I love Elizabeth Scudder's point that these types of events can put stress on many families as they often unintentionally support a stereotyped ideal of what families should look like. Sadly, the lure of the cute, rhyming event title can contribute; muffins with mom's just sounds so sweet! On the other hand, sometimes the intent to be inclusive by hosting family and friends events instead of mom, dad or grandparent day can be misconstrued as biased against "nuclear families" or a denial of motherhood, etc. For working parents who have a difficult time getting time off for school events it can also be a source of stress, and add fuel to the idea of the "mommy war" between stay at home moms and working moms.
I think the focus should start on the intent of the event: are you hoping to create a stronger bond between families and the school? If this is your intent, look realistically at the families you serve: Who's dropping off the students in the morning? Is mom there? Can you ask the families what type of event would work for them? Maybe asking families to come in person to the school is really more stress than bonding- could you create a day where parents could email or drop off a special card to be read in class? Could your children make and mail cards to a loved one -bonus: a short walking field trip to your nearest mail box, or maybe a visit from your mail carrier!
Maybe your school's intent is to honor moms specifically; again, consider if your specific families would like and can realistically attend an event like this, and offer alternatives for families that can't attend. From my parent perspective, and days of being the "stay at home mom nominated as room mom", preschool events where I had to organize other parent volunteers to come to school during a week day were the worst! So many working moms told me flat out, " just let me give you cash right now, and take care of the rest, no offense, but I can't fit coming into class, or rushing off to the grocery store to buy cookies or "blue food." Even "perfect stay at mom Pinterest moms" confided to me they felt so much pressure to bake the cutest cupcakes, and that losing their time to take a younger sibling to music class, or dash to the store or gym dampened their gratitude for the "special Mother's day Tea Party." One eventthat was really stressful was Circus Day. We needed parent volunteers to run carnival games, paint faces, and hand out animal crackers. The run up to Circus Day was full of stress- do we have enough volunteers? Will our two's without mom's laps to sit in cry during the clown act? Etc? We always had enough volunteers, but there was always a couple of stressed out mom's chasing after younger siblings running amuck through the bowling pins while impatient 4 yr olds jostled in line... Happily, my preschool's Circus Day has evolved into International Day, with short performances of international music, dance and storytellers, and classrooms inviting families and friends to send in a favorite family food to share, or visit the classroom, or dress their child in a special outfit from their family's cultural heritage ( many opted for comfie t-shirts or sports team wear). The event brought many families, was relaxed, promoted special time for families to meet each other, and brought our school community closer together by creating a classroom culture that valued diversity and inclusion.
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Margro Purple
Rockville MD
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Original Message:
Sent: 05-01-2019 12:06 PM
From: Elizabeth Scudder
Subject: grade level events
We did the whole Muffins with Mom and Donuts with Dad thing and it was hard on the parents that didn't have the one not served that day, single moms and single dads. So, we switched to Pastries for Parents and that fixed that issue completely. Pastry day was for whoever dropped off. We also did Coffee for Caregivers everyday in the foyer. This has become a huge hit. If you will talk to some of your coffee shops they will donate the coffee and supplies to help get there name out..
Projects for Parents would be another good one. We do a mommy and me tea also that is very decorated and with child made decorations. Moms look forward to this all year. We also let everyone know that it is for whoever can attend, it doesn't have to just be Mommies, Grandparents, Dads, whoever can get off work and come is welcome.
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Elizabeth Scudder
Trainer
University of Arkansas
Fayetteville, AR
Original Message:
Sent: 04-30-2019 05:02 PM
From: Tiffany Knight
Subject: grade level events
We are looking for some fresh event ideas for our grade levels. For example, our PK4 classes have always had "Moms and Muffins" and "Pops and Projects" in the past. We would like for these events to be generic on who is invited but also still have the cute and warm feel. Thanks, advance for your willingness to share your great ideas!
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Tiffany Knight
Pulaski Academy
Little Rock AR
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