Open Discussion Forum

Hello Everyone! I am looking for some guidance in dealing with behavioral problems and getting parents on board to help the teachers with some of our 3-5 year old classes. The classes are divided by age, have 2 teachers at all times, and have anywhere from 15-20 students.  We have several children within those classes who hit, scratch, kick, punch their peers and teachers and some just flat out disrespect any authority. While I understand some of this is developmentally appropriate as they are learning to use words to express themselves, however, for some kids this is a constant behavior. The teachers are very qualified and doing everything in their power to combat the situations. They are redirecting, rewarding/praising students when they do make positive choices, trying to ignore the behavior at times to see if it attention related, we have several sensory and hands on activities to try and keep them busy, we encourage them to use words and not their hands, feet, etc. and we try to give those classes extra help but that isn't always possible. In return this takes away from time doing fun things with the other students and getting certain activities compeleted. Plus, some of the well-behaved students are starting to mimic the other students behavior to get attention. The teachers are becoming frustrated at the lack of care or concern from parents to follow up at home about respecting authority and needing to be kind to others. Most of the parents of the ones acting out have the attitude of "I am at work and they are in your care during those hours so you should just deal with it. It's not my problem and they don't do that at home"  or "Yeah we struggle with the same thing at home too. We just don't know what to do." I also have teachers who are getting frustrated from being hit, kicked and scratched, etc. almost daily. At what point as administration do we dismiss children, how long do we continue to deal with and keep talking to parents who are defeated or don't care. Also, I want the teachers to fill supported and backed from administration in these situations, but also how much simply is "normal" and they need to learn different ways to "cope" with the behavior. I have been in both settings teaching and administration. I have had terrible years where I had shoes thrown at me, pinched, kicked, etc. So I understand their frustration, but it seems like this is becoming more and more in society and parents seem to care less and less and be less involved. No one seems to know the politically correct way to handle the situation in talking with other Directors in the area. Please note this is not every familiy we have in our center. We do have many sweet and caring familes. I don't want to make it sound like it is all bad. At the end of the day we love all of our students and families, but we want what is best and safe for them and our teachers. Any advice is much appreciated!

------------------------------
Kimberly
Assistant Director
Virginia
------------------------------

Hi Kimberly,

I can tell this is frustrating to you and your teachers and that help is needed right away.  I can see how it is escalating, and I can see that it appears children over time are becoming more and more challenging.  However, you really can have a caring community of learners at your center, regardless of what parents do at home.  Here are my suggestions.

1.  Look into getting trained on the pyramid model.  Here is a link to the website, but individual states may have their own trainings for this. http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/resources/strategies.html   At least there are many helps on that website if you can't find trainings.  If your state participates in a Quality Rating and Improvement System (QRIS), there is often a coach provided to help with challenging behaviors who can "coach" you on implementing various aspects of the pyramid model.  

2.  Don't expect parents to solve their child's behavior problems from home.  I've noticed parents feel helpless about correcting behavior problems after the fact, when they are stuck at work and cannot help their child in the moment of the behavior problem, and they can't see what is going on or see the whole picture.  Talking with them about respecting authority is one part of the process, but it cannot do as much good as what you and the teachers can do.

3.  My top suggestion is to work on the relationship of the teachers with the children, rather than ignoring problems hoping to extinguish them.  I'm not much of a behaviorist, so I don't like rewards or praise for good behavior.  Getting a climate and feeling in the classrooms of loving and caring for each other will help heal the turmoil going on inside the children who are acting out more than rewards can.  Once children realize how much the teachers love and care about them, they can become true friends and advocates for the teacher.  This is hard for the teachers to have to start this when some children are very disrespectful.  Teachers might hope that the child can be respectful first, and then the teacher can be loving and kind, but the teachers are the adults and need to make the first move toward this.  It will be hard at first, and I am not assuming the teachers are not loving and kind, but the part that helps most is to focus on that one aspect, despite how hard the obstacles are.

4.  The next part of the pyramid that goes hand and hand with relationships is the environment.  Have a coach look over the environment with you to see what problem areas can be eliminated. For younger children, having multiples of toys they all want helps to eliminate problems with sharing and turn taking.  Also make sure there are quiet places where children can go to be alone if they are feeling overwhelmed.  Create a calm down corner for children to voluntarily go to when then need a break.  Teachers should not send them there and make it a time out.  Children know and will go there on their own when being alone is what they need.  Have calming things in the calm down corner can really help, such as a pinwheel to blow, a sand time, sensory bottles, laminated cards that have picture ideas for ways to solve problems (the website has some you can use), find and seek rice bag, etc.  Also make sure there are soft places, such as soft furniture, stuffed animals, blankets in the housekeeping area, etc.  Be sure there is at least 35 square feet per child, but more than 50 feet is recommended.  This does not count areas that have furniture or toy shelves, etc.  It needs to be useable space for children to play.  Have protected areas for various areas, such as shelves protecting the block area so children are not running through and knocking over other children's block towers.  Observe the environment during these problem times to see what in the environment can be causing the problem. It might even be lighting, or being the room is too hot or too cold.  Another thing about the environment to consider is when breakfast, meals and snacks are served.  Is there more than 2-3 hours between food being served?  Maybe some of the children are hungry.  Is there enough for children to eat at these food service times?  Are they getting enough protein to sustain them from breakfast?  You can substitute a protein for the grain at breakfast, or you can just add it.  Is nap time calming or is it also a challenging time?  Children need to feel calm to fall asleep.  Children and adults have a harder time with behavior when they are tired or hungry. 

5.  The next level up the pyramid is where it really helps the difficult children.  Doing the bottom level, which is relationships and environment ,helps eliminate most challenging behaviors.  However, if some persist, this next level has you create specific helps for specific children.  Visual schedules really help.  Having a picture of what happens during the day helps children who have difficulties with transition.  Be sure you are saying when there are 5 minutes left before the next activity so the children can prepare mentally for the transition.  Keep the schedule and routine as consistent as possible.  The website has a lot of ideas for various different situations.  Also keep the fun happening so you keep the majority engaged so you can handle the difficult children.  Be sure you are rotating different toys in and out so the environment looks new and inviting and stimulating each week.

6.  The top of the pyramid is for the few children who need extra services, such as a counselor or therapist or intensive intervention.  This is for children who have been through abuse or have special needs of some sort.  

I could type for a long time, but check out your state's QRIS services and join that program if it is offered and get a coach.  Read all the helps on the website link above. 
One more thing is I have seen teachers tell kids, "Use your words," but it needs to be more than that.  Stand by a child who is having a problem and needs to say words.  Coach the child on what to say.  Get down on their level and put an arm on their shoulder or around them so they feel supported.  Here is what I say with 2-year-olds, and it works great up to 4 and 5 year olds too.  

"Johnny, let's hand that truck back to Billy. Let me help you know what to say instead of just taking it.  Ask Billy, 'Can I play with that truck?'  (Then I tell Billy he can say yes or no).  "Johnny, Billy said no.  Can you ask Billy when he will be done with it?  Ok, he said he'll be done in a little while.  Ask if he can give it to you when he is done."  
What I've noticed is that since Billy knows Johnny wants it, he will play just a little while with it and then hand it to Johnny.  

I think once you do these things and read the website you will get it down to manageable behavior.  Do check with your state about your QRIS.  See if you can get a coach who knows the pyramid model well.  Offer trainings to your teachers on the pyramid model.  Watch the videos on the website and make the materials and ideas on it.  I'd like to know how it turns out.  Write a follow-up once you begin implementing it!

DeAnn Jones


------------------------------
DeAnn Jones
Co-Facilitator for the Family Child Care Interest Forum
Discovery Place Child Care, LLC
Bozeman, MT
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 12-09-2019 06:22 PM
From: Kimberly Whitenack
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

Hello Everyone! I am looking for some guidance in dealing with behavioral problems and getting parents on board to help the teachers with some of our 3-5 year old classes. The classes are divided by age, have 2 teachers at all times, and have anywhere from 15-20 students.  We have several children within those classes who hit, scratch, kick, punch their peers and teachers and some just flat out disrespect any authority. While I understand some of this is developmentally appropriate as they are learning to use words to express themselves, however, for some kids this is a constant behavior. The teachers are very qualified and doing everything in their power to combat the situations. They are redirecting, rewarding/praising students when they do make positive choices, trying to ignore the behavior at times to see if it attention related, we have several sensory and hands on activities to try and keep them busy, we encourage them to use words and not their hands, feet, etc. and we try to give those classes extra help but that isn't always possible. In return this takes away from time doing fun things with the other students and getting certain activities compeleted. Plus, some of the well-behaved students are starting to mimic the other students behavior to get attention. The teachers are becoming frustrated at the lack of care or concern from parents to follow up at home about respecting authority and needing to be kind to others. Most of the parents of the ones acting out have the attitude of "I am at work and they are in your care during those hours so you should just deal with it. It's not my problem and they don't do that at home"  or "Yeah we struggle with the same thing at home too. We just don't know what to do." I also have teachers who are getting frustrated from being hit, kicked and scratched, etc. almost daily. At what point as administration do we dismiss children, how long do we continue to deal with and keep talking to parents who are defeated or don't care. Also, I want the teachers to fill supported and backed from administration in these situations, but also how much simply is "normal" and they need to learn different ways to "cope" with the behavior. I have been in both settings teaching and administration. I have had terrible years where I had shoes thrown at me, pinched, kicked, etc. So I understand their frustration, but it seems like this is becoming more and more in society and parents seem to care less and less and be less involved. No one seems to know the politically correct way to handle the situation in talking with other Directors in the area. Please note this is not every familiy we have in our center. We do have many sweet and caring familes. I don't want to make it sound like it is all bad. At the end of the day we love all of our students and families, but we want what is best and safe for them and our teachers. Any advice is much appreciated!

------------------------------
Kimberly
Assistant Director
Virginia
------------------------------

The CSEFEL site has not been updated in years. the researchers have been working out of the NCPMI, National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations https://challengingbehavior.cbcs.usf.edu/index.html
this site is updated. there have been revisions based on more current research &what hasn't been updated is linked to CSFEL



------------------------------
DEBORAH Collette-Cromp
Teacher/Trainer/Consultant/Coach
Teaching Improves Performance
Malone NY
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 12-10-2019 01:50 AM
From: DeAnn Jones
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

Hi Kimberly,

I can tell this is frustrating to you and your teachers and that help is needed right away.  I can see how it is escalating, and I can see that it appears children over time are becoming more and more challenging.  However, you really can have a caring community of learners at your center, regardless of what parents do at home.  Here are my suggestions.

1.  Look into getting trained on the pyramid model.  Here is a link to the website, but individual states may have their own trainings for this. http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/resources/strategies.html   At least there are many helps on that website if you can't find trainings.  If your state participates in a Quality Rating and Improvement System (QRIS), there is often a coach provided to help with challenging behaviors who can "coach" you on implementing various aspects of the pyramid model.

2.  Don't expect parents to solve their child's behavior problems from home.  I've noticed parents feel helpless about correcting behavior problems after the fact, when they are stuck at work and cannot help their child in the moment of the behavior problem, and they can't see what is going on or see the whole picture.  Talking with them about respecting authority is one part of the process, but it cannot do as much good as what you and the teachers can do.

3.  My top suggestion is to work on the relationship of the teachers with the children, rather than ignoring problems hoping to extinguish them.  I'm not much of a behaviorist, so I don't like rewards or praise for good behavior.  Getting a climate and feeling in the classrooms of loving and caring for each other will help heal the turmoil going on inside the children who are acting out more than rewards can.  Once children realize how much the teachers love and care about them, they can become true friends and advocates for the teacher.  This is hard for the teachers to have to start this when some children are very disrespectful.  Teachers might hope that the child can be respectful first, and then the teacher can be loving and kind, but the teachers are the adults and need to make the first move toward this.  It will be hard at first, and I am not assuming the teachers are not loving and kind, but the part that helps most is to focus on that one aspect, despite how hard the obstacles are.

4.  The next part of the pyramid that goes hand and hand with relationships is the environment.  Have a coach look over the environment with you to see what problem areas can be eliminated. For younger children, having multiples of toys they all want helps to eliminate problems with sharing and turn taking.  Also make sure there are quiet places where children can go to be alone if they are feeling overwhelmed.  Create a calm down corner for children to voluntarily go to when then need a break.  Teachers should not send them there and make it a time out.  Children know and will go there on their own when being alone is what they need.  Have calming things in the calm down corner can really help, such as a pinwheel to blow, a sand time, sensory bottles, laminated cards that have picture ideas for ways to solve problems (the website has some you can use), find and seek rice bag, etc.  Also make sure there are soft places, such as soft furniture, stuffed animals, blankets in the housekeeping area, etc.  Be sure there is at least 35 square feet per child, but more than 50 feet is recommended.  This does not count areas that have furniture or toy shelves, etc.  It needs to be useable space for children to play.  Have protected areas for various areas, such as shelves protecting the block area so children are not running through and knocking over other children's block towers.  Observe the environment during these problem times to see what in the environment can be causing the problem. It might even be lighting, or being the room is too hot or too cold.  Another thing about the environment to consider is when breakfast, meals and snacks are served.  Is there more than 2-3 hours between food being served?  Maybe some of the children are hungry.  Is there enough for children to eat at these food service times?  Are they getting enough protein to sustain them from breakfast?  You can substitute a protein for the grain at breakfast, or you can just add it.  Is nap time calming or is it also a challenging time?  Children need to feel calm to fall asleep.  Children and adults have a harder time with behavior when they are tired or hungry.

5.  The next level up the pyramid is where it really helps the difficult children.  Doing the bottom level, which is relationships and environment ,helps eliminate most challenging behaviors.  However, if some persist, this next level has you create specific helps for specific children.  Visual schedules really help.  Having a picture of what happens during the day helps children who have difficulties with transition.  Be sure you are saying when there are 5 minutes left before the next activity so the children can prepare mentally for the transition.  Keep the schedule and routine as consistent as possible.  The website has a lot of ideas for various different situations.  Also keep the fun happening so you keep the majority engaged so you can handle the difficult children.  Be sure you are rotating different toys in and out so the environment looks new and inviting and stimulating each week.

6.  The top of the pyramid is for the few children who need extra services, such as a counselor or therapist or intensive intervention.  This is for children who have been through abuse or have special needs of some sort.

I could type for a long time, but check out your state's QRIS services and join that program if it is offered and get a coach.  Read all the helps on the website link above.
One more thing is I have seen teachers tell kids, "Use your words," but it needs to be more than that.  Stand by a child who is having a problem and needs to say words.  Coach the child on what to say.  Get down on their level and put an arm on their shoulder or around them so they feel supported.  Here is what I say with 2-year-olds, and it works great up to 4 and 5 year olds too.

"Johnny, let's hand that truck back to Billy. Let me help you know what to say instead of just taking it.  Ask Billy, 'Can I play with that truck?'  (Then I tell Billy he can say yes or no).  "Johnny, Billy said no.  Can you ask Billy when he will be done with it?  Ok, he said he'll be done in a little while.  Ask if he can give it to you when he is done."
What I've noticed is that since Billy knows Johnny wants it, he will play just a little while with it and then hand it to Johnny.

I think once you do these things and read the website you will get it down to manageable behavior.  Do check with your state about your QRIS.  See if you can get a coach who knows the pyramid model well.  Offer trainings to your teachers on the pyramid model.  Watch the videos on the website and make the materials and ideas on it.  I'd like to know how it turns out.  Write a follow-up once you begin implementing it!

DeAnn Jones


------------------------------
DeAnn Jones
Co-Facilitator for the Family Child Care Interest Forum
Discovery Place Child Care, LLC
Bozeman, MT

Original Message:
Sent: 12-09-2019 06:22 PM
From: Kimberly Whitenack
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

Hello Everyone! I am looking for some guidance in dealing with behavioral problems and getting parents on board to help the teachers with some of our 3-5 year old classes. The classes are divided by age, have 2 teachers at all times, and have anywhere from 15-20 students.  We have several children within those classes who hit, scratch, kick, punch their peers and teachers and some just flat out disrespect any authority. While I understand some of this is developmentally appropriate as they are learning to use words to express themselves, however, for some kids this is a constant behavior. The teachers are very qualified and doing everything in their power to combat the situations. They are redirecting, rewarding/praising students when they do make positive choices, trying to ignore the behavior at times to see if it attention related, we have several sensory and hands on activities to try and keep them busy, we encourage them to use words and not their hands, feet, etc. and we try to give those classes extra help but that isn't always possible. In return this takes away from time doing fun things with the other students and getting certain activities compeleted. Plus, some of the well-behaved students are starting to mimic the other students behavior to get attention. The teachers are becoming frustrated at the lack of care or concern from parents to follow up at home about respecting authority and needing to be kind to others. Most of the parents of the ones acting out have the attitude of "I am at work and they are in your care during those hours so you should just deal with it. It's not my problem and they don't do that at home"  or "Yeah we struggle with the same thing at home too. We just don't know what to do." I also have teachers who are getting frustrated from being hit, kicked and scratched, etc. almost daily. At what point as administration do we dismiss children, how long do we continue to deal with and keep talking to parents who are defeated or don't care. Also, I want the teachers to fill supported and backed from administration in these situations, but also how much simply is "normal" and they need to learn different ways to "cope" with the behavior. I have been in both settings teaching and administration. I have had terrible years where I had shoes thrown at me, pinched, kicked, etc. So I understand their frustration, but it seems like this is becoming more and more in society and parents seem to care less and less and be less involved. No one seems to know the politically correct way to handle the situation in talking with other Directors in the area. Please note this is not every familiy we have in our center. We do have many sweet and caring familes. I don't want to make it sound like it is all bad. At the end of the day we love all of our students and families, but we want what is best and safe for them and our teachers. Any advice is much appreciated!

------------------------------
Kimberly
Assistant Director
Virginia
------------------------------

Thanks for the updated link!  I hadn't known they were working from a different site.  I'll look to see what is updated.  In your experience, what are the main changes or is there a main focus that is new?

------------------------------
DeAnn Jones
Co-Facilitator for the Family Child Care Interest Forum
Discovery Place Child Care, LLC
Bozeman, MT
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 12-11-2019 01:59 PM
From: DEBORAH Collette-Cromp
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

The CSEFEL site has not been updated in years. the researchers have been working out of the NCPMI, National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations https://challengingbehavior.cbcs.usf.edu/index.html
this site is updated. there have been revisions based on more current research &what hasn't been updated is linked to CSFEL



------------------------------
DEBORAH Collette-Cromp
Teacher/Trainer/Consultant/Coach
Teaching Improves Performance
Malone NY

Original Message:
Sent: 12-10-2019 01:50 AM
From: DeAnn Jones
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

Hi Kimberly,

I can tell this is frustrating to you and your teachers and that help is needed right away.  I can see how it is escalating, and I can see that it appears children over time are becoming more and more challenging.  However, you really can have a caring community of learners at your center, regardless of what parents do at home.  Here are my suggestions.

1.  Look into getting trained on the pyramid model.  Here is a link to the website, but individual states may have their own trainings for this. http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/resources/strategies.html   At least there are many helps on that website if you can't find trainings.  If your state participates in a Quality Rating and Improvement System (QRIS), there is often a coach provided to help with challenging behaviors who can "coach" you on implementing various aspects of the pyramid model.

2.  Don't expect parents to solve their child's behavior problems from home.  I've noticed parents feel helpless about correcting behavior problems after the fact, when they are stuck at work and cannot help their child in the moment of the behavior problem, and they can't see what is going on or see the whole picture.  Talking with them about respecting authority is one part of the process, but it cannot do as much good as what you and the teachers can do.

3.  My top suggestion is to work on the relationship of the teachers with the children, rather than ignoring problems hoping to extinguish them.  I'm not much of a behaviorist, so I don't like rewards or praise for good behavior.  Getting a climate and feeling in the classrooms of loving and caring for each other will help heal the turmoil going on inside the children who are acting out more than rewards can.  Once children realize how much the teachers love and care about them, they can become true friends and advocates for the teacher.  This is hard for the teachers to have to start this when some children are very disrespectful.  Teachers might hope that the child can be respectful first, and then the teacher can be loving and kind, but the teachers are the adults and need to make the first move toward this.  It will be hard at first, and I am not assuming the teachers are not loving and kind, but the part that helps most is to focus on that one aspect, despite how hard the obstacles are.

4.  The next part of the pyramid that goes hand and hand with relationships is the environment.  Have a coach look over the environment with you to see what problem areas can be eliminated. For younger children, having multiples of toys they all want helps to eliminate problems with sharing and turn taking.  Also make sure there are quiet places where children can go to be alone if they are feeling overwhelmed.  Create a calm down corner for children to voluntarily go to when then need a break.  Teachers should not send them there and make it a time out.  Children know and will go there on their own when being alone is what they need.  Have calming things in the calm down corner can really help, such as a pinwheel to blow, a sand time, sensory bottles, laminated cards that have picture ideas for ways to solve problems (the website has some you can use), find and seek rice bag, etc.  Also make sure there are soft places, such as soft furniture, stuffed animals, blankets in the housekeeping area, etc.  Be sure there is at least 35 square feet per child, but more than 50 feet is recommended.  This does not count areas that have furniture or toy shelves, etc.  It needs to be useable space for children to play.  Have protected areas for various areas, such as shelves protecting the block area so children are not running through and knocking over other children's block towers.  Observe the environment during these problem times to see what in the environment can be causing the problem. It might even be lighting, or being the room is too hot or too cold.  Another thing about the environment to consider is when breakfast, meals and snacks are served.  Is there more than 2-3 hours between food being served?  Maybe some of the children are hungry.  Is there enough for children to eat at these food service times?  Are they getting enough protein to sustain them from breakfast?  You can substitute a protein for the grain at breakfast, or you can just add it.  Is nap time calming or is it also a challenging time?  Children need to feel calm to fall asleep.  Children and adults have a harder time with behavior when they are tired or hungry.

5.  The next level up the pyramid is where it really helps the difficult children.  Doing the bottom level, which is relationships and environment ,helps eliminate most challenging behaviors.  However, if some persist, this next level has you create specific helps for specific children.  Visual schedules really help.  Having a picture of what happens during the day helps children who have difficulties with transition.  Be sure you are saying when there are 5 minutes left before the next activity so the children can prepare mentally for the transition.  Keep the schedule and routine as consistent as possible.  The website has a lot of ideas for various different situations.  Also keep the fun happening so you keep the majority engaged so you can handle the difficult children.  Be sure you are rotating different toys in and out so the environment looks new and inviting and stimulating each week.

6.  The top of the pyramid is for the few children who need extra services, such as a counselor or therapist or intensive intervention.  This is for children who have been through abuse or have special needs of some sort.

I could type for a long time, but check out your state's QRIS services and join that program if it is offered and get a coach.  Read all the helps on the website link above.
One more thing is I have seen teachers tell kids, "Use your words," but it needs to be more than that.  Stand by a child who is having a problem and needs to say words.  Coach the child on what to say.  Get down on their level and put an arm on their shoulder or around them so they feel supported.  Here is what I say with 2-year-olds, and it works great up to 4 and 5 year olds too.

"Johnny, let's hand that truck back to Billy. Let me help you know what to say instead of just taking it.  Ask Billy, 'Can I play with that truck?'  (Then I tell Billy he can say yes or no).  "Johnny, Billy said no.  Can you ask Billy when he will be done with it?  Ok, he said he'll be done in a little while.  Ask if he can give it to you when he is done."
What I've noticed is that since Billy knows Johnny wants it, he will play just a little while with it and then hand it to Johnny.

I think once you do these things and read the website you will get it down to manageable behavior.  Do check with your state about your QRIS.  See if you can get a coach who knows the pyramid model well.  Offer trainings to your teachers on the pyramid model.  Watch the videos on the website and make the materials and ideas on it.  I'd like to know how it turns out.  Write a follow-up once you begin implementing it!

DeAnn Jones


------------------------------
DeAnn Jones
Co-Facilitator for the Family Child Care Interest Forum
Discovery Place Child Care, LLC
Bozeman, MT

Original Message:
Sent: 12-09-2019 06:22 PM
From: Kimberly Whitenack
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

Hello Everyone! I am looking for some guidance in dealing with behavioral problems and getting parents on board to help the teachers with some of our 3-5 year old classes. The classes are divided by age, have 2 teachers at all times, and have anywhere from 15-20 students.  We have several children within those classes who hit, scratch, kick, punch their peers and teachers and some just flat out disrespect any authority. While I understand some of this is developmentally appropriate as they are learning to use words to express themselves, however, for some kids this is a constant behavior. The teachers are very qualified and doing everything in their power to combat the situations. They are redirecting, rewarding/praising students when they do make positive choices, trying to ignore the behavior at times to see if it attention related, we have several sensory and hands on activities to try and keep them busy, we encourage them to use words and not their hands, feet, etc. and we try to give those classes extra help but that isn't always possible. In return this takes away from time doing fun things with the other students and getting certain activities compeleted. Plus, some of the well-behaved students are starting to mimic the other students behavior to get attention. The teachers are becoming frustrated at the lack of care or concern from parents to follow up at home about respecting authority and needing to be kind to others. Most of the parents of the ones acting out have the attitude of "I am at work and they are in your care during those hours so you should just deal with it. It's not my problem and they don't do that at home"  or "Yeah we struggle with the same thing at home too. We just don't know what to do." I also have teachers who are getting frustrated from being hit, kicked and scratched, etc. almost daily. At what point as administration do we dismiss children, how long do we continue to deal with and keep talking to parents who are defeated or don't care. Also, I want the teachers to fill supported and backed from administration in these situations, but also how much simply is "normal" and they need to learn different ways to "cope" with the behavior. I have been in both settings teaching and administration. I have had terrible years where I had shoes thrown at me, pinched, kicked, etc. So I understand their frustration, but it seems like this is becoming more and more in society and parents seem to care less and less and be less involved. No one seems to know the politically correct way to handle the situation in talking with other Directors in the area. Please note this is not every familiy we have in our center. We do have many sweet and caring familes. I don't want to make it sound like it is all bad. At the end of the day we love all of our students and families, but we want what is best and safe for them and our teachers. Any advice is much appreciated!

------------------------------
Kimberly
Assistant Director
Virginia
------------------------------

I am dealing with the same issues.

------------------------------
Cleotonia Heller
Interim Head Start Dir/COO
Trumbull Community Action Program
Warren OH
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 12-09-2019 06:22 PM
From: Kimberly Whitenack
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

Hello Everyone! I am looking for some guidance in dealing with behavioral problems and getting parents on board to help the teachers with some of our 3-5 year old classes. The classes are divided by age, have 2 teachers at all times, and have anywhere from 15-20 students.  We have several children within those classes who hit, scratch, kick, punch their peers and teachers and some just flat out disrespect any authority. While I understand some of this is developmentally appropriate as they are learning to use words to express themselves, however, for some kids this is a constant behavior. The teachers are very qualified and doing everything in their power to combat the situations. They are redirecting, rewarding/praising students when they do make positive choices, trying to ignore the behavior at times to see if it attention related, we have several sensory and hands on activities to try and keep them busy, we encourage them to use words and not their hands, feet, etc. and we try to give those classes extra help but that isn't always possible. In return this takes away from time doing fun things with the other students and getting certain activities compeleted. Plus, some of the well-behaved students are starting to mimic the other students behavior to get attention. The teachers are becoming frustrated at the lack of care or concern from parents to follow up at home about respecting authority and needing to be kind to others. Most of the parents of the ones acting out have the attitude of "I am at work and they are in your care during those hours so you should just deal with it. It's not my problem and they don't do that at home"  or "Yeah we struggle with the same thing at home too. We just don't know what to do." I also have teachers who are getting frustrated from being hit, kicked and scratched, etc. almost daily. At what point as administration do we dismiss children, how long do we continue to deal with and keep talking to parents who are defeated or don't care. Also, I want the teachers to fill supported and backed from administration in these situations, but also how much simply is "normal" and they need to learn different ways to "cope" with the behavior. I have been in both settings teaching and administration. I have had terrible years where I had shoes thrown at me, pinched, kicked, etc. So I understand their frustration, but it seems like this is becoming more and more in society and parents seem to care less and less and be less involved. No one seems to know the politically correct way to handle the situation in talking with other Directors in the area. Please note this is not every familiy we have in our center. We do have many sweet and caring familes. I don't want to make it sound like it is all bad. At the end of the day we love all of our students and families, but we want what is best and safe for them and our teachers. Any advice is much appreciated!

------------------------------
Kimberly
Assistant Director
Virginia
------------------------------

Hi Kimberly,
Sounds like there's a LOT going on in these rooms. On a very basic level, (to help tomorrow sort of idea) I would encourage your teachers to "divide and conquer". Asking families to help with a situation that occurred during the day, that most likely the child doesn't even recall, isn't going to help in the "heat of the moment" for staff.  We do this with any challenging class with two teachers in it.  Half go outside while half stay in and do group/centers/free choice (whatever their schedule is) then switch.  Teachers strategically divide conflicting personalities and/or challenging children.  The large group tends to be over-stimulating for some children, especially those with challenging behaviors.  This helps alleviate some of that for part of the day.

In the smaller groups our teachers can focus on play or social skills with challenging children to help them learn appropriate responses and positive play skills (whether in the classroom or playground).  We also allow them to play where they choose, not requiring anyone to complete a center activity because its on the lesson plan that day.  If a child is engrossed in the water table, they are allowed to stay there.  They're getting what they're needing, which is more valuable than we think.  (We do a lot of sensory play and offer fidget toys also)

Our support staff, Center Director and other Admin staff in the building, also come in these classrooms during outbursts/tantrums/etc as an extra set of hands. We try to have a system in place ahead of time to either let one of the classroom teachers deal with a child or one of us come sit with the child, remove the child, etc. (Whichever the situation warrants). And we also talk with the calm child about how to deal with the situation in an appropriate way (asking if they can have a toy when they're friend is done, rather than snatch it away,hit, etc) then help them re-enter the situation/classroom once calm.

We have implemented a little social story I found here:  HeadStart Visual/SE charts  about using "dragon breaths when mad" that we taught the entire class. We sent a brief letter home to all families about how we were using it in the classroom and encouraged them to practice it at home also. We also sent the little book home with children who need extra practice. 

There's not one perfect answer to resolve all of these issues, but hopefully it helps your staff, then they can try to get families on board.

------------------------------
Kim Spankowski
Education Director
Grandma's House Day Care Center
Brookfield WI
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 12-09-2019 06:22 PM
From: Kimberly Whitenack
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

Hello Everyone! I am looking for some guidance in dealing with behavioral problems and getting parents on board to help the teachers with some of our 3-5 year old classes. The classes are divided by age, have 2 teachers at all times, and have anywhere from 15-20 students.  We have several children within those classes who hit, scratch, kick, punch their peers and teachers and some just flat out disrespect any authority. While I understand some of this is developmentally appropriate as they are learning to use words to express themselves, however, for some kids this is a constant behavior. The teachers are very qualified and doing everything in their power to combat the situations. They are redirecting, rewarding/praising students when they do make positive choices, trying to ignore the behavior at times to see if it attention related, we have several sensory and hands on activities to try and keep them busy, we encourage them to use words and not their hands, feet, etc. and we try to give those classes extra help but that isn't always possible. In return this takes away from time doing fun things with the other students and getting certain activities compeleted. Plus, some of the well-behaved students are starting to mimic the other students behavior to get attention. The teachers are becoming frustrated at the lack of care or concern from parents to follow up at home about respecting authority and needing to be kind to others. Most of the parents of the ones acting out have the attitude of "I am at work and they are in your care during those hours so you should just deal with it. It's not my problem and they don't do that at home"  or "Yeah we struggle with the same thing at home too. We just don't know what to do." I also have teachers who are getting frustrated from being hit, kicked and scratched, etc. almost daily. At what point as administration do we dismiss children, how long do we continue to deal with and keep talking to parents who are defeated or don't care. Also, I want the teachers to fill supported and backed from administration in these situations, but also how much simply is "normal" and they need to learn different ways to "cope" with the behavior. I have been in both settings teaching and administration. I have had terrible years where I had shoes thrown at me, pinched, kicked, etc. So I understand their frustration, but it seems like this is becoming more and more in society and parents seem to care less and less and be less involved. No one seems to know the politically correct way to handle the situation in talking with other Directors in the area. Please note this is not every familiy we have in our center. We do have many sweet and caring familes. I don't want to make it sound like it is all bad. At the end of the day we love all of our students and families, but we want what is best and safe for them and our teachers. Any advice is much appreciated!

------------------------------
Kimberly
Assistant Director
Virginia
------------------------------

Thank you everyone for your input. I appreciate the insight and will look into the materials suggested too. 

We do have child friendly schedules in the classrooms with pictures for children to help with transitioning and letting them know what comes next throughout day. As well as giving them signals when it is time to transtion to the next activity. 

We do have calm down areas in our rooms or create them as they are needed depending on the temperament of the classrooms. If we are able we try and separate them until they calm down. We as administration do our best to help in situations, but due to the size of our program we can't always be present in every situation, but we try our best. If we were to constantly intervene that also causes the teacher to lose their authority if the child is brought to us every time they act out or we come to them. That can also lead to the child to act out further knowing they will have to come to the office which then becomes a "fun" field trip to them.

When I say getting parents on board I don't mean punishing them for their behavior during the day at home - obviously behavior needs to be dealt with in the moment or once they have calmed down. I guess what I am trying to say is how do you get the parents to support the teachers and showing their child a united front with the teacher that harmful behavior is not ok? I know growing up my parents would have never tolerated me hitting or kicking my teachers because I didn't get my way or because I didn't want to share. They supported my teachers and followed up with conversations at home about what to do when upset aside from being physical. I know there are some children who can't control their impulses for medical reasons or have been diagnosed with behavior problems. I am not referring to those kind of situations either. I am referring to those who know and are aware of what they are doing and continue to do so - I feel parents need to help/start teaching the child take ownership of their actions alongside of the teachers. They can't go through life being aggressive when they aren't happy. I feel like sometimes behavior escalates or doesn't change when the child sees the parent does not necessarily respect the teacher enough to follow up or brushes off the fact they are physical in class. It then shows the child that they are accepting of this physical behavior and therefore why should they stop and causes the teacher to feel defeated because everything that tried to instill that day goes right out the window the moment the parent picks up. Maybe I am wrong. 


------------------------------
Kimberly Whitenack
Assistant Director
Virginia
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 12-10-2019 01:24 PM
From: Kim Spankowski
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

Hi Kimberly,
Sounds like there's a LOT going on in these rooms. On a very basic level, (to help tomorrow sort of idea) I would encourage your teachers to "divide and conquer". Asking families to help with a situation that occurred during the day, that most likely the child doesn't even recall, isn't going to help in the "heat of the moment" for staff.  We do this with any challenging class with two teachers in it.  Half go outside while half stay in and do group/centers/free choice (whatever their schedule is) then switch.  Teachers strategically divide conflicting personalities and/or challenging children.  The large group tends to be over-stimulating for some children, especially those with challenging behaviors.  This helps alleviate some of that for part of the day.

In the smaller groups our teachers can focus on play or social skills with challenging children to help them learn appropriate responses and positive play skills (whether in the classroom or playground).  We also allow them to play where they choose, not requiring anyone to complete a center activity because its on the lesson plan that day.  If a child is engrossed in the water table, they are allowed to stay there.  They're getting what they're needing, which is more valuable than we think.  (We do a lot of sensory play and offer fidget toys also)

Our support staff, Center Director and other Admin staff in the building, also come in these classrooms during outbursts/tantrums/etc as an extra set of hands. We try to have a system in place ahead of time to either let one of the classroom teachers deal with a child or one of us come sit with the child, remove the child, etc. (Whichever the situation warrants). And we also talk with the calm child about how to deal with the situation in an appropriate way (asking if they can have a toy when they're friend is done, rather than snatch it away,hit, etc) then help them re-enter the situation/classroom once calm.

We have implemented a little social story I found here:  HeadStart Visual/SE charts  about using "dragon breaths when mad" that we taught the entire class. We sent a brief letter home to all families about how we were using it in the classroom and encouraged them to practice it at home also. We also sent the little book home with children who need extra practice.

There's not one perfect answer to resolve all of these issues, but hopefully it helps your staff, then they can try to get families on board.

------------------------------
Kim Spankowski
Education Director
Grandma's House Day Care Center
Brookfield WI

Original Message:
Sent: 12-09-2019 06:22 PM
From: Kimberly Whitenack
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

Hello Everyone! I am looking for some guidance in dealing with behavioral problems and getting parents on board to help the teachers with some of our 3-5 year old classes. The classes are divided by age, have 2 teachers at all times, and have anywhere from 15-20 students.  We have several children within those classes who hit, scratch, kick, punch their peers and teachers and some just flat out disrespect any authority. While I understand some of this is developmentally appropriate as they are learning to use words to express themselves, however, for some kids this is a constant behavior. The teachers are very qualified and doing everything in their power to combat the situations. They are redirecting, rewarding/praising students when they do make positive choices, trying to ignore the behavior at times to see if it attention related, we have several sensory and hands on activities to try and keep them busy, we encourage them to use words and not their hands, feet, etc. and we try to give those classes extra help but that isn't always possible. In return this takes away from time doing fun things with the other students and getting certain activities compeleted. Plus, some of the well-behaved students are starting to mimic the other students behavior to get attention. The teachers are becoming frustrated at the lack of care or concern from parents to follow up at home about respecting authority and needing to be kind to others. Most of the parents of the ones acting out have the attitude of "I am at work and they are in your care during those hours so you should just deal with it. It's not my problem and they don't do that at home"  or "Yeah we struggle with the same thing at home too. We just don't know what to do." I also have teachers who are getting frustrated from being hit, kicked and scratched, etc. almost daily. At what point as administration do we dismiss children, how long do we continue to deal with and keep talking to parents who are defeated or don't care. Also, I want the teachers to fill supported and backed from administration in these situations, but also how much simply is "normal" and they need to learn different ways to "cope" with the behavior. I have been in both settings teaching and administration. I have had terrible years where I had shoes thrown at me, pinched, kicked, etc. So I understand their frustration, but it seems like this is becoming more and more in society and parents seem to care less and less and be less involved. No one seems to know the politically correct way to handle the situation in talking with other Directors in the area. Please note this is not every familiy we have in our center. We do have many sweet and caring familes. I don't want to make it sound like it is all bad. At the end of the day we love all of our students and families, but we want what is best and safe for them and our teachers. Any advice is much appreciated!

------------------------------
Kimberly
Assistant Director
Virginia
------------------------------

The Pyramid Model has a great family component. One of the many pieces we use at my school is the backpack connections 
https://challengingbehavior.cbcs.usf.edu/Implementation/family.html#collapse2
We have found them useful when talking with families. As families can look at those privately, on their own time, they seem more likely to think about these ideas and try them.  Many of these resources are also available in Spanish and Chinese

Anne


------------------------------
Anne Lowry
Teacher
Aleph Academy
Reno NV
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 12-10-2019 02:45 PM
From: Kimberly Whitenack
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

Thank you everyone for your input. I appreciate the insight and will look into the materials suggested too.

We do have child friendly schedules in the classrooms with pictures for children to help with transitioning and letting them know what comes next throughout day. As well as giving them signals when it is time to transtion to the next activity.

We do have calm down areas in our rooms or create them as they are needed depending on the temperament of the classrooms. If we are able we try and separate them until they calm down. We as administration do our best to help in situations, but due to the size of our program we can't always be present in every situation, but we try our best. If we were to constantly intervene that also causes the teacher to lose their authority if the child is brought to us every time they act out or we come to them. That can also lead to the child to act out further knowing they will have to come to the office which then becomes a "fun" field trip to them.

When I say getting parents on board I don't mean punishing them for their behavior during the day at home - obviously behavior needs to be dealt with in the moment or once they have calmed down. I guess what I am trying to say is how do you get the parents to support the teachers and showing their child a united front with the teacher that harmful behavior is not ok? I know growing up my parents would have never tolerated me hitting or kicking my teachers because I didn't get my way or because I didn't want to share. They supported my teachers and followed up with conversations at home about what to do when upset aside from being physical. I know there are some children who can't control their impulses for medical reasons or have been diagnosed with behavior problems. I am not referring to those kind of situations either. I am referring to those who know and are aware of what they are doing and continue to do so - I feel parents need to help/start teaching the child take ownership of their actions alongside of the teachers. They can't go through life being aggressive when they aren't happy. I feel like sometimes behavior escalates or doesn't change when the child sees the parent does not necessarily respect the teacher enough to follow up or brushes off the fact they are physical in class. It then shows the child that they are accepting of this physical behavior and therefore why should they stop and causes the teacher to feel defeated because everything that tried to instill that day goes right out the window the moment the parent picks up. Maybe I am wrong.


------------------------------
Kimberly Whitenack
Assistant Director
Virginia

Original Message:
Sent: 12-10-2019 01:24 PM
From: Kim Spankowski
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

Hi Kimberly,
Sounds like there's a LOT going on in these rooms. On a very basic level, (to help tomorrow sort of idea) I would encourage your teachers to "divide and conquer". Asking families to help with a situation that occurred during the day, that most likely the child doesn't even recall, isn't going to help in the "heat of the moment" for staff.  We do this with any challenging class with two teachers in it.  Half go outside while half stay in and do group/centers/free choice (whatever their schedule is) then switch.  Teachers strategically divide conflicting personalities and/or challenging children.  The large group tends to be over-stimulating for some children, especially those with challenging behaviors.  This helps alleviate some of that for part of the day.

In the smaller groups our teachers can focus on play or social skills with challenging children to help them learn appropriate responses and positive play skills (whether in the classroom or playground).  We also allow them to play where they choose, not requiring anyone to complete a center activity because its on the lesson plan that day.  If a child is engrossed in the water table, they are allowed to stay there.  They're getting what they're needing, which is more valuable than we think.  (We do a lot of sensory play and offer fidget toys also)

Our support staff, Center Director and other Admin staff in the building, also come in these classrooms during outbursts/tantrums/etc as an extra set of hands. We try to have a system in place ahead of time to either let one of the classroom teachers deal with a child or one of us come sit with the child, remove the child, etc. (Whichever the situation warrants). And we also talk with the calm child about how to deal with the situation in an appropriate way (asking if they can have a toy when they're friend is done, rather than snatch it away,hit, etc) then help them re-enter the situation/classroom once calm.

We have implemented a little social story I found here:  HeadStart Visual/SE charts  about using "dragon breaths when mad" that we taught the entire class. We sent a brief letter home to all families about how we were using it in the classroom and encouraged them to practice it at home also. We also sent the little book home with children who need extra practice.

There's not one perfect answer to resolve all of these issues, but hopefully it helps your staff, then they can try to get families on board.

------------------------------
Kim Spankowski
Education Director
Grandma's House Day Care Center
Brookfield WI

Original Message:
Sent: 12-09-2019 06:22 PM
From: Kimberly Whitenack
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

Hello Everyone! I am looking for some guidance in dealing with behavioral problems and getting parents on board to help the teachers with some of our 3-5 year old classes. The classes are divided by age, have 2 teachers at all times, and have anywhere from 15-20 students.  We have several children within those classes who hit, scratch, kick, punch their peers and teachers and some just flat out disrespect any authority. While I understand some of this is developmentally appropriate as they are learning to use words to express themselves, however, for some kids this is a constant behavior. The teachers are very qualified and doing everything in their power to combat the situations. They are redirecting, rewarding/praising students when they do make positive choices, trying to ignore the behavior at times to see if it attention related, we have several sensory and hands on activities to try and keep them busy, we encourage them to use words and not their hands, feet, etc. and we try to give those classes extra help but that isn't always possible. In return this takes away from time doing fun things with the other students and getting certain activities compeleted. Plus, some of the well-behaved students are starting to mimic the other students behavior to get attention. The teachers are becoming frustrated at the lack of care or concern from parents to follow up at home about respecting authority and needing to be kind to others. Most of the parents of the ones acting out have the attitude of "I am at work and they are in your care during those hours so you should just deal with it. It's not my problem and they don't do that at home"  or "Yeah we struggle with the same thing at home too. We just don't know what to do." I also have teachers who are getting frustrated from being hit, kicked and scratched, etc. almost daily. At what point as administration do we dismiss children, how long do we continue to deal with and keep talking to parents who are defeated or don't care. Also, I want the teachers to fill supported and backed from administration in these situations, but also how much simply is "normal" and they need to learn different ways to "cope" with the behavior. I have been in both settings teaching and administration. I have had terrible years where I had shoes thrown at me, pinched, kicked, etc. So I understand their frustration, but it seems like this is becoming more and more in society and parents seem to care less and less and be less involved. No one seems to know the politically correct way to handle the situation in talking with other Directors in the area. Please note this is not every familiy we have in our center. We do have many sweet and caring familes. I don't want to make it sound like it is all bad. At the end of the day we love all of our students and families, but we want what is best and safe for them and our teachers. Any advice is much appreciated!

------------------------------
Kimberly
Assistant Director
Virginia
------------------------------

Hi. Do you have any students with diagnosed disabilities?

------------------------------
Margo Vaughan
Coordinator
Training and Technical Assistance Center
Blacksburg VA
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 12-09-2019 06:22 PM
From: Kimberly Whitenack
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

Hello Everyone! I am looking for some guidance in dealing with behavioral problems and getting parents on board to help the teachers with some of our 3-5 year old classes. The classes are divided by age, have 2 teachers at all times, and have anywhere from 15-20 students.  We have several children within those classes who hit, scratch, kick, punch their peers and teachers and some just flat out disrespect any authority. While I understand some of this is developmentally appropriate as they are learning to use words to express themselves, however, for some kids this is a constant behavior. The teachers are very qualified and doing everything in their power to combat the situations. They are redirecting, rewarding/praising students when they do make positive choices, trying to ignore the behavior at times to see if it attention related, we have several sensory and hands on activities to try and keep them busy, we encourage them to use words and not their hands, feet, etc. and we try to give those classes extra help but that isn't always possible. In return this takes away from time doing fun things with the other students and getting certain activities compeleted. Plus, some of the well-behaved students are starting to mimic the other students behavior to get attention. The teachers are becoming frustrated at the lack of care or concern from parents to follow up at home about respecting authority and needing to be kind to others. Most of the parents of the ones acting out have the attitude of "I am at work and they are in your care during those hours so you should just deal with it. It's not my problem and they don't do that at home"  or "Yeah we struggle with the same thing at home too. We just don't know what to do." I also have teachers who are getting frustrated from being hit, kicked and scratched, etc. almost daily. At what point as administration do we dismiss children, how long do we continue to deal with and keep talking to parents who are defeated or don't care. Also, I want the teachers to fill supported and backed from administration in these situations, but also how much simply is "normal" and they need to learn different ways to "cope" with the behavior. I have been in both settings teaching and administration. I have had terrible years where I had shoes thrown at me, pinched, kicked, etc. So I understand their frustration, but it seems like this is becoming more and more in society and parents seem to care less and less and be less involved. No one seems to know the politically correct way to handle the situation in talking with other Directors in the area. Please note this is not every familiy we have in our center. We do have many sweet and caring familes. I don't want to make it sound like it is all bad. At the end of the day we love all of our students and families, but we want what is best and safe for them and our teachers. Any advice is much appreciated!

------------------------------
Kimberly
Assistant Director
Virginia
------------------------------

No, none of our children at the moment enrolled in the center have any diagnosed behavioral issues. There are some we wonder if there is something underlying causing the outbursts but none have been evaluated for any specific behavioral problems. We have about 3 classrooms that have 2-3 children in each room that have these outbursts and now the other children who don't normally act out are starting to mimic the children who do act out.

Here is one of the examples that we had happen this week - A class was walking back from the lunchroom and they walked by one of the church's many Christmas trees and the child insisted on trying to knock off all the ornaments. The teachers tried to redirect and tried to distract the child. They tried to give the child choices so he could choose to make the right choice by not knocking off the ornaments. He was determined to continue and when he was not allowed to continue he laid on the floor and refused to walk, threw his lunch box and then tried running away. The teacher had to carry the child back to the classroom and the child bit her pretty hard and kicked her the whole way. However if she put him down the child would either try running off or lay down in the floor and refuse to walk. Then when you try to talk, place the child in time out or put him a quiet area those simply do not work. However when you are in the middle of a hallway with 15 students and two teachers you are limited as to what you can do. The other children get rowdy when the attention is taken off them then they to think it is ok to try and run away or lay down in the floor too and not walk. I don't always have an extra teacher on staff to give these classes a third person to help with the children who make some activities impossible. We literally have tried just about every technique because we know every child reacts differently to each situation. This type of behavior is typical for the other children I mentioned in the other classrooms too. I am trying to help the teachers and encourage them and find ideas to relieve the added stress, also trying to find a way to get parents on board with following up with their child at home or maybe the best way to recommend their child be evaluated if that is allowed and also trying to make sure the child stays safe. Sometimes the fits are all day and sometimes there may only be one fit and then they are cooperative the rest of the day or sometimes there are no episodes at all. So the behavior can be very inconsistent from week to week.

------------------------------
Kimberly
Assistant Director
Virginia
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 12-13-2019 06:58 AM
From: Margo Vaughan
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

Hi. Do you have any students with diagnosed disabilities?

------------------------------
Margo Vaughan
Coordinator
Training and Technical Assistance Center
Blacksburg VA

Original Message:
Sent: 12-09-2019 06:22 PM
From: Kimberly Whitenack
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

Hello Everyone! I am looking for some guidance in dealing with behavioral problems and getting parents on board to help the teachers with some of our 3-5 year old classes. The classes are divided by age, have 2 teachers at all times, and have anywhere from 15-20 students.  We have several children within those classes who hit, scratch, kick, punch their peers and teachers and some just flat out disrespect any authority. While I understand some of this is developmentally appropriate as they are learning to use words to express themselves, however, for some kids this is a constant behavior. The teachers are very qualified and doing everything in their power to combat the situations. They are redirecting, rewarding/praising students when they do make positive choices, trying to ignore the behavior at times to see if it attention related, we have several sensory and hands on activities to try and keep them busy, we encourage them to use words and not their hands, feet, etc. and we try to give those classes extra help but that isn't always possible. In return this takes away from time doing fun things with the other students and getting certain activities compeleted. Plus, some of the well-behaved students are starting to mimic the other students behavior to get attention. The teachers are becoming frustrated at the lack of care or concern from parents to follow up at home about respecting authority and needing to be kind to others. Most of the parents of the ones acting out have the attitude of "I am at work and they are in your care during those hours so you should just deal with it. It's not my problem and they don't do that at home"  or "Yeah we struggle with the same thing at home too. We just don't know what to do." I also have teachers who are getting frustrated from being hit, kicked and scratched, etc. almost daily. At what point as administration do we dismiss children, how long do we continue to deal with and keep talking to parents who are defeated or don't care. Also, I want the teachers to fill supported and backed from administration in these situations, but also how much simply is "normal" and they need to learn different ways to "cope" with the behavior. I have been in both settings teaching and administration. I have had terrible years where I had shoes thrown at me, pinched, kicked, etc. So I understand their frustration, but it seems like this is becoming more and more in society and parents seem to care less and less and be less involved. No one seems to know the politically correct way to handle the situation in talking with other Directors in the area. Please note this is not every familiy we have in our center. We do have many sweet and caring familes. I don't want to make it sound like it is all bad. At the end of the day we love all of our students and families, but we want what is best and safe for them and our teachers. Any advice is much appreciated!

------------------------------
Kimberly
Assistant Director
Virginia
------------------------------

Kimberly,

You've posted an important topic, and the ideas coming out of it are great. 

Make sure you are using all your available resources.  There are usually agencies in the community that can do testing and can get help for children age 3 and under.  They can usually come to your center or to the child's home to test the children.  Just check with the Zero to 3 agencies or what the equivalent agency is called in your state.  For children age 4 and older, check with the school district to get services and set up an Individual Education Plan (IEP) for those children who qualify.  

Make sure you are part of your state's QRIS, which generally means you get a "coach" who comes a couple times a month to give advice on ways to solve these issues and coaches you to find good solutions.  Working on the quality levels, such as studying the environmental rating scales or the CLASS scales will also help naturally alleviate  some of the problems.  

DeAnn

------------------------------
DeAnn Jones
Co-Facilitator for the Family Child Care Interest Forum
Discovery Place Child Care, LLC
Bozeman, MT
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 12-13-2019 04:20 PM
From: Kimberly Whitenack
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

No, none of our children at the moment enrolled in the center have any diagnosed behavioral issues. There are some we wonder if there is something underlying causing the outbursts but none have been evaluated for any specific behavioral problems. We have about 3 classrooms that have 2-3 children in each room that have these outbursts and now the other children who don't normally act out are starting to mimic the children who do act out.

Here is one of the examples that we had happen this week - A class was walking back from the lunchroom and they walked by one of the church's many Christmas trees and the child insisted on trying to knock off all the ornaments. The teachers tried to redirect and tried to distract the child. They tried to give the child choices so he could choose to make the right choice by not knocking off the ornaments. He was determined to continue and when he was not allowed to continue he laid on the floor and refused to walk, threw his lunch box and then tried running away. The teacher had to carry the child back to the classroom and the child bit her pretty hard and kicked her the whole way. However if she put him down the child would either try running off or lay down in the floor and refuse to walk. Then when you try to talk, place the child in time out or put him a quiet area those simply do not work. However when you are in the middle of a hallway with 15 students and two teachers you are limited as to what you can do. The other children get rowdy when the attention is taken off them then they to think it is ok to try and run away or lay down in the floor too and not walk. I don't always have an extra teacher on staff to give these classes a third person to help with the children who make some activities impossible. We literally have tried just about every technique because we know every child reacts differently to each situation. This type of behavior is typical for the other children I mentioned in the other classrooms too. I am trying to help the teachers and encourage them and find ideas to relieve the added stress, also trying to find a way to get parents on board with following up with their child at home or maybe the best way to recommend their child be evaluated if that is allowed and also trying to make sure the child stays safe. Sometimes the fits are all day and sometimes there may only be one fit and then they are cooperative the rest of the day or sometimes there are no episodes at all. So the behavior can be very inconsistent from week to week.

------------------------------
Kimberly
Assistant Director
Virginia

Original Message:
Sent: 12-13-2019 06:58 AM
From: Margo Vaughan
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

Hi. Do you have any students with diagnosed disabilities?

------------------------------
Margo Vaughan
Coordinator
Training and Technical Assistance Center
Blacksburg VA

Original Message:
Sent: 12-09-2019 06:22 PM
From: Kimberly Whitenack
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

Hello Everyone! I am looking for some guidance in dealing with behavioral problems and getting parents on board to help the teachers with some of our 3-5 year old classes. The classes are divided by age, have 2 teachers at all times, and have anywhere from 15-20 students.  We have several children within those classes who hit, scratch, kick, punch their peers and teachers and some just flat out disrespect any authority. While I understand some of this is developmentally appropriate as they are learning to use words to express themselves, however, for some kids this is a constant behavior. The teachers are very qualified and doing everything in their power to combat the situations. They are redirecting, rewarding/praising students when they do make positive choices, trying to ignore the behavior at times to see if it attention related, we have several sensory and hands on activities to try and keep them busy, we encourage them to use words and not their hands, feet, etc. and we try to give those classes extra help but that isn't always possible. In return this takes away from time doing fun things with the other students and getting certain activities compeleted. Plus, some of the well-behaved students are starting to mimic the other students behavior to get attention. The teachers are becoming frustrated at the lack of care or concern from parents to follow up at home about respecting authority and needing to be kind to others. Most of the parents of the ones acting out have the attitude of "I am at work and they are in your care during those hours so you should just deal with it. It's not my problem and they don't do that at home"  or "Yeah we struggle with the same thing at home too. We just don't know what to do." I also have teachers who are getting frustrated from being hit, kicked and scratched, etc. almost daily. At what point as administration do we dismiss children, how long do we continue to deal with and keep talking to parents who are defeated or don't care. Also, I want the teachers to fill supported and backed from administration in these situations, but also how much simply is "normal" and they need to learn different ways to "cope" with the behavior. I have been in both settings teaching and administration. I have had terrible years where I had shoes thrown at me, pinched, kicked, etc. So I understand their frustration, but it seems like this is becoming more and more in society and parents seem to care less and less and be less involved. No one seems to know the politically correct way to handle the situation in talking with other Directors in the area. Please note this is not every familiy we have in our center. We do have many sweet and caring familes. I don't want to make it sound like it is all bad. At the end of the day we love all of our students and families, but we want what is best and safe for them and our teachers. Any advice is much appreciated!

------------------------------
Kimberly
Assistant Director
Virginia
------------------------------

Hi Kimberly, 

Sometimes it can be difficult to get all parents on board, so start with what is actually in your control; an assessment of the environment would be a great place to begin. Pay attention to the following: Lighting- opt for warm lamps if possible instead of fluorescent, Sound- if you have tall ceilings, can fabric be hung? can soft music be played at low volumes? Can you add a water feature such as an electric water cascade? Can adult voices be softer and gentler? Scent- can you add in smelling jars with soothing scents such as lavender? 

Are areas divided clearly and furniture placed to prevent running from space to space?

I ask all this because sometimes, the behaviors you are addressing can arise in an overstimulating environment. 

Group conversations about taking care of each-other can be very helpful and find a teacher who is comfortable with putting on Puppet shows- these are a great way to address and model behavior in a way that children will love. 



------------------------------
Vanessa Winn
Program Coordinator
Anna Bing Arnold Children's Center
California State University, Los Angeles
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 12-09-2019 06:22 PM
From: Kimberly Whitenack
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

Hello Everyone! I am looking for some guidance in dealing with behavioral problems and getting parents on board to help the teachers with some of our 3-5 year old classes. The classes are divided by age, have 2 teachers at all times, and have anywhere from 15-20 students.  We have several children within those classes who hit, scratch, kick, punch their peers and teachers and some just flat out disrespect any authority. While I understand some of this is developmentally appropriate as they are learning to use words to express themselves, however, for some kids this is a constant behavior. The teachers are very qualified and doing everything in their power to combat the situations. They are redirecting, rewarding/praising students when they do make positive choices, trying to ignore the behavior at times to see if it attention related, we have several sensory and hands on activities to try and keep them busy, we encourage them to use words and not their hands, feet, etc. and we try to give those classes extra help but that isn't always possible. In return this takes away from time doing fun things with the other students and getting certain activities compeleted. Plus, some of the well-behaved students are starting to mimic the other students behavior to get attention. The teachers are becoming frustrated at the lack of care or concern from parents to follow up at home about respecting authority and needing to be kind to others. Most of the parents of the ones acting out have the attitude of "I am at work and they are in your care during those hours so you should just deal with it. It's not my problem and they don't do that at home"  or "Yeah we struggle with the same thing at home too. We just don't know what to do." I also have teachers who are getting frustrated from being hit, kicked and scratched, etc. almost daily. At what point as administration do we dismiss children, how long do we continue to deal with and keep talking to parents who are defeated or don't care. Also, I want the teachers to fill supported and backed from administration in these situations, but also how much simply is "normal" and they need to learn different ways to "cope" with the behavior. I have been in both settings teaching and administration. I have had terrible years where I had shoes thrown at me, pinched, kicked, etc. So I understand their frustration, but it seems like this is becoming more and more in society and parents seem to care less and less and be less involved. No one seems to know the politically correct way to handle the situation in talking with other Directors in the area. Please note this is not every familiy we have in our center. We do have many sweet and caring familes. I don't want to make it sound like it is all bad. At the end of the day we love all of our students and families, but we want what is best and safe for them and our teachers. Any advice is much appreciated!

------------------------------
Kimberly
Assistant Director
Virginia
------------------------------

Hi Kimberly,
There are a lot of good suggestions here but I haven't heard anyone mention an intentional exploration about what's going on for the individual child. Last year, one of my classrooms had a few kids with behaviors similar to what you describe. We were fortunate to work with a behavioral consultant who helped us determine strategies that were specific to each child. We had many discussions about what the child was trying to tell us with their behavior and then come up with ideas to meet the child's needs - as best we could.  For starters, what was the child trying to tell you when he was trying to pull all the ornaments of the tree? Was he overstimulated from the lunch room? Had the child next to him In line just aggravated him? Was he trying to get the teachers attention? It helps to know what's going on before trying to determine the intervention. 

That said, you asked about parents. And sadly I don't have a great answer because I had some of the same issues. I would suggest that the teachers need to develop strong relationships with all families as early as possible so when it comes time to have a conversation about behavior there is already a relationship foundation. It's so hard but it's also important that the families aren't feeling blamed for their child's behavior. They may not be handling the behaviors how you think they should but teachers can't send the message that the parents are at fault. The work needs to be a collaboration and the teachers need to truly believe that in order to convey that message. 

Sounds like you really have your hands full (don't we all) and it may be time for outside help. I wish you the best of luck and hope you got something helpful from all of these replies. 

------------------------------
Sarah Sian
Director
Open Center for Children
Auburndale MA
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 12-09-2019 06:22 PM
From: Kimberly Whitenack
Subject: Techniques for getting parents and teachers on the same page with behavioral issues.

Hello Everyone! I am looking for some guidance in dealing with behavioral problems and getting parents on board to help the teachers with some of our 3-5 year old classes. The classes are divided by age, have 2 teachers at all times, and have anywhere from 15-20 students.  We have several children within those classes who hit, scratch, kick, punch their peers and teachers and some just flat out disrespect any authority. While I understand some of this is developmentally appropriate as they are learning to use words to express themselves, however, for some kids this is a constant behavior. The teachers are very qualified and doing everything in their power to combat the situations. They are redirecting, rewarding/praising students when they do make positive choices, trying to ignore the behavior at times to see if it attention related, we have several sensory and hands on activities to try and keep them busy, we encourage them to use words and not their hands, feet, etc. and we try to give those classes extra help but that isn't always possible. In return this takes away from time doing fun things with the other students and getting certain activities compeleted. Plus, some of the well-behaved students are starting to mimic the other students behavior to get attention. The teachers are becoming frustrated at the lack of care or concern from parents to follow up at home about respecting authority and needing to be kind to others. Most of the parents of the ones acting out have the attitude of "I am at work and they are in your care during those hours so you should just deal with it. It's not my problem and they don't do that at home"  or "Yeah we struggle with the same thing at home too. We just don't know what to do." I also have teachers who are getting frustrated from being hit, kicked and scratched, etc. almost daily. At what point as administration do we dismiss children, how long do we continue to deal with and keep talking to parents who are defeated or don't care. Also, I want the teachers to fill supported and backed from administration in these situations, but also how much simply is "normal" and they need to learn different ways to "cope" with the behavior. I have been in both settings teaching and administration. I have had terrible years where I had shoes thrown at me, pinched, kicked, etc. So I understand their frustration, but it seems like this is becoming more and more in society and parents seem to care less and less and be less involved. No one seems to know the politically correct way to handle the situation in talking with other Directors in the area. Please note this is not every familiy we have in our center. We do have many sweet and caring familes. I don't want to make it sound like it is all bad. At the end of the day we love all of our students and families, but we want what is best and safe for them and our teachers. Any advice is much appreciated!

------------------------------
Kimberly
Assistant Director
Virginia
------------------------------