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crying child

  • 1.  crying child

    Posted 27 days ago
    We have a child that cries off and on all day. The child just turned 1 and till now has always stayed home with grandma, other than her 5 year old sister, she has been around no other children. She has now been attending here for right at a month.  Mom says she does not fuss at home, and they do not hold her all the time. She does not actually ever cry, she makes the crying noises (no tears) or any other signs of distress, even while she is playing with toys and other children. We cuddle her, have tried separating her to play away from other children (to see if it was anxiety being around other children) , involving her in play with other children,  among many other things. She just whimpers, as if she is crying, off and on all day. Does anybody else have any suggestions of things we can try? I just don't want this baby to be miserable all day, especially if there is something we can be doing to sooth her.
    Thanks in advance!

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    April Stephens-Taylor
    Strayhorn Preschool and Daycare
    Sarah MS
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  • 2.  RE: crying child

    Posted 26 days ago
    I would pick her up and take 3 relaxing  breaths.  Say "I'm here for you; you've got this!"
    You could ask her to take 3 deep breaths.
    When she will not, say, "I will breath for you" and do so.
    I learned this at an naeycAC from the amazing team at Conscious Discipline/Loving Guidance.

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    Patricia Jack
    Boulder City NV
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  • 3.  RE: crying child

    Posted 26 days ago
    Good morning April,
    As I was reading your concern, I was reminded of children we've cared for in the past.  I just wanted to ask you some questions and maybe the answers will give you some insight as to how best help the child.
    1.  Does the child participate in activities?  If so, what does she really click with and enjoy?  Does the whimpering stop when she is involved?
    2.  We all know that behavior like this never happens at home, right?  So, when you approached the parent was her reaction concern, defensive, or other?
    3.  Could the whimpering be a soothing mechanism for the child?  If so, what could be a stressor.....noise level in the classroom, is she non-mobile, is she fearful or slow to warm up?
    4.  Does the child attend full time?  (5 days/week at least 8 hours/day).  IF she attends less days or less hours, it could take her as much as time and a half longer to adjust than those who attend full time!

    So, those are my thoughts and if you want to answer them, maybe we can put our heads together and come up with some strategies not only to help the child, but to help you and the parent as well.

    Regards,

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    Shawn Wagner
    Owner/Director
    Kids' Campus Child Care
    Sweeny TX
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  • 4.  RE: crying child

    Posted 26 days ago
    Let's be sure that we know that this is a normal child. School is new, noisy, and otherwise different from home where she was comfortable. She needs to be treated as a frightened infant, cuddled, quietly, talked to softly, and by a person whose body is calm. Once she has developed a trusted relationship with a person, that person can introduce her to things to do.

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    Jack Wright
    Child Development Consultant
    Success With Children
    St Ignatius MT
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  • 5.  RE: crying child

    Posted 26 days ago
    This child attends 3 days a week/part time. She just turned 1, and does walk. Her mom says she doesn't fuss like this at home and doesn't seem overly concerned that she does it here. She participates in everything, she plays with other children, she does art projects, she eats all her meals and drinks, she comes to us and cuddles with us so she has warmed up to us, she shows no signs of being nervous, or over anxious, except for the whimpering. She whimpers constantly through all of her activities, there is no one activity that she whimpers more or less during. We have tried everything we can think of. We have kept her close, sat her in our laps to play, held her rocked her, told her she was ok while soothing her, breathed with her, gave her quiet time to play away from other children, read to her, sang to her, among many other things. We have had other children that cry and whimper but this one has my stumped, even when you catch her attention she whimpers. it is definitely a soothing mechanism. But we can not figure out from what? We have addressed the noise, the children, the bonding.......Could this all just be really bad separation anxiety? and we just have to keep doing what were doing? I just hate that she seems so miserable.

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    April Stephens-Taylor
    Strayhorn Preschool and Daycare
    Sarah MS
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  • 6.  RE: crying child

    Posted 26 days ago

    Thanks April, you answered all the questions.  The one the sticks out most to me is that she only attends 3 days per week.  I have found for those very young children, attending part time is generally difficult to adjust and takes twice as long and sometimes longer.  It sounds like everything else is "normal" and developmentally appropriate.  She isn't in pain, she isn't hungry or thirsty, and she is getting nurtured.  I suggest you continue on with what you are doing.  She will eventually adjust.

     

    My only other suggestion would be (if this would be an option), of course the mother would need to be on board with this 100%, get the child in the center 5 days a week for 2 to 3 weeks.  Encourage the mother to leave the child there for the better part of the day to give her the opportunity to adjust to the schedule and routine, get to know the teacher and children, and shorten the adjustment period.  If this isn't an option, then continue with what you are doing.  It sounds like you are doing everything right, it's just going to take her a little bit longer than others and that's ok!

     

    Make sure you wear your patience hat!!

     

    Shawn Wagner

    Kids' Campus Child Care

    Owner/Director

    979-548-3443

     






  • 7.  RE: crying child

    Posted 25 days ago
    Always love and patience with all our babies! Thank you so much for the reassurance. We were beginning to feel defeated. I will definitely continue communication with her parents. Thank you again


    Sent from AT&T Yahoo Mail for iPhone





  • 8.  RE: crying child

    Posted 24 days ago

    April:

    I wonder if she's overwhelmed by the sensory overload that sometimes comes with being part of a classroom.  Much more noise and activity than at home, lights, smells, so many new people--that's a lot for a little one to process.  Perhaps you could turn the lights down or off, not play background music or play some quiet, slow classical music for part of the morning, or hum with her.

    She's only been away from the safety of home for a very short time-- and each day might feel like the first for her. It does sound like her whimpering is a self-soothing strategy and I appreciate that she has one. Hopefully time will help to lessen her anxiety.  Let us know how she's doing.



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    Aren Stone
    Child Development Specialist
    The Early Years Project
    Cambridge, MA
    she/her
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  • 9.  RE: crying child

    Posted 26 days ago
    Mr. Wright,
    Thank you for pointing that out.  I had that in mind to say and totally forgot when I actually sat to type my comment!

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    Shawn Wagner
    Owner/Director
    Kids' Campus Child Care
    Sweeny TX
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  • 10.  RE: crying child

    Posted 25 days ago

    Hi. It could just be the child's coping mechanism.  

    they cry till they feel an attachment with someone in the class and feel comfortable with the environment. Also a block of everyday attendance is better as it creates a routine for the child.  Sometimes the absence from school and then the presence at school confuses a child especially if it's her first time. 

    I think it's a matter of time and she will settle.  Keep your and the moms energy positive as children pick up our vibes and at this point she needs an assuring and positive one. 



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    Shareen Ratnani
    Director
    Kiddie planet
    Jakarta
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