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Teachers getting close to Parents

  • 1.  Teachers getting close to Parents

    Posted 02-25-2021 12:49 AM
    Do you think it is ok for teachers to text or facebook with parents after work?  I always let parents know that they can come to the Director or Owner with any questions. I believe they have gotten use to some of the teachers texting them, they just text teachers or ask them questions on facebook. I do not think this is professional. I know that what teachers do outside of work is their business. One teacher text a parent to see if she was going to bring stuff for a student's party and she told her if she wasn't, she would take care of everything for her party. So this was really nice but we were clueless.

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    Terry Whitworth
    FCCH Provider & Center Director
    Kids Cabin
    Cherryville NC
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  • 2.  RE: Teachers getting close to Parents

    Posted 02-26-2021 12:59 AM
    I do not feel it is appropriate to text or share Facebook pages with parents. I realize with COVID restrictions people feel more connected through those mediums. However, I think teachers and assistants need to maintain a professional relationship with parents. I only give my work email to my parents and they are welcome to communicate through that. I also tell my parents they will get a reply from me within 24 hours. I feel it is important to keep a paper trail of communication also. Email allows you to do that.

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    Laurie Jackson
    Retired teacher
    New Bern NC
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  • 3.  RE: Teachers getting close to Parents

    Posted 02-26-2021 03:09 AM
    No teachers should not get too close to parents because familiarity breeds contempt. That means getting too knowledgeable with someone or some thing individual can lose respect.

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    Lee Garner
    Teacher/Tutor
    Garner Tutoring Service
    Calumet City IL
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  • 4.  RE: Teachers getting close to Parents

    Posted 02-26-2021 09:00 AM
    Hi Terry,
    I agree that we need to use caution in regards to professional boundaries with the parents that we serve. Forming those personal relationships in a classroom setting has the potential to create problems related to presumed "favoritism". For instance, in the case of your teacher contacting a parent regarding the party it may appear to other parents that this teacher was offering favors that may not have been universally available. It raises a concern of equitability and can be a very fine/blurry line to walk.

    With that being said, there is, a potential caveat to consider. In order to truly provide high quality services, we need to meet parents where they are at and sometimes that might mean flexibility. In lower-income families, there may be concrete needs or barriers that prevent typical communication. For instance, limited access to a phone (no cell phone at all, or pre-paid with limited minutes) or reliance on public sources for internet (for example a library or Mcdonalds wifi). For an urgent question or concern, e-mail may not be functional because it takes too long to get a response. In this type of situation, accepting a facebook message may be the best way to meet that parent "where they are at."  

    I spent several years as a home-based early intervention specialist - which meant that my primary source of contact with families was in person, or via text and phone calls. My work with them depended on building that personal relationship and connection so that they were comfortable sharing information and concerns openly. Sometimes that meant communicating after hours and in unusual ways. It was not uncommon to send/receive a text message in the evening to confirm our next day's session and what confirm any supplies that may be needed.  In my case, that professional boundary was not so much based on the form and time of communications, but on social relationships. I was always cautious to ensure that families understood where that line was. For instance, I answered phone calls and texts after hours (within reason) if it was related to the child or a need for emergency support but we did not engage socially (non child-related conversations, attending their child's birthday parties etc.).

    I think that you as a program director, are in a position where you get to decide on where that boundary lies based on the needs of your families. If there are any special circumstances those can be addressed on a case-by-case basis.

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    Megan Brooks
    Behavior Coach/Early Intervention Specialist/Special Educator
    St. Lawrence County, NY
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  • 5.  RE: Teachers getting close to Parents

    Posted 02-26-2021 09:05 AM
    Hello all, I have used text in the past to communicate with parents, the school did not have any sort of communication app, and I found that parents responded better through text. At this time parent involvement was critical to the class as they were supporting the children's work, such as materials, volunteering, and events. We also had an outdoor classroom and garden that required parents to help support regularly. Monthly we would have field trips outside of school hours sometimes to work in the garden and other times to visit places of interest to the children. Needless to say deep relationships were built through these experiences, many that are still strong today after many years. So I think it can be a beautiful thing to be close with the families, we just always had the focus on all the children. I have seen fb and some personal conversations turn into "drama" so it's important to know yourself, are you able to keep the relationship about the children and are you able to quickly and directly address a parent that may take things in another direction. All that being said there are so many great apps that schools use that notify parents immediately to their phones, so that may be just as effective.

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    Michelle Banks
    Preschool Specialist
    Kenneth City FL
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  • 6.  RE: Teachers getting close to Parents

    Posted 02-26-2021 10:57 AM
    Hi, Terry,

    This is one of so many areas where technology got ahead of the divide between work and home. it can definitely be intrusive and unprofessional - but we have to accept that texting has many advantages and it's also the medium parents use most.
    I suggest a policy where text messages between staff and parents are copied to the director and kept in the family's file. Make sure both parent and teacher are aware of that policy. that really helps to keep it professional.
    Best of luck and thanks for your commitment to the children and families!
    Have a great day,
    Hazel Osborn, M.A.

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    Hazel Osborn
    Consultant
    Loveland CO
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  • 7.  RE: Teachers getting close to Parents

    Posted 02-26-2021 07:46 PM
    Hello. Thank you all for your responses. You all gave me something to think about. You also made me look at things from all perspectives. I love what I do but running a childcare facility can be challenging.  Thanks again!

    Terry Whitworth

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    Terry Whitworth
    FCCH Provider & Center Director
    Kids Cabin
    Cherryville NC
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  • 8.  RE: Teachers getting close to Parents

    Posted 02-27-2021 09:17 AM
    Hi Terry,

    One more thought about this... I think it's much more about 'how' we engage with families vs the actual policies or permitted means (texting, social media, child care apps, email, etc).

    I found this NAEYC article to be really helpful on the subject: Focus on Ethics. Professional Boundaries in Early Childhood Education

    Thank YOU for being a force of good for the children, families and faculty you serve!

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    Erin Murray
    Education Consultant
    Moorestown, NJ
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  • 9.  RE: Teachers getting close to Parents

    Posted 02-27-2021 10:40 AM
    Hello Erin,

    Oh wow! Thank you for sharing  Focus on Ethics. Professional Boundaries in Early Childhood Education. I enjoyed reading this. This was really to the point. I think this is something all Owners/Directors and facilities should have on hand. 

    Terry Whitworth

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    Terry Whitworth
    FCCH Provider & Center Director
    Kids Cabin
    Cherryville NC
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  • 10.  RE: Teachers getting close to Parents

    Posted 02-27-2021 12:08 PM
    Agreed, and I'm happy you found it helpful! When I searched the NAEYC website for "Focus on Ethics," I found a wealth of great articles including this one, Focus on Ethics: Smartphones and Social Media - Ethical Implications for Educators

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    Erin Murray
    Education Consultant
    Moorestown, NJ
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  • 11.  RE: Teachers getting close to Parents

    Posted 02-28-2021 10:19 AM
    This can be a tough area to police, especially with a focus on building community within your program.  We are part of a larger school, so we have many parents who are colleagues of ours, have had previous children in our classes, or may be outside friends with our teachers.  I certainly see the need to set boundaries for communication regarding school items, but I also want our teachers to continue to be a part of the school community.  In addition, several of my teachers are also parents in other parts of the school, so they deserve to have a parent-to-parent relationship with the peers of their own children.

    I like the idea of being copied on messages between families and teachers regarding school items, but I would find it hard to bar out-of school communication completely.

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    Holly Dalferes
    Director
    George Cottage at St Martin's Episcopal School
    Metairie LA
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  • 12.  RE: Teachers getting close to Parents

    Posted 02-27-2021 02:00 PM
    On my first job in the field of ECE, those types of connections were highly discouraged. The reasoning was that as practitioners we are professionals, when we engage with families in such intimate ways we are often looked upon as mere babysitters. There was an incident when a co-worker discussed one family with another family. This co- worker said some derogatory things about the family. What the co-worker didn't know was that the families were best buddies and it cost the co-worker their job. I think err on the side of professionalism.

    Debra S.





  • 13.  RE: Teachers getting close to Parents

    Posted 02-27-2021 08:02 PM
    Debra,

    I agree with you. You stated a very good point. Some Teachers communicate professionally with Parents and some just talk too much. There is no other way to say it. I know we all have a life outside of work but you need to be careful because you could make the center look bad. When I was an infant teacher, Parents would call the facility to ask questions about their child and the Director would bring the phone to me. They did not have my cell number. I was happy to assist during childcare hours. I also sent notes home each day. 

    Terry

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    Terry Whitworth
    FCCH Provider & Center Director
    Kids Cabin
    Cherryville NC
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  • 14.  RE: Teachers getting close to Parents

    Posted 03-01-2021 01:40 AM
    Hi Terry,
    I understand your concern with texting and Facebook being too personal. However, both forms of communication helped me foster great relationships with families. Texting was my number one way of communicating with my families. The daycare doesn't have any Apps that we could use to communicate with the parents so I took it upon myself to give parents my phone number. The parents and I did not text each other to "hang out" or anything inappropriate for a teacher parent relationship, but if they had any questions or concerns, they were able to reach me via phone. As an infant teacher, I noticed that all parents wanted pictures and daily updates during the day. Even though I provided them with daily report handouts at the end of everyday, they still wanted the immediate communication of text messaging. 

    Currently, I just started a Google Classroom for my 2s and 3s class because it'll be easier to post photos and announcements there for all families to see. Everyone is excited and thankful that we'll have this form of communication. Additionally, I gave them my phone number and email just in case they had any questions or concerns.

    Building these relationships with parents especially in the ECE field is so important. I understand that becoming Facebook friends is a bit taboo and unprofessional, but all of us love to see what's happening with each other when school is not in session. From being friends on Facebook, I learned that one of my students recently joined a soccer team and another student enjoys baking at home with her mom. These little things help us get a step closer to our students and helps us establish lasting and meaningful relationships with them and their parents/guardians. I love the relationships I have with my students' families and don't regret any of the decisions I've made over the years. 

    Thank you all for sharing your perspectives. I enjoyed reading everyone's views on this topic. 

    Sincerely,

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    Brianna Lombardo
    Assistant Director
    Little Hands and Feet Day Care LLC
    Brooklyn, NY
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