Open Discussion Forum

  • 1.  Children refusing & not following expectations

    Posted 01-13-2019 09:29 PM
    Hello,
    I am the head-teacher at Mountain Kids Preschool. We just opened a new class for ages 3-5 (although one child is 2 years old). There are 8 children total in the class and 6 are new as of last week. It has been VERY challenging to help them follow the routine and expectations in the classroom. When I say something like, "ok, we are going to sit at the rug for a story," one child refuses and says, "no!!!" And wants to keep playing with the toys. (Same thing with any transition really). What can I do or say? Is there a developmentally appropriate "consequence?" I have said, "if we want to do fun things in school, we need to follow the rules." She barley looks at me and just can't seem to stop whatever she is doing.

    Then during story time they all want to be up and playing with the toys. Which I understand that it is not developmentally appropriate to have young children sit. I am only asking for about 5 minutes. I know I can do some gross motor movement with them during this time, but I feel it will be hard to have them sit back down on the rug afterwards.

    This class has 8 children and one teacher. I am at a loss. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you!

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    Lacey
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  • 2.  RE: Children refusing & not following expectations

    Posted 01-14-2019 08:32 AM

    Greetings, 

    Thanks for teaching Ms. Session. 

    Are you prepping the children before transitions? Meaning are you giving kids notices before you change activity? Things that work really well with your age group, times (it can simply be countdown that you write on white board or smartboard), then as you are transitioning a song: 

    Come on everybody it's clean up time, clean up time clean up time, come on everyone it's clean up time in Ms Sessions class?

    Come on everybody it's circle time, circle time....
    Come on everybody it's work time, work time...

    You can literally sing the same melody with instructions. 

    Also do you have some cool things (favorable items) to show case when starting new activity. Have every activity start with an opportunity to blow bubbles, say hello to a puppet....

    Try these tips, let us know what happens. 

    Cheers, 

    Lark



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    Lark Sontag
    MA, Early Childhood Education
    Alumna Pacific Oaks College
    Trainer, Adjunct Early Childhood Education Faculty, and Early Childhood Education contributor to 30seconds
    New York Metro
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  • 3.  RE: Children refusing & not following expectations

    Posted 01-14-2019 08:43 AM

    Greetings, 

    Also if it is one child in particular, try to find out what is motivator. Send a survey to parents and use favorable items to support the child in following directions. 

    Also a visual schedule of what is happening during the day.

    If the child (or children are) is neurologically typical, this will probably be very effective at encouraging appropriate behavior. 

    Some little ones really aren't use to a schedule or just have a hard time transitioning from something fun, like I have a hard time transitioning off social media...lol

    Cheers, 

    Lark



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    Lark Sontag
    MA, Early Childhood Education
    Alumna Pacific Oaks College
    Trainer, Adjunct Early Childhood Education Faculty, and Early Childhood Education contributor to 30seconds
    New York Metro
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  • 4.  RE: Children refusing & not following expectations

    Posted 01-15-2019 06:21 AM
    Hi Lacey,
    sounds like you are doing your best to stay positive and developmentally appropriate. 8:1 is a difficult ratio- any chance you can get an extra hand during transitions until the class is settled in routines? I love the suggestions of using reminders/ prompts before the transitions, and songs as guides during the transitions. If you can start circle time with something fun and eye catching, it might take some of the work off you. Most teachers love books, most children do too- but for some kids this age, "book time" has already become a struggle or chore. An activity like "Whoops! Johnny" where you say a child's name as you touch each finger tip on one hand (starting at the pinky, palm held facing children), and let your finger slide down the gap between the pointer and thumb, saying whoops!- like your counting finger slipped down a slide.... probably online if you are unfamiliar. Anyway, anything where each child's name gets called out for fun, is very enticing to this age.  A puppet helper is great too.  Try starting circle time before your "refuser" comes to sit if possible, and, quite likely, if you pick a fun name song like this, that child will come over willingly to be part of the action. If the "refuser" is "slow to warm" temperament, s/he may just need a little extra time to switch activities.  Try to build a positive relationship during nontransition times, and see if giving her/him a task they can be in charge at circle time beginning, like holding a flag for pledge, or setting out mats helps. Try not to use the "enticement" as a reward to be withheld for noncompliance, that can lead to power struggles. Instead of saying,  "I can't/won't call your name if you don't sit down" try " You need to sit down so you can hear when I call your name." 
    Also, if your "refuser" has other reasons for not coming to the group, like being shy or anxious of a big group, dual language learner, etc.,  sometimes it's okay for a child to listen to circle activities from a little distance until they are ready... Hope some of these suggestions help, hang in there and great job reaching out for help and support!

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    Margro Purple
    Rockville MD
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  • 5.  RE: Children refusing & not following expectations

    Posted 01-15-2019 08:39 AM
    A big 'Yes' to all of the suggestions made so far!  Also, it sounds as if many of these children are new to group care.  Having to stop play and sit in a circle probably makes no sense to them.  I encourage you to see it from the child's perspective and realize that they're in a whole new country, are slowly figuring it out, and are doing the best that they can.  Good luck with this challenge.

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    Aren Stone
    Child Development Specialist
    The Early Years Project
    Cambridge, MA
    she/her
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  • 6.  RE: Children refusing & not following expectations

    Posted 01-15-2019 10:12 AM
    There are some good suggestions here. One thought I had was that you have a mixed age group. They are not all at the same developmental level. Threes are just starting to be able to sit in a circle and <g class="gr_ gr_351 gr-alert gr_spell gr_inline_cards gr_run_anim ContextualSpelling multiReplace" id="351" data-gr-id="351">two year olds</g> often wander after a very short time sitting. This does not always mean that they are not listening to what is going on in the circle. 

    As others have already said, if these children are new to living in a group, they may need more time acclimating. How you do this is very important. Also, repetition of the expectations is important but just as important is understanding that this age group cannot and therefore should not be sitting or long periods of time in a group.

    A last thought: If you want children to do something, do not state it in a way that implies they have a choice. If you do, they will decide whether to comply or not. Don't start with "okay" or anything like "I think it is time for us to have lunch". If you want them to follow you, you need to state what you want: Everyone come to the carpet now for storytime. Also, using music or a song for them to sing as they follow what you want them to do is helpful.

    Another person suggested a visual schedule so that you can bring the children's attention to what is coming next visually as well as saying it.

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    Nora Krieger
    Associate Professor Emerita/ Chair NJEEPRE
    Bloomfield College/ New Jersey Educators Exploring the Practices of Reggio Emilia
    Highland Park NJ
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  • 7.  RE: Children refusing & not following expectations

    Posted 01-15-2019 12:22 PM
    ​Hello! In reading your situation the feedback has been great! might I add that don't stress yourself if you don't need too. When you have a child who is content to play with toys, away from the group, let them. You did not state the age of the child, if that child is 2 years then bring your expectations down, it is not imperative that every child sit still thru a book reading. Most teachers make the mistake of placing higher expectations than is necessary on children before they are ready. For your mixed group only the 5 year olds may be mature enough to sit. Even then trial and error is the order of the day for you. Once you see that is not working, and you've lost the group, switch it up. Let them have that free play, as long as everyone is engaged in something then its alright.  Learn to go by the interests of your children and what times they are most accommodating. They may be ready for a book, that they choose or bring in, before rest time, not every single day before lunch or outside play. Ask for parents to come in and read, or older siblings. Children don't adjust well to abrupt changes, let them know step by step what is coming and give them accolades when they do such as 'I really like how Angie is putting away her toys', or Nathan is waiting so patient! Good Job Nathan! . Also change up your book time with finger puppets and felt board stories, with plenty of participation from your group. It gets boring fast with just the same person reading all the time. Hope this helps!

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    Janeen Vanrassan
    Training & Curriculum Specialist
    USAF 92 FSS/FSFC
    Fairchild AFB WA
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  • 8.  RE: Children refusing & not following expectations

    Posted 01-15-2019 02:37 PM
    Greetings!  Teaching young children to follow rules and meet our expectations can be challenging!  Fortunately, there are some time-tested strategies to 1) teach children our expectations and to 2) motivate them to meet our expectations.  Some knowledge that we want young children to gain or skills we want to them to perform are optional; however, there are some expectations ("Get ready for learning") that children simply must do.  One good way to teach them the routines is to do it explicitly.  That is, you get them all together and you tell them the expectation and why they need to learn it ("To get ready for learning, children must sit on the rug ), then you model the 3 - 4 steps of the routine, with pictures if possible, that go along with the routine's steps.  For example, if you and another adult can arrange it, one of you takes on the role of the teacher, and one takes on the role of the child.  The adult says, "We are going to get ready for learning, so come sit on the rug", and holds up a picture of a child sitting on the rug.  The adult role-playing the student will need to be somewhere else in the classroom, then talk out loud the words "I will get ready for learning by sitting on the rug"  and then the pretend student walks over to the rug and sits down.  The "teacher" says, "Good job, coming over and sitting on the rug, (insert child's name)!  You are now ready for learning! What are you ready to do?" and the pretend student says, "I am ready to  learn".  Gives a smile and a high-five, then says "What is your body doing that tells me you are ready to learn?"  The student replies, "My body is sitting on the rug!", and smiles. The picture is used as necessary to scaffold the child into making the correct verbal response.  If necessary, you can provide descriptive feedback to the student who is following the routine so that a nearby student catches on that if they want a high-five from you and to receive a smile, they need to do the same thing as the student who is compliant with your statement.  

    Now that the adults have modeled the first part of the routine ("I do it"), you can have the children actually do it with guidance from you ("We do it.")   When they are able to do it well with minimal guidance, you can drop the pictures, then you can have them do it independently ("You do it").  This can take place over the first week of starting-up your program.  Of course, you will have to add other elements to the routine, such as sitting criss-cross, apple sauce, keeping quiet hands and feet, etc., as it matches your definition of "ready for learning".   You will also have to teach "Getting ready for lunch", "Getting ready to enter the hallway", etc., so they know that the expectations for "Getting ready" can vary, depending on the up-coming task,  More information on this type of process for teaching children to meet various types of expectations across various settings are outlined in this resource:  www.rtinetwork.org/learn/rti-in-pre-kindergarten/developing-socially-competent-and-emotionally-resilient-young-children.  There are also great resources at www.pyramidmodel.org , a multi-tiered social-emotional intervention model for young children, at www.pbis.org/community/early-childhood, and in the book "Implementing Positive Behavior Support Systems in Early Childhood and Elementary Settings", authored by Stormont, Lewis, Beckner, and Johnson, published by Corwin Press in 2008.  Best wishes for a joyful experience developing socially competent and resilient young children!   














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    Robin Miller Young
    Sugar Grove IL
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  • 9.  RE: Children refusing & not following expectations

    Posted 01-16-2019 12:22 AM
    Oh, my gosh. What excellent, well thought out suggestions. The use of remembering the child's perspective, the cues, the reminders for the intentional teaching in which we must engage, the allowing for children to opt out, the care required in our choice of words so as to eliminate the choice/question factor, the resources cited by Robin Miller Young ...... the list is endless.

    Thank you all and so many for responding.
    Lacey, thank you for bringing this rich topic for our participation.

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    Mary Wonderlick
    co facilitator
    At Risk & Special Needs Interest Forum
    Chicago IL
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  • 10.  RE: Children refusing & not following expectations

    Posted 01-15-2019 03:12 PM
    I've had success with pretending that it's time to put the toys to sleep.  We'd sing a lullaby and cover them with sheets.   It's not perfect, but it did help to reduce the visual distraction and get the children to buy into the transition.  Good luck!

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    Casandra Chermer
    Ready for Kindergarten Specialist
    Columbus Metropolitan Library
    Columbus OH
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