Turn taking is HARD! There will always be struggles. There will always be those that cater to others, giving things up much too quickly, and those that find it almost impossible to take turns. Both need some guidance to build up the balance between taking care of themselves and being considerate of others.
I work with a mixed age class of 3-6 year-old children, and what we have found to be the most successful is to get them involved in the process and give them as much decision making and control over the situation as possible. Nobody likes to constantly be told what to do, and sometimes it feels like childhood is all about being told what to do. It can also feel stressful having to watch that timer and truly enjoy using something knowing that your time is limited. Initially we teach that everyone has the right to use the materials in the classroom and on the playground and sometimes we have to wait until someone else is done, which we empathize, "It can be hard to wait! Let's find something else to use/do while waiting." If they want a turn, we model how to ask, "May I have a turn with the bike when you are done?" and the answer is always, "yes,
when I am done" or "Josef is next. You can ask him." If Josef is next, they go to Josef and ask for a turn with the bike when he is done. This often, but not always, is very effective in helping them wait their turn, sometimes for a while! They have some control, and they know the order. They are typically good about respecting each other once they have some power over the situation and knowing that the expectation is that we take turns, and we can have the time we need. Time restrictions are not typically needed.
IF timing is an issue, and Sarah has been on the bike for quite a while and we know there are several children waiting, we will say, "You have been on the bike for a while and Josef is waiting for his turn. How much longer do you need, two minutes or three minutes?" Of course they almost always choose the higher number, but once again, they are in control and have the power, so often will even give up the item before their three minutes is over. If they use it for the full three minutes, they will typically hand it over willingly at the end of their time.
Very occasionally there is a child who refuses to give up the item. This is a difficult situation, and we have found very few children that will adamantly refuse to take turns - typically those very strong willed who need a lot of power and control. We do not engage in a power struggle and try not to assert our control over these children as it makes the situation worse and has long term negative effects. Ideally it is best to give the child some needed power over the situation. We explain, "Josef has been waiting a very long time for his turn, and Carol is waiting to go after him. We only have ten minutes left before we go inside. The expectation is that we take turns. How are we going to make sure that Josef and Carol get their turns?" If the child cannot come up with a solution, you can offer some ideas, "Would you like some ideas?" Remember - this child needs power and control, so try to respect that. "I have two ideas. You could get off the bike now and they can each have five minutes on the bike, or you could ride the bike for ten more minutes and not have a turn tomorrow. Which idea do you like better?" If the child refuses to engage, or says, "Neither!" you can say, "Would you like to choose one of these options, or do you want me to decide? By staying on the bike that shows me that you are choosing to not have a turn tomorrow." If this is what happens, we say to the waiting children, "Sarah is having a really hard time being done with the bike, so she will not take a turn tomorrow. I am sorry. You may have a turn tomorrow, but let's go find another bike you can use today." This typically only happens once or twice before it is no longer an issue.
Good luck! I hope you find some effective strategies. We have found that once we build this culture of respect, we have relatively few issues with turn taking.
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Lyn Schmucker
Director/Lead Teacher
Sunnybrook Montessori
Lancaster NH
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Original Message:
Sent: 08-30-2019 12:42 AM
From: Chris Schmidt
Subject: Taking turns on the play ground and In the classroom
Sorry! I forgot to mention that preschoolers don't really have a sense of time. A visual or auditory timer is more helpful than telling them when things will change. For example you could sing a familiar song like Twinkle. Everyone in the room knows how that song goes and when it will be ending, indicating a transition. Hourglass timers are another option. Personally I have a timer on my phone that goes from green to yellow to red and then explodes into a celebratory song to transition. I find that my students watch the timer and have forgotten what they are playing with by the time it's gone off...
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Chris Schmidt
Special Instructor
MO First Steps
St Louis, MO
Original Message:
Sent: 08-29-2019 01:29 PM
From: Cheryl Morris
Subject: Taking turns on the play ground and In the classroom
So I know that young children have a hard time taking turns with toys on the play ground and in the classroom. I noticed that when I was a student teacher there was a tire swing on the playground, and the children that would be on the playground would not get off so their friends could have a turn on the swing. In the classroom the children would become upset if they couldn't have a turn playing with certain toys. I noticed that the teachers tried to set a timer to let the children know when it would be their turn to play on the tire swing or with toys in the classroom. Even when I told the children that I was teaching, that they had like five more minutes to play on the tire swing or with a certain toy, the children didn't seem to care what I was saying. The children didn't seem to notice how sad the other children waiting to have their turn were. I think it is important to have a discussion with the children in the classroom the importance about taking turns. How can I address the issue of taking turns with toys when I start working in the field at a preschool? I don't want the children to become upset when I tell them that they have a certain amount of time to play with toys, before the next group of children can have their turn to play. I saw this issue a lot when I was doing my observations for my education classes while I was in college, and I wasn't quite sure how to address or go about the issue
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Cheryl Morris
Saint Louis MO
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