Open Discussion Forum

Good morning everyone I'm hoping someone can help me with this situation that I have as a mother and a teacher. I have a six-year-old son who is really going Through in school, I recently  Set down with the child study team to talk about his behavior and how he's not focusing in school I wind up putting him in a special Ed class and getting him a speech therapist I know they Told me that he shows some signs of ADHD and depression I'm in school for early  childhood education for special ed,  as I watch his behavior at home and teach him the way that I'm being taught and the way  I teach my own students I see no signs of ADHD or depression I know when  he can't get his way he throws tantrums or crys in which I give him a minute to calm his body. But lately the school has been stressing me out Because There telling me that he's been crying a lot and acting out a lot more which I don't see that at home but when I ask him what's going on, he tells me someone is talking to him and He tells them to stop it and I don't like it, and when he tries to tell the teacher she tells him to put his hand down and he also told me and his  sister That when someone had hit him and he told the teacher and she told him to keep quiet which is unacceptable in my book because I'm teaching him what to do at home or what to say and they're doing something else in school. I don't think I made the right decision in putting him in special ed because he doesn't need it I don't know what to do as a mother and a teacher.

------------------------------
Keisha Harris
Teacher special ed
Grand Canyon University
Camden NJ
------------------------------

Original Message------

Good morning everyone I'm hoping someone can help me with this situation that I have as a mother and a teacher. I have a six-year-old son who is really going Through in school, I recently  Set down with the child study team to talk about his behavior and how he's not focusing in school I wind up putting him in a special Ed class and getting him a speech therapist I know they Told me that he shows some signs of ADHD and depression I'm in school for early  childhood education for special ed,  as I watch his behavior at home and teach him the way that I'm being taught and the way  I teach my own students I see no signs of ADHD or depression I know when  he can't get his way he throws tantrums or crys in which I give him a minute to calm his body. But lately the school has been stressing me out Because There telling me that he's been crying a lot and acting out a lot more which I don't see that at home but when I ask him what's going on, he tells me someone is talking to him and He tells them to stop it and I don't like it, and when he tries to tell the teacher she tells him to put his hand down and he also told me and his  sister That when someone had hit him and he told the teacher and she told him to keep quiet which is unacceptable in my book because I'm teaching him what to do at home or what to say and they're doing something else in school. I don't think I made the right decision in putting him in special ed because he doesn't need it I don't know what to do as a mother and a teacher.

------------------------------
Keisha Harris
Teacher special ed
Grand Canyon University
Camden NJ
------------------------------

Keisha - I would recommend that any meeting you go to you bring someone with you. You need to have someone with you who you trust, but does not have the same emotional investment in the child that you as the parent has. This person can provide an objective perspective and give you the support you need. If you don't know of anyone there are organizations out there for families who have a child with an identified special need (regardless of whether it's a valid identification). They can help you find an advocate.

------------------------------
Deborah Abelman, M.Ed., Ph.D
Director of Early Learning and Coaching
The Dimock Center
Roxbury, Massachusetts
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 01-18-2019 02:30 PM
From: Barbara Kaiser
Subject: My son

Hi Keisha,

This is a tough situation. I think that you should try to have a meeting with the teacher, the special ed teacher and the Principal of the school and see what specific examples they can give you. You mentioned that you have engaged a speech therapist which I assume means that his speech is not always clear. It sounds to me as though he is being bullied which can often happen to children who have difficulty speaking. Much of the behavior they are seeing can be a result of being targeted. You might ask if they have looked into this possibility and what their policies are about bullying. If you feel that being in a special ed. class is doing him a disservice, you could ask if he could be transferred to another teacher's classroom.

Barbara Kaiser

Co-author Challenging Behavior in Young Children

287 Old Post Road

Grand Pré Nova Scotia

CANADA B0P1M0

Tel: 902-542-4526

email:bkaiser48@gmail.com

website: www.challengingbehavior.com

Original Message------

Good morning everyone I'm hoping someone can help me with this situation that I have as a mother and a teacher. I have a six-year-old son who is really going Through in school, I recently  Set down with the child study team to talk about his behavior and how he's not focusing in school I wind up putting him in a special Ed class and getting him a speech therapist I know they Told me that he shows some signs of ADHD and depression I'm in school for early  childhood education for special ed,  as I watch his behavior at home and teach him the way that I'm being taught and the way  I teach my own students I see no signs of ADHD or depression I know when  he can't get his way he throws tantrums or crys in which I give him a minute to calm his body. But lately the school has been stressing me out Because There telling me that he's been crying a lot and acting out a lot more which I don't see that at home but when I ask him what's going on, he tells me someone is talking to him and He tells them to stop it and I don't like it, and when he tries to tell the teacher she tells him to put his hand down and he also told me and his  sister That when someone had hit him and he told the teacher and she told him to keep quiet which is unacceptable in my book because I'm teaching him what to do at home or what to say and they're doing something else in school. I don't think I made the right decision in putting him in special ed because he doesn't need it I don't know what to do as a mother and a teacher.

------------------------------
Keisha Harris
Teacher special ed
Grand Canyon University
Camden NJ
------------------------------

I have a grandson who has gone through some of the same issues but in NYC that it appears, your son is going through. As a parent of a special education student in NJ (my home state), you have certain rights. I would contact SPAN (look on the Internet) for support. Yes, you need to have someone accompany you as your advocate to these meetings. A new meeting with an advocate attending with you to discuss your son's issues is very important.

It is really hard to understand the exact issues that your son is having but in your narrative of them, it appears that adaptations as of now are not effective. If you have health insurance, you should ask SPAN about a list of excellent neuropsychologists who can do an evaluation of your son's issues, which will be helpful in dealing with the school system. Also, there are lawyers who specialize in helping with accessing appropriate environments for children with special education needs. Alas, they do cost money.

I wish you the best.

------------------------------
Nora Krieger
Associate Professor Emerita/ Chair NJEEPRE
Bloomfield College/ New Jersey Educators Exploring the Practices of Reggio Emilia
Highland Park NJ
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 01-19-2019 08:26 AM
From: Deborah Abelman
Subject: My son

Keisha - I would recommend that any meeting you go to you bring someone with you. You need to have someone with you who you trust, but does not have the same emotional investment in the child that you as the parent has. This person can provide an objective perspective and give you the support you need. If you don't know of anyone there are organizations out there for families who have a child with an identified special need (regardless of whether it's a valid identification). They can help you find an advocate.

------------------------------
Deborah Abelman, M.Ed., Ph.D
Director of Early Learning and Coaching
The Dimock Center
Roxbury, Massachusetts

Original Message:
Sent: 01-18-2019 02:30 PM
From: Barbara Kaiser
Subject: My son

Hi Keisha,

This is a tough situation. I think that you should try to have a meeting with the teacher, the special ed teacher and the Principal of the school and see what specific examples they can give you. You mentioned that you have engaged a speech therapist which I assume means that his speech is not always clear. It sounds to me as though he is being bullied which can often happen to children who have difficulty speaking. Much of the behavior they are seeing can be a result of being targeted. You might ask if they have looked into this possibility and what their policies are about bullying. If you feel that being in a special ed. class is doing him a disservice, you could ask if he could be transferred to another teacher's classroom.

Barbara Kaiser

Co-author Challenging Behavior in Young Children

287 Old Post Road

Grand Pré Nova Scotia

CANADA B0P1M0

Tel: 902-542-4526

email:bkaiser48@gmail.com

website: www.challengingbehavior.com

Original Message------

Good morning everyone I'm hoping someone can help me with this situation that I have as a mother and a teacher. I have a six-year-old son who is really going Through in school, I recently  Set down with the child study team to talk about his behavior and how he's not focusing in school I wind up putting him in a special Ed class and getting him a speech therapist I know they Told me that he shows some signs of ADHD and depression I'm in school for early  childhood education for special ed,  as I watch his behavior at home and teach him the way that I'm being taught and the way  I teach my own students I see no signs of ADHD or depression I know when  he can't get his way he throws tantrums or crys in which I give him a minute to calm his body. But lately the school has been stressing me out Because There telling me that he's been crying a lot and acting out a lot more which I don't see that at home but when I ask him what's going on, he tells me someone is talking to him and He tells them to stop it and I don't like it, and when he tries to tell the teacher she tells him to put his hand down and he also told me and his  sister That when someone had hit him and he told the teacher and she told him to keep quiet which is unacceptable in my book because I'm teaching him what to do at home or what to say and they're doing something else in school. I don't think I made the right decision in putting him in special ed because he doesn't need it I don't know what to do as a mother and a teacher.

------------------------------
Keisha Harris
Teacher special ed
Grand Canyon University
Camden NJ
------------------------------

Have you spoken to an Occupational Therapist? Sensory Processing Disorder might be an area to research.

------------------------------
Karin King
Education Consultant
Trumbull CT
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 01-18-2019 06:24 AM
From: Keisha Harris
Subject: My son

Good morning everyone I'm hoping someone can help me with this situation that I have as a mother and a teacher. I have a six-year-old son who is really going Through in school, I recently  Set down with the child study team to talk about his behavior and how he's not focusing in school I wind up putting him in a special Ed class and getting him a speech therapist I know they Told me that he shows some signs of ADHD and depression I'm in school for early  childhood education for special ed,  as I watch his behavior at home and teach him the way that I'm being taught and the way  I teach my own students I see no signs of ADHD or depression I know when  he can't get his way he throws tantrums or crys in which I give him a minute to calm his body. But lately the school has been stressing me out Because There telling me that he's been crying a lot and acting out a lot more which I don't see that at home but when I ask him what's going on, he tells me someone is talking to him and He tells them to stop it and I don't like it, and when he tries to tell the teacher she tells him to put his hand down and he also told me and his  sister That when someone had hit him and he told the teacher and she told him to keep quiet which is unacceptable in my book because I'm teaching him what to do at home or what to say and they're doing something else in school. I don't think I made the right decision in putting him in special ed because he doesn't need it I don't know what to do as a mother and a teacher.

------------------------------
Keisha Harris
Teacher special ed
Grand Canyon University
Camden NJ
------------------------------

Keisha,

I know exactly where you are coming from.  My daughter had a different diagnoses.  She was diagnosed with autism when she was three.  At that time, we lived in N.C. and they have a wonderful TEACCH program in the public schools.  Unfortunately, my husband took another job that moved us to MI.  
After leaving a state where their SPED programs were stellar, I was shocked at how the programs differed where we moved to.  After being assessed, I was given a few schools to look at.  The school closest to my home was a logical choice.  After visiting, there was no way I would put my child in that class.  There were too many children (even if it met the states ratio).  Their discipline policy for children who got out of control was to strap them in a chair!  No kidding!  There were other issues, but all I could see was frantic teachers trying to survive.  And this was a Kindergarten age program!
I ended up picking a program on the other side of the county about 45 miles from my home.  It was pretty good, but again not the program I came from in N.C.  
If you are able, and your district allows it, visit other schools that your child could attend.  Convenience should not be the reason to keep a child in a program that is not working!  

I pray that you find the right place where your child can flourish!

------------------------------
Ann Giles
St. Luke''''''''''''''''s Episcopal Day School
Baton Rouge LA
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 01-18-2019 06:24 AM
From: Keisha Harris
Subject: My son

Good morning everyone I'm hoping someone can help me with this situation that I have as a mother and a teacher. I have a six-year-old son who is really going Through in school, I recently  Set down with the child study team to talk about his behavior and how he's not focusing in school I wind up putting him in a special Ed class and getting him a speech therapist I know they Told me that he shows some signs of ADHD and depression I'm in school for early  childhood education for special ed,  as I watch his behavior at home and teach him the way that I'm being taught and the way  I teach my own students I see no signs of ADHD or depression I know when  he can't get his way he throws tantrums or crys in which I give him a minute to calm his body. But lately the school has been stressing me out Because There telling me that he's been crying a lot and acting out a lot more which I don't see that at home but when I ask him what's going on, he tells me someone is talking to him and He tells them to stop it and I don't like it, and when he tries to tell the teacher she tells him to put his hand down and he also told me and his  sister That when someone had hit him and he told the teacher and she told him to keep quiet which is unacceptable in my book because I'm teaching him what to do at home or what to say and they're doing something else in school. I don't think I made the right decision in putting him in special ed because he doesn't need it I don't know what to do as a mother and a teacher.

------------------------------
Keisha Harris
Teacher special ed
Grand Canyon University
Camden NJ
------------------------------

------------------------------
Chukwunedum Ikenyiri
Lecturer
Federal College of Education (Technical) Omoku, Rivers State,
Port Harcourt RI
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 01-18-2019 06:24 AM
From: Keisha Harris
Subject: My son

Good morning everyone I'm hoping someone can help me with this situation that I have as a mother and a teacher. I have a six-year-old son who is really going Through in school, I recently  Set down with the child study team to talk about his behavior and how he's not focusing in school I wind up putting him in a special Ed class and getting him a speech therapist I know they Told me that he shows some signs of ADHD and depression I'm in school for early  childhood education for special ed,  as I watch his behavior at home and teach him the way that I'm being taught and the way  I teach my own students I see no signs of ADHD or depression I know when  he can't get his way he throws tantrums or crys in which I give him a minute to calm his body. But lately the school has been stressing me out Because There telling me that he's been crying a lot and acting out a lot more which I don't see that at home but when I ask him what's going on, he tells me someone is talking to him and He tells them to stop it and I don't like it, and when he tries to tell the teacher she tells him to put his hand down and he also told me and his  sister That when someone had hit him and he told the teacher and she told him to keep quiet which is unacceptable in my book because I'm teaching him what to do at home or what to say and they're doing something else in school. I don't think I made the right decision in putting him in special ed because he doesn't need it I don't know what to do as a mother and a teacher.

------------------------------
Keisha Harris
Teacher special ed
Grand Canyon University
Camden NJ
------------------------------

Great suggestion Chukwunedum! I would like to echo Chukwunedum sentiments.

Special education is a service not a place, possibly calling a meeting and suggesting a more inclusive placement might be a good first step. 

Be strong, you have not made any wrong decisions Keisha, this is a journey, all of this is a journey. You can always choose another path, know you have that freedom. 

Lark

------------------------------
Lark Sontag
MA, Early Childhood Education
Alumna Pacific Oaks College
Trainer, Adjunct Early Childhood Education Faculty, and Early Childhood Education contributor to 30seconds
New York Metro
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 01-20-2019 07:48 PM
From: Chukwunedum Ikenyiri
Subject: My son

Keisha- I don't think this is a difficult problem. All you need know is that special education centre for your son is not the ultimate answer to the problem. Your son needs a freer place where he can communicate across board. Inclusive education is what he needs. The challenges you feel he is passing true is but illusion recoverable by him as he takes the same lessons and engages in play activities other children of same age are involved. The experience of Maria Montessori in assembling children of various classes with various challenges is a lesson for all who are interested in their children development. Please, look out for early child environment where population is not much and caregivers are ready to give attention to the children both in classes and play ground. 

------------------------------
Chukwunedum Ikenyiri
Lecturer
Federal College of Education (Technical) Omoku, Rivers State,
Port Harcourt RI

Original Message:
Sent: 01-18-2019 06:24 AM
From: Keisha Harris
Subject: My son

Good morning everyone I'm hoping someone can help me with this situation that I have as a mother and a teacher. I have a six-year-old son who is really going Through in school, I recently  Set down with the child study team to talk about his behavior and how he's not focusing in school I wind up putting him in a special Ed class and getting him a speech therapist I know they Told me that he shows some signs of ADHD and depression I'm in school for early  childhood education for special ed,  as I watch his behavior at home and teach him the way that I'm being taught and the way  I teach my own students I see no signs of ADHD or depression I know when  he can't get his way he throws tantrums or crys in which I give him a minute to calm his body. But lately the school has been stressing me out Because There telling me that he's been crying a lot and acting out a lot more which I don't see that at home but when I ask him what's going on, he tells me someone is talking to him and He tells them to stop it and I don't like it, and when he tries to tell the teacher she tells him to put his hand down and he also told me and his  sister That when someone had hit him and he told the teacher and she told him to keep quiet which is unacceptable in my book because I'm teaching him what to do at home or what to say and they're doing something else in school. I don't think I made the right decision in putting him in special ed because he doesn't need it I don't know what to do as a mother and a teacher.

------------------------------
Keisha Harris
Teacher special ed
Grand Canyon University
Camden NJ
------------------------------

I still strongly suggest contacting SPAN because they can advise you as you navigate appropriate services/placement, whether it is in an inclusive environment or a special education school or classroom. What you want, as Lark Sontag has stated, is the appropriate services that support your son's development and learning.

Best of luck.

------------------------------
Nora Krieger
Associate Professor Emerita/ Chair NJEEPRE
Bloomfield College/ New Jersey Educators Exploring the Practices of Reggio Emilia
Highland Park NJ
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 01-21-2019 10:52 AM
From: Lark Sontag
Subject: My son

Great suggestion Chukwunedum! I would like to echo Chukwunedum sentiments.

Special education is a service not a place, possibly calling a meeting and suggesting a more inclusive placement might be a good first step. 

Be strong, you have not made any wrong decisions Keisha, this is a journey, all of this is a journey. You can always choose another path, know you have that freedom. 

Lark

------------------------------
Lark Sontag
MA, Early Childhood Education
Alumna Pacific Oaks College
Trainer, Adjunct Early Childhood Education Faculty, and Early Childhood Education contributor to 30seconds
New York Metro

Original Message:
Sent: 01-20-2019 07:48 PM
From: Chukwunedum Ikenyiri
Subject: My son

Keisha- I don't think this is a difficult problem. All you need know is that special education centre for your son is not the ultimate answer to the problem. Your son needs a freer place where he can communicate across board. Inclusive education is what he needs. The challenges you feel he is passing true is but illusion recoverable by him as he takes the same lessons and engages in play activities other children of same age are involved. The experience of Maria Montessori in assembling children of various classes with various challenges is a lesson for all who are interested in their children development. Please, look out for early child environment where population is not much and caregivers are ready to give attention to the children both in classes and play ground. 

------------------------------
Chukwunedum Ikenyiri
Lecturer
Federal College of Education (Technical) Omoku, Rivers State,
Port Harcourt RI

Original Message:
Sent: 01-18-2019 06:24 AM
From: Keisha Harris
Subject: My son

Good morning everyone I'm hoping someone can help me with this situation that I have as a mother and a teacher. I have a six-year-old son who is really going Through in school, I recently  Set down with the child study team to talk about his behavior and how he's not focusing in school I wind up putting him in a special Ed class and getting him a speech therapist I know they Told me that he shows some signs of ADHD and depression I'm in school for early  childhood education for special ed,  as I watch his behavior at home and teach him the way that I'm being taught and the way  I teach my own students I see no signs of ADHD or depression I know when  he can't get his way he throws tantrums or crys in which I give him a minute to calm his body. But lately the school has been stressing me out Because There telling me that he's been crying a lot and acting out a lot more which I don't see that at home but when I ask him what's going on, he tells me someone is talking to him and He tells them to stop it and I don't like it, and when he tries to tell the teacher she tells him to put his hand down and he also told me and his  sister That when someone had hit him and he told the teacher and she told him to keep quiet which is unacceptable in my book because I'm teaching him what to do at home or what to say and they're doing something else in school. I don't think I made the right decision in putting him in special ed because he doesn't need it I don't know what to do as a mother and a teacher.

------------------------------
Keisha Harris
Teacher special ed
Grand Canyon University
Camden NJ
------------------------------

Original Message------

Keisha- I don't think this is a difficult problem. All you need know is that special education centre for your son is not the ultimate answer to the problem. Your son needs a freer place where he can communicate across board. Inclusive education is what he needs. The challenges you feel he is passing true is but illusion recoverable by him as he takes the same lessons and engages in play activities other children of same age are involved. The experience of Maria Montessori in assembling children of various classes with various challenges is a lesson for all who are interested in their children development. Please, look out for early child environment where population is not much and caregivers are ready to give attention to the children both in classes and play ground. 

------------------------------
Chukwunedum Ikenyiri
Lecturer
Federal College of Education (Technical) Omoku, Rivers State,
Port Harcourt RI
------------------------------

Hello, I am so God given thankful that your son and you can communicate.  Some parents do not take the time to talk to and with their child/children at the end of the day. I hope me saying make sure you pray for your child, pray for your family, and pray for you.  I feel that if you do not see any signs in which the school system is saying that your child is ADHD and such, you should go with your intuition and have him placed back into regular school classroom.  I so proud of you and your son.  The bullying is getting out of hand.

------------------------------
Ms. Tamara L Red
Owner / Provider
Unlimited Red Expressions Licensed Home Daycare
Danville Illinois
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 01-18-2019 06:24 AM
From: Keisha Harris
Subject: My son

Good morning everyone I'm hoping someone can help me with this situation that I have as a mother and a teacher. I have a six-year-old son who is really going Through in school, I recently  Set down with the child study team to talk about his behavior and how he's not focusing in school I wind up putting him in a special Ed class and getting him a speech therapist I know they Told me that he shows some signs of ADHD and depression I'm in school for early  childhood education for special ed,  as I watch his behavior at home and teach him the way that I'm being taught and the way  I teach my own students I see no signs of ADHD or depression I know when  he can't get his way he throws tantrums or crys in which I give him a minute to calm his body. But lately the school has been stressing me out Because There telling me that he's been crying a lot and acting out a lot more which I don't see that at home but when I ask him what's going on, he tells me someone is talking to him and He tells them to stop it and I don't like it, and when he tries to tell the teacher she tells him to put his hand down and he also told me and his  sister That when someone had hit him and he told the teacher and she told him to keep quiet which is unacceptable in my book because I'm teaching him what to do at home or what to say and they're doing something else in school. I don't think I made the right decision in putting him in special ed because he doesn't need it I don't know what to do as a mother and a teacher.

------------------------------
Keisha Harris
Teacher special ed
Grand Canyon University
Camden NJ
------------------------------

Hi Keisha, 
I am a principal in an elementary school and see this type of situation happen often. Please call a meeting with the teacher, child study team and principal. Ask very specific questions about what your son is telling you and don't leave the meeting until you are satisfied with the answers. You mentioned ADHD. No school can diagnose a child so I would ask very specifically: What happens before you see my child's behavior?(cause) What specific behavior do you see? And what is the adult response to my child's behavior? 
It is very possible that the school is seeing more frequent "behaviors" just because of school expectations, so the question becomes; What are they doing to help him? 
You mentioned speech, which could be an issue with articulation or receptive/expressive language development. Ask specifically what they are working on with him, and how that support is following him into the classroom. 
Remember that you as a parent are the driving force with your child's IEP. It is a legal document that you can change at any time. During your meeting, you should have received a booklet about parent rights. If you did not receive this, contact the school and ask for it. 
Keep advocating for your son!

------------------------------
Mary Minard
Elementary School Principal
Des Moines Public Schools
Des Moines IA
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 01-18-2019 06:24 AM
From: Keisha Harris
Subject: My son

Good morning everyone I'm hoping someone can help me with this situation that I have as a mother and a teacher. I have a six-year-old son who is really going Through in school, I recently  Set down with the child study team to talk about his behavior and how he's not focusing in school I wind up putting him in a special Ed class and getting him a speech therapist I know they Told me that he shows some signs of ADHD and depression I'm in school for early  childhood education for special ed,  as I watch his behavior at home and teach him the way that I'm being taught and the way  I teach my own students I see no signs of ADHD or depression I know when  he can't get his way he throws tantrums or crys in which I give him a minute to calm his body. But lately the school has been stressing me out Because There telling me that he's been crying a lot and acting out a lot more which I don't see that at home but when I ask him what's going on, he tells me someone is talking to him and He tells them to stop it and I don't like it, and when he tries to tell the teacher she tells him to put his hand down and he also told me and his  sister That when someone had hit him and he told the teacher and she told him to keep quiet which is unacceptable in my book because I'm teaching him what to do at home or what to say and they're doing something else in school. I don't think I made the right decision in putting him in special ed because he doesn't need it I don't know what to do as a mother and a teacher.

------------------------------
Keisha Harris
Teacher special ed
Grand Canyon University
Camden NJ
------------------------------