Open Discussion Forum

  • 1.  4 year old boy potty training

    Posted 12-12-2018 09:13 PM
    Hello!
    Curious to hear insights and suggestions.  I have a 4 year old in a two day preschool class who is showing no interest in potty training.  He wears diapers (has worn pull ups) and shows no reaction when wet or soiled.  Teachers have taken him to try going potty every 15 minutes- no success.  His BM schedule is pretty predictable and dependable- he will poop within 10 to 30 minutes of arriving at school.  Teachers have him sit on the potty and within 3 to 5 minutes of returning to class, he poops occurs 90 % of the time.  He is always happy go lucky and chats happily with his teachers when getting changed.  His parents asked the teachers to take the lead in potty training and are mimicking what is done at school.  He has been in underwear - no difference.  Teachers ask him to help with the changing process...

    It appears to us (parents and teachers) that he is ready to train since we can bet money on him going shortly after getting off the potty.  We have had him sit a couple minutes to as long as we feel is ok.  Teachers are always positive, praising his attempts, no negative words when he's gone in his diaper or pull up.... 

    Thoughts?  There does not appear to be a medical issue according to the pediatrician.  


    ------------------------------
    Sandra Briesath
    Director
    Peace Lutheran Preschool
    Waunakee WI
    ------------------------------


  • 2.  RE: 4 year old boy potty training

    Posted 12-12-2018 09:37 PM
    Hi @Sandra Briesath,

    It sounds like you have a resistant toilet learner in your classroom!  The fact that he’s four and has the ability to go, but seems to choose not to on the toilet, leads me to this conclusion. The Baby Center blog has great suggestions on this topic. Here is a link to one:  
    Potty Training Resistance
    BabyCenter Community remove preview
    Potty Training Resistance
    I found this interesting article and thought I would share:) Toilet Training Resistance While most children show signs of physical readiness to begin using the toilet as toddlers, usually between 18 months and 3 years of age, not all children have the intellectual and/or psychological readiness to be potty trained at this age.
    View this on BabyCenter Community >

    When I have had this challenge in the past, the first thing I always did was sit and talk to the child about why they don’t want to use the toilet. If they have a fear (of flushing, falling inside, etc.), then it’s important to address the fear first. 

    After that, I explain to the child that they are a “big boy” and can choose when to go and when not to go to the potty on their own. I will not send them because they will know they have to go and can just go without asking. I find this removes the struggle that results from you trying to send them to the potty and them not having to go or wanting to go. I also explain that if they have any accidents, they will need to clean themselves because they can’t walk around in wet or poopy clothes.

    When they have an accident, I will be calm and remind them of our conversation. Then, help them with cleaning up. Usually once I do this, the resistence to going dimishes because I’m no longer making it an issue and it is not a source of attention or focus for our interactions. Sometimes, the problem is you spend so much time trying to get them to go (sending every 15 minutes) and then taking care of accidents that it becomes a way the child has control by not going. When you step back, the control stays with him, but also the consequence of not going is he has to clean up the accident (with adult assistance as needed). 

    I would also increase the incentive to go potty by offering a reward that is slowly reduced over time. If the reward is something they can reuse, like access to a tablet, special drawing/art materials, or something of interest to the child for a time period, this reduces the need to continuously buy things. I would partner with the family and have them provide rewards as they see fit and can implement successfully.  At school, a simple potty chart where stickers are added each time he uses the toilet (if he doesn’t sit maybe each time he sits) will be added to the chart. Once an agreed upon number of stickers is earned, then access to the reward would occur. 

    Check out the article, it offers great suggestions.

    Look forward to hearing what happens for you!

    ~Tiffany

    ------------------------------
    Tiffany Smith
    Founder/Owner
    Teaching Foundations, LLC
    Columbia MD
    Tiffanyjsmith@teachingfoundationsllc.com
    Https://www.teachingfoundationsllc.com
    ------------------------------



  • 3.  RE: 4 year old boy potty training

    Posted 12-14-2018 12:24 AM
    Hello....while reading your post, two things came to mind....first of all, I would make it a game....cut boat shapes out of tissue paper, have him "sink" the ships. Secondly, make sure the parents are following through at home. Are you requiring him to stand or sit when urinating.  Are the parents doing the same to avoid the child being confused. Last of all, I would recommend the parents consult their pediatrician.  You're losing the window of opportunity for the potty training, that's where the doctor can make suggestions. When all else fails, make him change himself!

    ------------------------------
    Jennie Trovinger
    Executive director
    EC Consultants
    Mechanicsville VA
    ------------------------------



  • 4.  RE: 4 year old boy potty training

    Posted 12-15-2018 07:57 AM
    We have this problem with a young child whose parents are refugees from Burma.  The child is scared of something in the bathroom.  We are trying to figure this out.  His mother sends him in pull-ups.  He goes into a corner, pulls down his pants and poops.  We know this is going to be a multi stage approach, with home visits and interpreters, but was wondering if anyone has had experience with this?

    ------------------------------
    Linda Travers
    GPTC
    Atlanta GA
    ------------------------------



  • 5.  RE: 4 year old boy potty training

    Posted 01-13-2019 02:04 PM
    I had a 4 four year old boy in my classroom last year that was kind of the same way. He would have pull ups in his cubbie in the classroom, he would wear pull ups to school. When the teachers would ask him if he had to go potty, he would always say no. When he would be outside on the playground he would always say to either me or one of the other teachers that he was "poopy".  From speaking with my host teacher she informed me that his parents were showing no effort in potting training him at all. Even when he would wear underwear he would have an accident and would need o be changed. he didn't mind being changed.

    ------------------------------
    Cheryl Morris
    Saint Louis MO
    ------------------------------