Open Discussion Forum

  • 1.  4 year old student dealing with new baby on the way

    Posted 03-31-2019 08:03 AM

    I am wondering if any of you have any suggestions for ideas I can do with my older PreK student whose household is expecting a new baby. They are having a bit of a hard time. I had forgotten about the fact that a new baby was on the way, when I began to see some "unkind" things being said by the student to other students (laughing at and calling another child who had been crying a baby, telling a student their artwork was ugly, etc...) I did know this was unusual behavior for them, and have been communicating openly with the parents.  They have seen some changes at home, too.

    A week ago we did a lesson around a few stories we had focused on throughout the week around characters who had lost something special, and at the end of the lesson each student was asked to draw a picture of one "special" object they had lost.  As the teaching staff were going around and dictating what the special item was for each child.

    When I reached this student, they said the special thing they lost was their baby crib.  

    It took me a second to realize-I started writing the dictation down on his paper- then, bam! I realized what they was saying.  I looked at them and they looked very sad. I asked them if their crib was being gotten ready to be used by a new baby coming, and they said yes.  I acknowledged how hard it can be to have the things that were ours, when we were little, being prepared to be used by a new baby. They was on the verge of crying.  I kept validating, but also mentioned to them, that they are big now, they don’t really have to use a crib anymore, and they are being such a kind, caring older sibling by letting their new baby get used to it.   I went right back to validating their feelings after that, and told them if they ever feet sad or worried about anything with the new baby coming that they could come talk to me or the other teachers. I told them  it’s okay to feel sad, and we are here for them, and want to help them when they feel that way.

    I am wondering, though, if there might be something more I can do for the student.  I did think of getting the book "Peter's Chair" back out, as that is very much along the lines of what he and other students might be  dealing with when a new sibling is on the way.

    What I am really looking for some activities or other lessons I might be able to do either with the whole class, or just one on one with this student (maybe help give them some one-on-one time, since I am sure they are worried about losing some of that with their parents).  


    Any ideas?  I did also print out a few resources (suggested books, and articles- that I have attached to this post) for the parents.

    Thank for any ideas, thoughts, and feedback you can provide.  You all have always been so helpful! I really appreciate your time!

    Heidi

    ------------------------------
    Heidi Van Amburg
    PreK Teacher
    Primrose School of St. Louis Park West
    Crystal MN
    ------------------------------


  • 2.  RE: 4 year old student dealing with new baby on the way

    Posted 04-01-2019 04:24 PM

    Heidi:

    It's so important that you took the time to let him know that you understand and honor his feelings.  That will go a long way towards self-regulation for him, I'm sure.  Another great book is  On Mother's Lap by Ann Herbert Scott.  It has beautiful drawings of a mother, child, and baby and it addresses the fundamental issue of a child feeling like they're losing their mother.  And it does it in a beautifully meditative way with no overt instructing or preaching.  

    I often noticed this my three year olds but haven't seen it addressed much--kids this age can get worried about their mothers.  Their mother's body is changing and though children know intellectually that the reason is that there's a baby growing there they can worry that there's something wrong with their mother, especially if they're thinking about her going to the hospital.  So you might watch for this and reassure him that his mom is okay.



    ------------------------------
    Aren Stone
    Child Development Specialist
    The Early Years Project
    Cambridge, MA
    she/her
    ------------------------------