Hello, Ann
I think the most important thing to remember when responding to a child's "mistake", is that we are here to teach. When we come at it from, "they simply have not learned this skill yet" approach, we automatically respond with more patience and grace.
From a speech perspective; say a child says, "Him took my block!" I would suggest responding with, "Oh, he took your block?" So instead of calling attention to this child's mistake, I would simply say it back correctly, giving them the opportunity to hear it.
Your example of the child saying the wrong shape, I would respond with, "You are right, a triangle IS a shape, let's look closely at what shape the moon might be." By responding this way, we are encouraging that child with what they had "correct" and building on it. Some refer to this as a Growth Mindset.
Your example with the paint, I don't know that I would call it harmful, but the main lesson we want the child to learn from this is to be aware of others, or maybe they need to slow their body down, or maybe they need to ask for help. Whatever skill they seem to be missing, that is where our focus should be. This scenario can easily be turned into a shaming one, which is what should be avoided at all costs. I would respond with, "Oh, I see an accident happened, how can you help me make it better?" When we are solution focused, we are teaching that they have the power to help, make it better, feel empowered. When given this opportunity, most children enjoy participating in this and end up initiating it on their own later on down the road. This is what we want to teach in the long run :)
Your last example; obviously children repeat what they hear so I would look at it the same way, 'they are lacking a skill, information, so I need to teach.' In a calm, slow voice, I would respond, "Hmm, that sounds very hurtful to girls." "Do you remember when you were building yesterday in the block area with Sara and the bridge kept collapsing? I could tell you were both very frustrated, but you kept trying. Sara kept trying too. Both of you kept trying until you finally got it to balance! That tells me that boys AND girls can do hard things, especially when we work together." I would focus on a growth mindset over a fixed mindset (smart vs. dumb).
I hope this was helpful, I appreciate your inquiry! :)
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Kari Pralle
Mentor/Coach
Kenaitze Indian Tribe Head Start/Early Head Start
Kenai AK
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Original Message:
Sent: 03-27-2021 12:04 PM
From: Ann Gadzikowski
Subject: Making Mistakes
Hi all,
How do you respond when children make mistakes? I'm interested in gathering examples of positive and constructive responses.
What do you do...
- When children answer questions incorrectly, like a child who answers a question about shapes by saying "The moon is a triangle"?
- When they accidentally do something harmful, like spilling paint on another child's clothing?
- When they say something biased or hurtful, like "Boys are smart and girls are dumb"?
Thanks in advance!
Ann Gadzikowski
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Ann Gadzikowski
Director of Early Learning
Encyclopedia Britannica
Evanston IL
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