It's important to realize this is not some new issue in early childhood, and it does not have to be about pro-transgendered or anti. Educators have come up against this time and time again: parents are fine when a girl puts on a suit ("It's play! Maybe they want to be a business owner when they grow up!) but a few will freak out when a boy puts on a dress. Here are my thoughts and what I've learned from years in the classroom:
1. Putting on a dress or make-up does not indicate, or change, one's sexual preference. It simply does not.
2. Young children dress up as a dragon but very, very few will actually aspire to be a dragon.
3. Young children try on ideas, not just reflect on ideas. They act out what they see and that is how they work out ideas and make choices.
4. Most preschools are secular and should be making these decisions based on developmentally-appropriate practice. This includes planning for Open Choice / Free Play time, but also teachers interacting with children during this time. If a child is saying things that indicate they are emotionally struggling with their body or their identity, this can be discussed with your mental health consultant (anonymously) and if they feel it merits, then talk to the family. Wearing a dress, in itself, means nothing.
5. Families are important partners in the programs. This topic is not a "complaint at the door" kind of discussion. It merits a semi-formal talk between family, teacher, and maybe Family Worker. Both viewpoints can be shared and really listened to first, and points that are backed up by facts and research should be carefully explained. Then you can kick around solutions that both school and family can accept. Consider changing the types of dress-ups you have, or offer to observe the play to report on what the child says and does while in costume. Maybe this process will give them time to read some info or see some value in it. Maybe they will be surprised to see figures on how often boys wear a dress for fun in preschool. Get curious with them.
Of course, it is certainly possible for a child to have a "different plan" than others, if there is an absolute line in a family's beliefs. We would not offer pork to a Muslim child even if they were curious about trying it. We'd say, "Remember that in your family you do not eat pork. Your lunch plan today is XYZ foods. Looks really good, too..." We adjust celebrations to suit the families we serve, but for families who are Jehovah's Witnesses, we would make a special plan for their child to visit a different classroom for an hour, etc.
Let's not put adult social issues onto children unless it really belongs there. I try to always start with early childhood best practices, respectful communication, and culturally relevant, rich environments, then adjust as needed.
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Mars April Caulton
Teacher & Teaching Artist
Chicago IL
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Original Message:
Sent: 08-18-2018 01:15 AM
From: Angeline Duran
Subject: What are your thoughts on non-gender specific play areas and materials?
I agree that children should be allowed to choose what they want to play with. NAEYC also shares that we are to work with families, respect their beliefs and ways they have chosen to raise their child. With this said, as a leader or teacher, I would respect that parent's wish. I feel we are pushing this gender issue to an extreme and it has become something we are looking for. We want to see boys playing with girl items and girls playing with boy items. I say let them play as they want to play but if parents have a request, do not push the issue and do not make them feel bad for not wanting to be a part of accepting and being ok with the push to encourage non-gender specific play. Children choose on their own and they and they can be encouraged to choose. It's our job to provide the environment for them to choose without pushing our own agendas. If we are going to protect and respect one group, like the LGTB group, let us make those same efforts to protect and respect the heterosexual community and their families as well. Just my two cents on the question.
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Angeline Duran
NYC Early Childhood PDI
Keansburg NJ
Original Message:
Sent: 08-17-2018 04:52 PM
From: Crystal Sanford-Brown
Subject: What are your thoughts on non-gender specific play areas and materials?
In 2010, I was the Coordinator of the on-campus Children's Centers for the largest community college in the state of Michigan. I received a compliant from a parent of a preschool boy. This particular child enjoyed dress. ing in the pretend princess dresses, including the high heeled shoes.
The mother's complaint was that her son should never be allowed to wear or play with anything she deemed would be labeled for girls only, including dolls of any gender. She shared that if her son was allowed to continue to play with "toys for girls", he would choose a lifestyle in the LGBTQIA community.
I explained best practices in allowing children to play in non-gender specific areas. I highlighted articles regarding children at play without labels and gender limitations and a current book "My Princess Boy." I even invited the parent to view her child engaged at play in the observation window.
This parent had no interest in any of my approaches to share the value of allowing children to play and manipulate materials that interest them.
What are your thoughts on non-gender specific play areas and materials?
https://www.amazon.com/My-Princess-Boy-Cheryl-…/…/1442429887
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Crystal Darlene Sanford-Brown
Early Childhood Consultant
Ashance Associates
Bloomfld Hls MI
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