Open Discussion Forum

  • 1.  END OF PUNISHMENT

    Posted 06-01-2018 09:53 AM

    The reason punishing children is so difficult to stop is because it works. There is a great deal of evidence for this data. Every time I suggest to someone that spanking a child must stop, I hear that they had stopped even dangerous behaviors with a spanking. Years ago I was one of the psychologists advising parents in the correct way to hit their children: with their hand, no more than three times, and not in anger. I was wrong, but I have learned more about the brains of children and how they learn good behaviors.

    There are two primary reasons why spanking, even though it works, still isn't good childcare. Any form of punishment can, with practice, damage a child's sense of worthwhileness. Having a sense of being a good person helps all of us choose good behaviors. Of even more importance, learning to stop a behavior out of fear of a punisher isn't adequate for stopping negative or dangerous behaviors when the child is not with the punisher.

    It takes more time, but keeping a child calm so that their brain works for thinking more than for fight or flight allows for the thinking that they can apply to situations on their own. Current studies of the brain have made this approach to changing behaviors clear. We can't change overnight, but thinking about this information, without self-punishment, will achieve this important change.



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    Jack Wright
    Success With Children
    St Ignatius MT
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