Hi Kimberly,
I can tell this is frustrating to you and your teachers and that help is needed right away. I can see how it is escalating, and I can see that it appears children over time are becoming more and more challenging. However, you really can have a caring community of learners at your center, regardless of what parents do at home. Here are my suggestions.
1. Look into getting trained on the pyramid model. Here is a link to the website, but individual states may have their own trainings for this.
http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/resources/strategies.html At least there are many helps on that website if you can't find trainings. If your state participates in a Quality Rating and Improvement System (QRIS), there is often a coach provided to help with challenging behaviors who can "coach" you on implementing various aspects of the pyramid model.
2. Don't expect parents to solve their child's behavior problems from home. I've noticed parents feel helpless about correcting behavior problems after the fact, when they are stuck at work and cannot help their child in the moment of the behavior problem, and they can't see what is going on or see the whole picture. Talking with them about respecting authority is one part of the process, but it cannot do as much good as what you and the teachers can do.
3. My top suggestion is to work on the relationship of the teachers with the children, rather than ignoring problems hoping to extinguish them. I'm not much of a behaviorist, so I don't like rewards or praise for good behavior. Getting a climate and feeling in the classrooms of loving and caring for each other will help heal the turmoil going on inside the children who are acting out more than rewards can. Once children realize how much the teachers love and care about them, they can become true friends and advocates for the teacher. This is hard for the teachers to have to start this when some children are very disrespectful. Teachers might hope that the child can be respectful first, and then the teacher can be loving and kind, but the teachers are the adults and need to make the first move toward this. It will be hard at first, and I am not assuming the teachers are not loving and kind, but the part that helps most is to focus on that one aspect, despite how hard the obstacles are.
4. The next part of the pyramid that goes hand and hand with relationships is the environment. Have a coach look over the environment with you to see what problem areas can be eliminated. For younger children, having multiples of toys they all want helps to eliminate problems with sharing and turn taking. Also make sure there are quiet places where children can go to be alone if they are feeling overwhelmed. Create a calm down corner for children to voluntarily go to when then need a break. Teachers should not send them there and make it a time out. Children know and will go there on their own when being alone is what they need. Have calming things in the calm down corner can really help, such as a pinwheel to blow, a sand time, sensory bottles, laminated cards that have picture ideas for ways to solve problems (the website has some you can use), find and seek rice bag, etc. Also make sure there are soft places, such as soft furniture, stuffed animals, blankets in the housekeeping area, etc. Be sure there is at least 35 square feet per child, but more than 50 feet is recommended. This does not count areas that have furniture or toy shelves, etc. It needs to be useable space for children to play. Have protected areas for various areas, such as shelves protecting the block area so children are not running through and knocking over other children's block towers. Observe the environment during these problem times to see what in the environment can be causing the problem. It might even be lighting, or being the room is too hot or too cold. Another thing about the environment to consider is when breakfast, meals and snacks are served. Is there more than 2-3 hours between food being served? Maybe some of the children are hungry. Is there enough for children to eat at these food service times? Are they getting enough protein to sustain them from breakfast? You can substitute a protein for the grain at breakfast, or you can just add it. Is nap time calming or is it also a challenging time? Children need to feel calm to fall asleep. Children and adults have a harder time with behavior when they are tired or hungry.
5. The next level up the pyramid is where it really helps the difficult children. Doing the bottom level, which is relationships and environment ,helps eliminate most challenging behaviors. However, if some persist, this next level has you create specific helps for specific children. Visual schedules really help. Having a picture of what happens during the day helps children who have difficulties with transition. Be sure you are saying when there are 5 minutes left before the next activity so the children can prepare mentally for the transition. Keep the schedule and routine as consistent as possible. The website has a lot of ideas for various different situations. Also keep the fun happening so you keep the majority engaged so you can handle the difficult children. Be sure you are rotating different toys in and out so the environment looks new and inviting and stimulating each week.
6. The top of the pyramid is for the few children who need extra services, such as a counselor or therapist or intensive intervention. This is for children who have been through abuse or have special needs of some sort.
I could type for a long time, but check out your state's QRIS services and join that program if it is offered and get a coach. Read all the helps on the website link above.
One more thing is I have seen teachers tell kids, "Use your words," but it needs to be more than that. Stand by a child who is having a problem and needs to say words. Coach the child on what to say. Get down on their level and put an arm on their shoulder or around them so they feel supported. Here is what I say with 2-year-olds, and it works great up to 4 and 5 year olds too.
"Johnny, let's hand that truck back to Billy. Let me help you know what to say instead of just taking it. Ask Billy, 'Can I play with that truck?' (Then I tell Billy he can say yes or no). "Johnny, Billy said no. Can you ask Billy when he will be done with it? Ok, he said he'll be done in a little while. Ask if he can give it to you when he is done."
What I've noticed is that since Billy knows Johnny wants it, he will play just a little while with it and then hand it to Johnny.
I think once you do these things and read the website you will get it down to manageable behavior. Do check with your state about your QRIS. See if you can get a coach who knows the pyramid model well. Offer trainings to your teachers on the pyramid model. Watch the videos on the website and make the materials and ideas on it. I'd like to know how it turns out. Write a follow-up once you begin implementing it!
DeAnn Jones
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DeAnn Jones
Co-Facilitator for the Family Child Care Interest Forum
Discovery Place Child Care, LLC
Bozeman, MT
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Original Message:
Sent: 12-09-2019 06:22 PM
From: Kimberly Whitenack
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.
Hello Everyone! I am looking for some guidance in dealing with behavioral problems and getting parents on board to help the teachers with some of our 3-5 year old classes. The classes are divided by age, have 2 teachers at all times, and have anywhere from 15-20 students. We have several children within those classes who hit, scratch, kick, punch their peers and teachers and some just flat out disrespect any authority. While I understand some of this is developmentally appropriate as they are learning to use words to express themselves, however, for some kids this is a constant behavior. The teachers are very qualified and doing everything in their power to combat the situations. They are redirecting, rewarding/praising students when they do make positive choices, trying to ignore the behavior at times to see if it attention related, we have several sensory and hands on activities to try and keep them busy, we encourage them to use words and not their hands, feet, etc. and we try to give those classes extra help but that isn't always possible. In return this takes away from time doing fun things with the other students and getting certain activities compeleted. Plus, some of the well-behaved students are starting to mimic the other students behavior to get attention. The teachers are becoming frustrated at the lack of care or concern from parents to follow up at home about respecting authority and needing to be kind to others. Most of the parents of the ones acting out have the attitude of "I am at work and they are in your care during those hours so you should just deal with it. It's not my problem and they don't do that at home" or "Yeah we struggle with the same thing at home too. We just don't know what to do." I also have teachers who are getting frustrated from being hit, kicked and scratched, etc. almost daily. At what point as administration do we dismiss children, how long do we continue to deal with and keep talking to parents who are defeated or don't care. Also, I want the teachers to fill supported and backed from administration in these situations, but also how much simply is "normal" and they need to learn different ways to "cope" with the behavior. I have been in both settings teaching and administration. I have had terrible years where I had shoes thrown at me, pinched, kicked, etc. So I understand their frustration, but it seems like this is becoming more and more in society and parents seem to care less and less and be less involved. No one seems to know the politically correct way to handle the situation in talking with other Directors in the area. Please note this is not every familiy we have in our center. We do have many sweet and caring familes. I don't want to make it sound like it is all bad. At the end of the day we love all of our students and families, but we want what is best and safe for them and our teachers. Any advice is much appreciated!
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Kimberly
Assistant Director
Virginia
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