A number of years ago I conducted interviews with teacher-mommies, early childhood educators who had their own child in their classroom. I was also one of those educators. βΊοΈ
Here are some key findings.
1. Mom needs support from other teachers/supervisor to feel her feelings and to make a plan to support both child and herself.
2. Child needs support and the acknowledgement that their situation IS different as their mom doesn't leave, she is still in the room - or next door.
3. Consistent rituals and routines really help, as does communicating through your actions the belief that both child and parent are going to be ok. You can do it, is the message.
4. The younger the child, the longer it takes to adjust.
5. Each dyad responds uniquely as we are all individuals.
It sounds like you are working hard to support this situation. Good for you to not just assume it can't be done. All the moms I interviewed said it was ann opportunity they wouldn't give up, even though it was challenging, because they got to see their child learn to function in a group.
Good luck to all,
Dottie
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Dottie Bauer
Professor emerita
Keene State College
Antrim NH
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Original Message:
Sent: 06-16-2021 08:59 AM
From: Robert Gundling
Subject: Separation Anxiety
Hello Patricia,
As a former Administrator and Director of ECE programs, I appreciate your interest to support a new member of your staff and her infant as it sounds like they are both adjusting to your ECE program. A few thoughts for your consideration with this issue are:
- It sounds like the mom needs support in separating from her son. I imagine that during the past year the mom and her infant became close and the mom may have had limited opportunities to leave home resulting in a strong bond between the two of them. I sometimes had the parent leave the room and return in 5 minutes and then continued this procedure adding 5 minutes, as soon as possible. I also made sure a picture of the family was in the room and when the parent left, the other teacher would talk with the infant about how he/she felt and described the parents in the picture in the room.
- I would be doing written observations, as often as possible, of the behavior of the teacher and her son when she left the room and analyzing the observations to see what strategies were most effective to build a strong, trusting relationship with the other teacher(s) in the classroom.
- I would support the mom as she explores how she is feeling when she leaves and returns to the classroom and develop a plan to support her in getting comfortable with leaving her son with other teachers.
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Robert Gundling, Ed.D.
Better Futures LLC
Senior Consultant
Washington, DC
Original Message:
Sent: 06-14-2021 07:06 PM
From: Patricia Jack
Subject: Separation Anxiety
I hired an infant educarer several weeks ago. Her son just turned 1. He has had to be in her room because the 1s morning position is vacant. He has a classic case of separation anxiety when she goes on break. Having hired a floater, we are starting to bring him into the 1s to adjust him to the new room. Today he cried for a while on return to Mom. She feels lost when he cries. I know it's just a matter of time until we redirect his attention to new people. (I know this phase can last up until 23 months). Any ideas and experiences from those who have been in the caregiver-Mom/Director position would be appreciated.
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Patricia Jack
Owner/Director
Jack and the Beanstalk Child Care Center LLC
Boulder City NV
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