Hello all,
As Arren said, consent is being taught through our day-to-day interactions, even if it isn't explicitly taught. As parents and educators, our most important job is to keep children safe. The children also have a role in helping us keep everyone safe and creating a space where interdependence is key to creating a loving learning community. Parents get stuck on using polite words at all turns (please, thank you, etc.) and reinforce saying, please stop and no thank you. Yes, these are important phrases for young children to learn, and they can also diminish the power of the words NO and STOP. At back-to-school night, we let families know the importance of the children understanding if someone is hurting your heart or body, they do not need to be polite. Learning how to say NO assertively and STOP assertively is important. Both words are complete sentences and do not need explanation.
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Elizabeth Lasher
Early Childhood Teacher-Program Director
Almaden Country Day School
San Jose CA
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Original Message:
Sent: 04-20-2021 10:54 AM
From: Monica Vazquez
Subject: How do you teach preschoolers about Consent?
Aren, correctly naming genitals is so important. I wish we get rid of all the cutesy names. If a person can't feel comfortable saying the name of their privates, then it makes it less likely, in a situation where they were abused, that they would communicate the fact that they were touched. I love that you teach to speak directly. Being direct isn't something that comes naturally to me but it is definitely something that would be helpful to my students. Thanks for sharing that.
We're teaching one or the other constantly.
I think the wrong way is taught way more than the right way. Teaching consent isn't mainstream yet.
Thanks for the links!
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Monica
Pre-K Teacher
CA
Original Message:
Sent: 04-17-2021 11:20 AM
From: Aren Stone
Subject: How do you teach preschoolers about Consent?
Monica:
Yes--everyone needs to learn about consent. And as educators, and as parents, we teach consent throughout the day, every day, even when we don't label it as such. We teach Sex Education 101 from infancy. We teach this when we change a baby's diaper and explain what we are doing as we change them, "I'm putting diaper cream on you now so you don't get a rash. Closing up the diaper!" We teach this during toilet learning when we give the correct names for genitals. We teach it every time we help a child towards independence and self-help because we give them agency over their own bodies, When we support children to ask another child if they want a hug and that part of the hug is letting go, we're teaching consent. When we teach children to set their own boundaries by using direct language such as, "Don't push me." or "Stop, I'm using that. Don't take it." or "I need more space now." we're teaching them consent. I advocate for teaching children clear and direct language rather than vague language such as "I don't like that." or the dreaded "No, thank you."
The flip side is teaching them that their consent doesn't matter, that their sense of self doesn't matter. We teach this when we tell children to hug each other, to hug or kiss us. We teach this as parents when we insist that a child hugs or accepts hugs from other adults. We're teaching one or the other constantly.
Some good articles:
https://www.talkwithyourkids.org/lets-talk-about/healthy-sex-talk-teaching-kids-consent-ages-1-21.html
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/no-means-no-especially-when-it-comes-from-a-child_b_6616288
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Aren Stone
she/her/hers
Child Development Specialist
The Early Years Project
Cambridge, MA
Original Message:
Sent: 04-15-2021 07:32 PM
From: Monica Vazquez
Subject: How do you teach preschoolers about Consent?
I was never taught about consent. I feel like even to this day, consent is something that people feel uncomfortable discussing with children. This is a huge shame because it's something every human being should know. I want my kids to feel empowered. I want to give them the tools to be safe. So, I come to you to help me figure out how to go about doing this. Please give me all the info you're willing to share with me.
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Monica
Pre-K Teacher
CA
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