that took them early.

And this trend is continuing even out of the first years of life.  We dress night year old girls in short skirts and makeup. My 14 year old told me that he gets asked all the time about his plans for college and a career and then asked if he was suppose to have all that figured out by now.

How do we help parents and other adults understand that's it's okay to be normal, to be exactly the age a child is?  Any ideas?  For example, tomorrow I'm taking an info graphic from readingrockets.org that explains that there are many steps of phonological awareness before learning letter sounds to a family who is using flashcards with a 2.5 year old to start teaching him to read.

Thanks!

------------------------------
Heather Foxworthy
Parent Educator
Kodiak AK
------------------------------

I run my preschool program with ages 2-5. But one of the things I stress with the parents is that everything I do is based on the individual child. I let them know the standard age of reading, math and writing. And let them know if their child shows me that they are ready then I will introduce the skill. I do take children who are not potty trained, because I feel some children are ready to interact with other children on a daily basis away from parents, they just are not interested in potty training. I do not run into many parents who argue with my methods once they understand that their child is old enough for my program because I start at 2, it does not mean I am forcing them to do anything they are not ready to do just to compete with other children or their friends.

------------------------------
Temesha (Ms. Tessie) Ragan
Family Child Care IF Facilitator
Perfect Start Learning
Family Child Care Provider
Edwards, CA
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 02-19-2019 01:36 AM
From: Heather Foxworthy
Subject: If I had a dollar...

If I had a dollar for every time a parent has told me, "He's mature for his age" I could solve our State's budget deficit single-handed. It doesn't matter if it's a parent wanting his child to start Little League early, enter pre-school a year early, or even advance from the church nursery to a standard classroom six months early, there is a constant push, push, pushing kids ahead.  How do we combat (yes, combat) this?

As a home visitor I've tried to have questions like, "What type of messages are you getting about this subject?" or "Are you getting pressure from friends and family members to sign him up for this?" I even say, "Let's look at his milestones and see if he's met all them before moving on to other skills." As a pre-school teacher I just said, "I'm sorry but our entrance policy is firm" but families always found another preschool that took them early.

And this trend is continuing even out of the first years of life.  We dress night year old girls in short skirts and makeup. My 14 year old told me that he gets asked all the time about his plans for college and a career and then asked if he was suppose to have all that figured out by now.

How do we help parents and other adults understand that's it's okay to be normal, to be exactly the age a child is?  Any ideas?  For example, tomorrow I'm taking an info graphic from readingrockets.org that explains that there are many steps of phonological awareness before learning letter sounds to a family who is using flashcards with a 2.5 year old to start teaching him to read.

Thanks!

------------------------------
Heather Foxworthy
Parent Educator
Kodiak AK
------------------------------